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This Ain’t Urban Cowboy XXX

Hustler Video

Genre: Parody

The Ladies

Director: Otto Bauer

Cast: Payton Leigh, Jenner, Mia Valentina, Joey Brass, Andy San Dimas, Dana DeArmond, Otto Bauer, Mariah Madysinn, Scotty Lyons, Alec Knight, Seth Gamble

Length: 109:17 minutes

Date of Production: 2011

Extras: The extras were better this time and included a 9:37 minute long Behind the Scenes feature, some spam, an FSC anti-piracy commercial, a photogallery, some trailers, and more spam.

Condoms: None

Payton Leigh

Audio/Video Quality: This Ain’t Urban Cowboy XXX was presented in 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen as shot by director Otto Bauer for Hustler Video. With Jake Jacobs and Sammy Slater helping Otto on camera and “Sir Licks A Twat” editing the movie, the technical aspects were okay but hardly in keeping with most of the better parodies on the market of late. The picture lacked grain, compression artifacts and other flaws for the most part but seemed kind of flat on technical matters much like the acting and performing in most cases. The video bitrate was all over the place too but did not appear to be a major factor here, the show looking decent for this kind of thing. The 2.0 Dolby Digital audio was offered in a 48 kHz sampling rate using 224 Kbps audio bitrate, the music so integral to the original movie was completely generic in this production so while it might have been fair for a gonzo flavored set of scenes, it was modest for a parody of this nature.

Mia Valentina

Body of Review: Otto Bauer has had a deserved reputation as a performer, actor, and director of porn over the years. Now that he directs for Hustler Video, his edge seems to be gone, the company well known for catering to a broader cross section of porn fandom and couples than the kind of production he used to make. His latest movie coming in for review is called This Ain’t Urban Cowboy XXX, the fuck flick taking on an almost tribute aspect to the parody making approach rather than what normal people would call a “parody”. That said, the John Travolta western from decades ago combined all the basic dramatic devices but as a movie, it was about as generic as could be except for the dancing and music, neither of which seemed to be focused on in this particular project. I’d rather not spoil the limited amount of story and feature elements offered up in the show but the title will have to sell on name alone given how it was all put together, a cute tribute but lacking depth. Here’s a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used for those still interested:

Andy San Dimas

Scene One: Payton Leigh, playing up the white trash angle of the casting, was up first as she slobbed the knob of equally at home Jenner, the quick hummer leading to some active but mechanical vaginal riding on the couch. They screwed in a couple of positions and he beat off a wad of genetic juice to her chest, and ending kiss not helping to place it in context any more than the initial dialogue.

Dana DeArmond and Otto Bauer

Scene Two: Mia Valentina, a cute brunette with a stripper’s physique, was up next as she went down on Joey Brass in the sparse home. Using some hand to gland combat, she focused most of her attention on the tip of his pecker, some tongue to the balls leading to a couple positions of vaginal penetration where she really could not be overly active but he pounded away at her pretty smoking hard all the same. Towards the end of the action, she climbed on top of his lap to impale herself soundly, her all natural, itty bitty titties moving ever so slightly before he took his time jerking out a wad of spunk to her open mouth as she looked up at him from her kneels.

Mariah Madysinn

Scene Three: Andy San Dimas, the cutie featured on the front cover, was up next riding the mechanical bull ever so slowly as she masturbated, getting increasingly naked before drilling herself with a flesh colored dildo. While she over vocalized during the session and it was shot in a clumsy fashion, Andy self serving is a vision few can deny is worth more than a couple of glances. The abundance of lube helped it slide easily into her snatch, the ending inconclusive regarding whether she really got off or not.

Andy San Dimas with Seth

Scene Four: Dana DeArmond, playing the trampy bartender at Gilley’s, was up next with Otto Bauer, his masculine charms warming her up to a few sexual possibilities. He then guided her down to his cock, Dana doing what comes naturally by blowing him though her head being upside down made her large forehead veins bulge. The messy hummer was skillfully applied though, Dana undressing a bit and bending over the bar to take his cock vaginally with ease. Dana played the trailer trash slut role exceedingly well, Otto pounding her pussy hard until he let loose his load of population pudding onto her face and upper torso.

Scene Five: Mariah Madysinn, a busty blond wearing daisy duke shorts and a corset with her boots, was up next as she paraded herself on the small stage, the small crowd appreciative of MC Scotty Lyons and drunken bum Alec Knight, getting some head from her. She alternated between the men orally and they then took turns pounding her pussy, one guy always in her mouth while the other always tapping her snatch or ass though they did change things up by giving her a short DP. This led to then beating off their splooge on her chest, the smile on her face somewhat forced.

Scene Six: Andy San Dimas, up last naked in bed with her hero Seth Gamble, the romantic tryst had them kiss and her blow him, the two actively engaging in vaginal penetration once properly warmed up. He spanked her a little and she used dirty talk to excite him more, Andy’s active riding and taste testing leading to the ending dose of semen rubbed out to her face. Andy gave him some post coital head and the movie ended abruptly for the credits to roll.

Summary: This Ain’t Urban Cowboy XXX by director Otto Bauer for Hustler Video had little of the musical appeal or dancing that drew crowds to the original, as a parody I felt it needed something from both to work successfully. Andy San Dimas was decent in the leading role and the others gave little country western appeal but handled the mostly generic sex scenes with their usual skill so I rated it as a midweek, light Rent It. In short then, This Ain’t Urban Cowboy XXX was far from the worst quick knock off tribute porno I’ve seen in the last five years but it wasn’t much more than a string of loosely connected sex scenes with just enough feature elements to keep it in the category. Otto has made a number of sexually blistering titles in the past and some of his parody work is just short of inspired but this must have been made to pay the bills or something by comparison to those better efforts.