2008, 1:01 plus extras

Directed by Jim Powers

With: Deena Daniels, Tabitha James, dozens of unidentified men

Like life during the Middle Ages, "American Bukkake 37" is nasty, brutish and short. Comprising just two half-hour scenes, "AB37" is as minimalist as porn comes. In each scene a girl walks into a large, deserted room that looks like a warehouse or gymnasium, masturbates a little, then is suddenly surrounded by dozens of men pulling their puds in preparation for the director's go-ahead to shoot their cum all over the starlet's face. There is no handling or sucking of cocks by the girls, no touching of the girls by the jerkoffs, no eye contact, no dirty talk, no horny excitement.

Deena Daniels, the first girl up, is a slim, dark-haired cutie who seems to take a modicum of interest in what's happening. She manages to keep a smile on her face even when her long fake eyelashes get glued shut by jizz. She starts her scene by masturbating on a toilet bowl, then, when an edit reveals the assembled men, she sits on the floor and leans her head back against the commode. She doesn't intentionally swallow any cum and when the boys are all done, she simply rubs the sticky stuff all over her face and small chest.

Slender blonde Tabitha James is in more discomfort, at least that's my guess. After dildo-ing herself on a circular leather cushion/chair, she lies across the ottoman on her back and leans her head way back and upside down. Her body language says it all: arms stiff at her sides, eyes squeezed shut, lips shut tighter than the doors at Lehman Brothers. How these guys manage to get off in this grave situation is the biggest question regarding the whole affair.

                                                     THE DVD

Despite a poor main program, the "American Bukkake 37" DVD is not a total washout. It's redeemed by its extra features, chiefly a 20-minute look behind the scenes and no fewer than 15 trailers for other JM Productions discs. In the backstage seg, Deena Daniels poses for some nude photos before her scene, then, later, after she's covered in guy glaze, she says, "I'm getting a little bit grossed out" and "There had better be a fucking shower here." That's a bit of a buzz kill for the fantasizing viewer but at least it's a genuine display of emotion, which is what's missing during the rest of the robotic action. Tabitha James is seen being prepared for her scene by director Jim Powers and others, who are shocked and a little skeeved out when little Tabitha reveals a fresh tattoo of a frightening looking cat - on her pussy. Her labia minora form the cat's mouth. Yikes. Powers frets about hiding the tat during the girl's scene, and his creative solution is evident in the main program.

As for the anonymous cocksmen, there's a funny moment when a fat, grinning guy, apparently a veteran of some number of previous "American Bukkakes," says with pride to the camera, "The family's back, back for more," as he points to a few guys in line behind him. Kind of like giving blood every few months, I suppose.

The trailers -- all much hotter and more extreme than anything in the main show (foot fucking, pissing, slapping, cum guzzling) -- are for "Porn's Most Outrageous Outtakes 2," "Slave 01," "Lesbian Bukkake 12," "Gag Factor 28," "Liquid Gold 16," "Tough Love 15," "White Trash Whore 40," "Fuck Machines 3," "American Gokkun 7," "Reverse Bukkake 9," "Irritable Bowel Syndrome 4," "Overstuffed 6," "First Time Lesbians 9," "The Violation of Harmony" and "American Bukkake 36." It would have been nice if the extras menu offered a Play All option for these trailers; as it is, you have to click on each one and wait for the legalese to play out. If it weren't were those delays you could have a wanking good time with the extras alone.

The two scenes of the main feature and most of the trailers are presented in 16:9 widescreen. The sound is fine, though, again, not much is said in "BK37," except for the guys' unison shout of "Bukkake!" as they begin spreading their seed.

                                              THE LAST WORD

"American Bukkake 37," in which two girls take turns getting cum unloaded all over their faces and take no apparent joy from it, will satisfy only the most crimped sexual fantasy; had the girls shown some excitement or had there been more -- any -- interaction between the girls and the guys, this DVD could have rated higher. Fortunately, the disc's treasure-trove of trailers provides lots of stroking material to make up for the main show's dearth of same.