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X-Men XXX: An Axel Braun Parody

Vivid

Genre: Parody, Super Hero

Director: Axel Braun

Cast: Skin Diamond, Alec Knight, Allie Haze, Jeanie Marie Sullivan, Tom Byron, Andy San Dimas, J. Jay, Katie St. Ives, Billy Glide, Chanel Preston, Tommy Gunn
Non-sex roles: Mike Moz, AJ Stoan, Shylar Cobi

Length: 122:53 minutes

Date of Release: 7/29/2014

Extras: The first disc had a pop shot recap and some spam but thankfully, there was a second disc with much better extras. The extras disc started out with an 11:48 minute long Behind the Scenes feature (Tommy Gunn shaving for his role, Braun taking a more active role as director than in past flicks, Mike Moz deadpanning around), a 31:37 minute long Casting Call, leading into a non-sex version lasting all of 20:33 minutes (don’t expect much story), a photogallery, some trailers, the usual Vivid extras and spam included here too. It would have been nice to see extended sex scenes or even an extended storyline that made sense but the budgets just didn’t allow for quality extras like that, future endeavors unlikely to provide them too.

Condoms: None

Audio/Video Quality: X-Men XXX was presented in anamorphic widescreen as shot by credited director Axel Braun for Vivid. As expected, the director of photography was Eli Cross (handling videography with Braun, co-writer too), the reputed “brains behind the braun” on most of his better parodies, art direction was provided courtesy of Kylie Ireland and Andy Appleton, sound tech by Seth Cardigan, and costume design by Jeanne Jackson, the usual editing by Axel and his wife (who also handled the score), and special effects by Level 5 Post. While this was largely the same group of people associated with making other titles in the series, the overall look of the production was very good here, almost to the level of his earlier works with bigger budgets. The special effects were a bit limited again and there was still a company watermark on the lower right hand corner of the screen at all times for those keeping track. The aural qualities of the show were good in general, the 2.0 Dolby Digital stereo offering providing easily heard vocals and a score that worked well with the visual elements, the only thing missing was a “to be continued” at the end given the cliffhanger nature of the limited story elements.

Body of Review: Axel Braun directed a number of appealing superhero parodies at Vivid before he left, his latest released from the vaults today called X-Men XXX: An Axel Braun Parody. Those familiar with the porn versions of these flicks know that they tend to be really, really light on story and heavy on the performers having sex in costume. That means that Axel’s crew throws everything but the kitchen sink in to include as many comic characters as possible, the biggest selling point being how accurate the costumes are compared to the movie versions. So going into the movie, I was realistic not to expect much in the way of story, satisfied that I would see ladies like Allie Haze, Chanel Preston, Katie St. Ives, and Andy San Dimas going at it with various men in costume, no room for extended origins or character development allowed. This time, the concept seemed to pick aspects from various movie releases as much as anything from the comics, a hodge podge approach that didn’t cater to hardcore fans but gave everyone familiar with the characters something to appreciate.

The back cover described the movie like this: “It was just a matter of time until mutants got the porn parody treatment, courtesy of Axel Braun and Vivid Entertainment...and it was worth the wait! Wolverine, Rogue, Cyclops, Jean Grey, Storm, Colossus, Kitty Pryde and Polaris join forces with Professor X to defeat the villans led by Magneto, in yet another parody masterpiece bound to become an instant classic.” As expected, Tommy Gunn was great in his reprised role of Wolverine, Mike Moz was quite suitable as Professor X, and Tom Byron did a fine Magneto, the rest of the cast hired primarily for their sexual presence as best I could tell. Here’s a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used for those still interested:

Scene One: Skin “Storm” Diamond, portraying the well known thief with weather controlling abilities, was up first with moper Alec Knight, the gal working all the angles as a youthful survivor of personal tragedy. The downscaled marketplace served as their introduction place, the gal turning tricks in a tent for money. He offered her a hundred bucks and she accepted, kneeling down to slob his knob aggressively, providing decent eye contact with him before she reclined to spread her legs for the man. Her bald beaver satisfied him and he pounded away as she aurally encouraged him, more oral leading to them engaging in anal sex where she remained fairly passive until she mounted herself on top of him to impale her ass on his turgid member. The cowgirl variations led to him draining his dragon into her mouth for swallowing, some seductive post coital head leading to a confrontation where her powers came in handy.

Scene Two: Allie “Rogue” Haze, Jeanie Marie Sullivan, and Tom “Magneto” Byron, were up next as the latter two savored their victory at inducing Rogue into their Brotherhood. Her need for human touch was covered so she indulged herself on Tom’s big cock, Allie sucking him off like a champion before Jeanie joined them on the bed. All three wore some variation of the character costumes expected of the flick, Jeanie rubbing Allie’s juicy ass as the young lady continued to inhale Tom’s rod with her hand assisted hummer, the hand to gland friction keeping him rock hard as Jeanie took over just long enough to allow Allie to bend over for some vaginal loving. The ladies then engaged in some lesbian kissing and gash gobbling, Jeanie’s bald beaver actively riding Tom as well when it was her turn. Additional oral and vaginal sex led to Jeanie taking his wad of sperm to her face, Allie assisting by using her hand to squeeze out every last drop.

Scene Three: Andy San “Phoenix” Dimas, a lean redhead here whose powers were just starting to show as being amplified beyond human limits, was then up with J. “Cyclops” Jay, as she demonstrated her newfound abilities by keeping his optic blasts in check via her mind. He wore a traditional X-Men outfit while she was in one variation of the Phoenix outfit, the guy diving into her hairy pussy as she moaned and caressed his head. He didn’t look like he had much experience with a pussy by the way he went down on her but she sure showed a great deal of energy and enthusiasm slobbing his knob. She also gave good eye contact and was an active vaginal rider as she pushed back to meet his thrusts in doggy before bouncing aggressively in cowgirl variations (with taste testing). She then blew him to completion as his seed flew into her open mouth.

Scene Four: Katie St. Ives, playing a frisky phase shifting Kitty Pryde, was up next on the bed of Billy “Colossus” Glide, his ability to change his body into a super strong organic steel as well known as the character’s relationship in the early days of the “new” X-Men. As they were on the eve of a dangerous mission, she wanted to have a taste of life in case things went poorly, her outfit opened to reveal her yummy boobs as she knelt down to impress with a fun filled hummer. Her eye contact was superior and their chemistry appreciated, their relative differences in size comparable to their characters too. He reciprocated by devouring her hairy (but trimmed) snatch, Billy moving quickly to plow her pussy rapidly as she moaned loudly, additional vaginal positions and oral displayed as equally active courtesy of Katie’s love of cock. In the end, she took a sizable facial from the man, the movie even dedicated to the now deceased performer who passed away earlier this year.

Scene Five: Chanel “Polaris” Preston, wearing a green wig and showing a great deal of empathy for Tommy “Wolverine” Gunn, was up last as she whipped his rigid cock out of his costume, using her hand, mouth, and eye contact to suitably excite him during her blowjob. The slow music played in the background seemed a weird choice overall but Chanel was as great a cock sucker as ever, even if she left some green paint on his pecker thanks to her green lipstick. Tommy then power pounded her pussy in a multitude of positions, Chanel as active a rider as ever as she rode his dick quite well. The ending facial came all too soon though, Chanel licking him clean of semen, the plotted elements finishing things up on the slight side as if a sequel was shot at the same time.

Summary: X-Men XXX by director Axel Braun for Vivid will not disappoint those who have appreciated Axel’s previous titles in the superhero genre, the sex in costume antics supported by occasional nods to various incarnations of the popular characters along with a barebones story established well enough to allow for a sequel. As such, it seemed fair to rate it as Recommended or even better if you consider the weakness of other recent parody efforts by all the usual players. In short, X-Men XXX: An Axel Braun Parody was my favorite parody released by the director this year, any shortcomings balanced out by the inclusion of just enough meat on the bones worth of nods to source material to make it stand out so give it a look.