The Movie:

With my tax returns happily deposited many weeks ago, I wasn't eager to think about taxes again. Not to worry; the only correlation between anything on this disk and taxes is that they can both be tedious. Other than that, the title is a mystery.

This disc is a four-hour compilation of 20 unrelated scenes. It seemed like more. Each provides a title and the performers' names. After just the first few scenes, I stopped noting the titles because they were neither indicative of the action, nor necessary for finding the chapter.

The scene menu has good sized, motion thumbnails. For each scene, you can select the main action or just the pop shot. In fact I discovered only after finishing the disc that exactly two chapters are used per scene, the even-numbered chapters being for the scene opener and the odd-numbered ones taking you to the cum shot, so you could always skip ahead if -- I mean when -- it starts to drag. So for example, scene 4 begins on the DVD's chapter 8... scene 10 begins at chapter 20, and so on.

It is this easy searching which led me to give the disc a higher replay score than I gave the overall movie; when your favorite scenes are easy to find, you can essentially re-edit the movie to your liking.

Scene synopses:

Scene 1: Stephanie Trip, Randy Spears

Stephanie is having her pussy eaten and getting a fingerjob. Then she remains in her tight dress, while a naked Randy learns how deep her throat is -- pretty deep. While I enjoyed that, I was put off by her artificial tits, which had an odd hanging shape. Maybe that's what she was doing when she seemed to be feeling herself with her free hand -- hiding those scary tits. She does make nice gagging sounds, and she looks like fun. A minute later it's she who is receiving head. But despite her pleasant moans I was distracted again by misshapen boobs, this time standing up, with visible wrinkles.

Next she's riding him in reverse cowgirl and seems a little over-the-top in squeals. I wasn't buying it, or turned on. There's little dialogue. The scene is well-lit, if a bit harsh.

Her moans(on every inhale and echoing through the empty house) reminded me of a squeaking plastic dog burger. Nor did Randy's sounds have any variety, always sounding like a cross between a mumbling bear and the Addams family's Lurch with a chest cold. They do all the requisite positions, but with little visible passion. Neither actor seemed to really
need this, and appeared as though they could happily stop whenever the director yelled cut.

She smiled a lot. If my partner smiles that much, I'm not doing it right. He looks perpetually angry or grumpy. The action was slow and stop.

She did do some delicious things with her mouth and tongue, and after we came full circle back to the blow job, Mr. Spears came finally -- on her face. At last I was turned on, but I don't know whether it's the way she expelled cum
out onto her chin and picked off strings to eat, or that the 23 minutes of torture was over.

Scene 2: Serenity, Randy Spears

Looking hot in sweat pants and jacket doesn't come easily to every actress, but Serenity manages, sitting on Randy's lap and getting her tits felt in the opening scene. Though the boobs look fake later in the scene, they were much more natural looking than the pair in scene one. And Randy's looking younger, with a fuller head of hair. She looks great on her knees stretching that shiny fabric across her ass. I enjoyed a freeze frame of that for a few moments. The view from his angle is equally sweet, with Serenity's locks resting across his chest while she impales herself
on Randy's Spear. This scene works, even with the generic syntho-music. Though perhaps inappropriate, it was unoffensive. I like her innocent face and sweet smile. I loved her moans and bouncing boobs. Randy's enthusiasm didn't seem to match my own, but her sounds and passion seemed genuine, and were exciting after that first scene. Too bad this scene was much shorter than the first.

Scene 3: Stormy Daniels, Van Damage

A couple sit down with popcorn and the movie choices he's brought home. The man is in doctor garb (stethoscope still around his neck) and the woman in jeans and a top that hides for the moment, more fake boobs! They fool around on the couch for a while -- nothing particularly hot. They service each other orally as unobtrusive music plays. All these scenes sound like they take place in a bathroom, with its inherent reverb, rather than a nice warm home. Again, the sex is lackluster. As an example, when he pulls out of her briefly, her face barely changes, as if she doesn't miss it. It ends with a mediocre money shot to her face.

Scene 4: Micky Lynn, Tony Tedeschi

Real boobs! Another brightly lit and fancy living room. The scene starts on another couch with another oral exchange. In one of the few turn ons since the disk began, he asks, "you like it when I fuck your mouth with that fat cock?" She nods, and hums "mhm" with
sincerity, all the while looking up at him. Fast music -- like you might expect in a NASCAR
documentary -- plays in the distant background. But at least the performers both seem into the
sex in this scene. An edit right in the middle of the ending facial made me wonder what happened.

Scene 5: Candy Manson, Tommy Gunn

A couple is fucking while a guy in an adjoining room (Randy Spears) gets annoyed. No music, but more ugly tits. They look like duckpin bowling balls hanging in a plastic bag. If you like big at the expense of pretty, here's another great performer for you. (What are these women and these industry geniuses thinking?) Otherwise, utterly boring. He comes on her bowling b-- I mean titties and then suddenly blurts out, "there ya go...porn star... check me out. I got a little hot chick over here...!" The nonsensical monologue fades out quickly, but could have been excised
completely, and is illustrative of the slapped together and aimless feel of this disc.

Scene 6: Azlea Antistia, John Decker

As if to save me the anticipation, more bloated, and wrinkly boobs are visible right away. Tattoos as well. The last girl had a pussy ring; are there any natural girls in porn? But she does have an interesting move... facing away from him, she slides down his front and grinds her head into his pants before John (who reminds me in brief flashes of Matt Damon) even has his tie off. Suddenly there's a videographer in the room saying he's recording them "for posterity." What? I'm thinking, "Who are you?" The couple say nothing to him.

Despite her nice squirming and facial expressions, the scene manages to make pussy eating look tedious. I did enjoy watching her short, pretty brown hair and pretty face, bobbing on his cock -- but not enough to save the scene. The music, which sounds like it belongs in a chase scene, is at or above the volume of her sometimes delicious grunts, which is a shame. The brief passion ends with John coating Azlea's boobs.

Scene 7: Mai Tran, Randy Spears (again?)

Yes, they're fake! But her cute face, long black hair and spread legs -- in miniskirt and
unbuttoned white top -- is an instant turn on, if you like Asians. When later, she says, "don't tease me, just fuck me" it occurred to me that one reason this disc is so passionless is that there's precious little of that dirty talk.

Scene 8: Devon Michaels, Brad Armstrong

Another elaborate interior, this time lit and decorated a bit on the goth side. But the
classical music is refreshing and (finally) appropriate -- while it lasts.

A blowjob with a twist... He pours a few drops of wine on his dick as she's servicing him.

Scene 9: Stephanie Swift (ooh, pretty), Anthony Crane

Great opener... she's on her knees in front of his silk boxers and RIPS them open. She's fully clothed in a pin-stripe suit and looking very professional... well, other than that schlong in her mouth.

But what the...? We suddenly get a look at the guy's face, and it's hidden behind a mask a'la
Silence of the Lambs. One Anthony Hopkins-like gesture later, and the parody is obvious. We then realize he's in a straitjacket, and -- delightfully -- has no control over the oral sex he's receiving. Is this pretty woman supposed to be Clarice? A longer shot reveals his cell and the fact that he's naked from the waist down with legs slightly apart. It's strange, but quite sexy.

He asks if she learned this skill in the FBI Academy (so yes, on Clarice). The parody isn't bad, but I'm more focused on the sudden excitement this scene provokes. I want to see more... more of this pretty brunette with the tight hairdo slobbering on this prisoner's cock. It's good head -- very good head -- and I can't help imagining what a cruel and delicious tease it would be if she were wearing the mouth guard. To lose access to that tongue and those lips -- or to be so close yet never have it -- would be almost painful. (I also can't help wondering what the original movie was named, in porn style...Silence
of the Gams?... Hannibal Licked Her?).

Next she's riding his penis, he still unable to touch her. Except for a couple, "yes Dr."s, she has said nothing to this point, and he has done his Hannibal impression throughout. She's still half wearing her jacket as she bounces; I guess it's a reminder to us that she's an FBI professional. Some dialogue that follows -- unimportant as it is -- is annoyingly obscured by new age music. The scene dissolves to another in which the doctor's hands are free, and he's doggy-styling her, though oddly he chooses to leave the mask on. In my opinion, he doesn't fuck with the urgency you'd expect from a prisoner. Sliding back into the style of the rest of the disk, there's little passion. Stephanie does it better and is
believable. She also looks cute on her elbows and knees, as her small natural titties and hard nipples sway. But they both start to seem a little bored in the moments before the pop shot.

I rewound to the beginning where she's fully dressed and giving a delicious blow job, before taking a reviewers break.

Scene 10: Jezebelle Bond, Tommy Gunn

The scene opens with nice music, though it's more appropriate for relaxation tape or a documentary about space. It makes the sex seems somehow spooky or wrong, as a splayed Jezebelle is being orally serviced. I like that several of these clips have opened with the female getting first service.

Oh no -- Randy Spears again. Randy and his girlfriend are shooting something with their digital camera. Though I guess we're supposed to assume they are secretly recording the other couple fucking, there's no indication of that visually, or in the (very) sparse dialogue. The voyeurs appear to be in bright daylight while the watched seem very much in shadows -- which could suggest a dark alley or just poor continuity. Only a brick wall, common to both shots suggests a correlation. The voyeur couple isn't even excited. They're smiling to each other as if watching their toddler on the playground. Jezebelle is passionate, though, and the sex is a turn on. Is it indoors or out? There's a couch, but also bricks, a metal door, and a pole. Maybe this is a new decorating trend I haven't heard about. Oh did I mention she's wearing a red wig? The scene
fades just after Tommy pops on her mouth, and the voyeur couple is just starting to look turned on.

Scene 11: Mili, Max Cortes

The opener is an instant turn on, as Mili sits in a white shirt, dark skirt and heels, and is being felt up by a kneeling Max. She's cute, her boobs are natural, and her legs are spread (albeit for no apparent reason) giving us a nice view of her panties. Another nondescript location. For a change, the guy is making noise and the girl is silent. Of course, her mouth is full... and I'd be making noise too. Even while giving head she sits, or half kneels, with her legs spread, a turn on. Finally, the panties come aside, a condom goes on and the cock goes in. Though her passion is underwhelming, her natural good looks make it one of the few watchable scenes on the disk so far.

Scene 12: Shy Love, Joey Ray

This segment opens with a girl standing at a telescope in a "typical" sunny beautiful, affluent neighborhood like Bel-Air or Beverly Hills, peeping at one of her neighbors down the hill. She spots a couple having sex in front of a big window (where else?), and we then cut to that action. The girl is either having a great time or is one of those porn actresses who thinks you need to squeal at an ever-higher pitch on each thrust...that "always near orgasm" pitch. Personally I find it annoying; both the sound and the likely insincerity. On the other hand, her body language -- clawing at the blanket, quickly reinserting the cock when it popped out, and nice thrusting of her own -- do look good and genuine. At the end, both partners stand up, smile and wave to the voyeur, who then acts surprised that she was spotted on her balcony in the broad daylight with a large telescope. "I'm so busted," she says to herself. "And I'm so bored," I say to myself.

What might have made this scene hot is if telescope-girl got so horny that she started touching herself right out in public. But she seemed about as turned on as I was. Like many of the other scenes on this disc, the guys have plenty of muscle, the girls have plenty of curves, and there's a nice variety of shots and positions. But it generally seems too staged.

Scene 13: Serenity, Colt Steele

Serenity is getting her feet and then pussy licked outdoors. It could, for all I can tell, be the same place where the previous scene's voyeur was standing, except that there's now a tennis net. I must say this is a good example of a typical plus about this disc... there's very little attempt to show a story, which would probably result in a lame concoction anyway; they just get right to the sex. Next in this scene she's giving Colt head, then they're fucking. The moans are
overdubbed, most likely because the wind is obviously strong, making good live sound a challenge. If only her lips were in sync with the sounds -- being closed, for example, as we hear, "oh!"

Also the scene is a bit too long... leaning on a tennis net is hot for a quickie, but hardly
comfortable for the extended intercourse they have.

Scene 14: Mika Tan, Chris Cannon

Mika is a dominatrix. Though clearly Asian, she's trying to pull off a German accent when talking to her slave. Though there's nothing impossible about this, it adds nothing to the eroticism, and I found it distracting. For a dominatrix, she's also a bit too soft on him in my opinion... she's giving great head, albeit with the purpose of getting him ready "to serve her needs." One nice touch: she tests his hardness by picking it up and making it slap against his belly. She also raises her pussy off his dick to tease him. Though still mild for a dominant woman, that's more like it. Although her tits are probably as fake as most of the others, and the German is rather silly, her cock riding is hot and her face so cute that I don't mind. She is soon on her back
looking delicious -- though again not dominant -- as her slave rams his cock into her, holding her ankle as she pulls on his chest harness and talks dirty. Mika is very playful in this scene, and despite the drawbacks it is a much-needed infusion of energy into the disk. He occasionally pulls out and slaps his own cock, impressing his mistress, who also strikes it with her leather implement a few times. Seeing Mika poured into a leather corset and long leather gloves, adds spice to the action -- maybe the best of the disk. The pop shot on the face seems out of place for fem-dom, but I liked this scene.

Scene 15: Inari Vachs, Michael J. Cox

During the opener of this scene. I found myself thinking about what I need to do to get ready for work. That's probably not a great indicator of erotic value. But she gives a slobbering blow job, that, while repulsive in one way, is hot in another. (Just don't behave like this at the dinner table.) His expression shows he's clearly enjoying it. But it's quickly over and they're fucking. Many guys like a noisy girl during sex. It's exciting to hear how much she likes your cock, but this hyperventilating squeak some actresses do is not a turn on because it seems put on.

But she does talk dirty, unlike the actors in many other scenes.

Scene 16: Syren, Marcos Leon

Syren introduces herself to the viewer, asking us to stay and watch. OK. She reclines in fishnet stockings with spread legs and plays with her tits, then pussy with fingers and a dildo. Suddenly there's a man under her, licking her breasts and then her pussy. She tells him to just tease it. I love that her shoes and stockings and satin panties are still on at this point. And I love her gentle voice which she uses for a little dirty talk, and her natural looking titties. She holds the panties aside to give his tongue access, and I find myself suddenly wondering, "when did this
disc get good?" She looks into the camera (after having ignored us for a while) and whispers, "his tongue feels so good." She gets off his face and lays back again, smiling as she gently calls him a big tease and telling him to eat her pussy. The expressions on her cute Asian face look very genuine, there is no goofy music, no fake moans. This scene was hot.

As she is getting finger banged she stares right into his eyes -- unusual for the performers on this disc -- and whispers (really; I had to turn it way up) that she feels like such a slut. There's even a guilty look on her face. She asks him to call her a slut with great anticipation in her eyes. That's so sexy. She reacts well when he does, and between her sweet voice and face, her slut-spread legs, her obvious passion and those ever-present satin panties, I'm a goner. Soon
she is much louder, moaning over Marcos' finger banging, unable to take her eyes off the invading fingers. When he pauses for just a second she starts humping his hand; her urgency is so sexy.

Then she gives him a deep, beautiful slow slurping blow job. A passionate and beautiful reverse cowgirl (with Syren masturbating herself), and a doggy style fuck follows. I admit her rapid panting does get annoying at times, and the scene does start to drag. But then her natural boobs look nothing short of beautiful as she's being pounded in a spoons position, legs still spread wide. At the end she's looking into the camera (strangely), asking "are you ready to come?" "Do it" she adds..."come all over my mouth." Her partner gives her a nice coating, and she looks beautiful with a glob of jizz under her right eye.

Scene 17: Kimberly Kane, Kris Slater

Behind foggy car windows, there's a blow job in progress. The action is hot, and the only music is coming over the car radio. After just a few minutes she removes her mouth and watches the cum fly. Short and sweet.

Scene 18: Serenity, Mickey G.

This couple is making out in a ritzy bathroom, starting with his hand down the back of her sexy dress, and followed by a blow job, cunnilingus, and fucking in a giant bathtub. The action was a bit slow, and the background music, annoying. But Serenity's moans and face are nice.

Scene 19: Roxy Deville, Talon

A man is asleep in bed as a porno plays on the TV. He wakes up to see a good blow job, and we are taken into the scene he is watching. The action is fast, with she giving lots of hand and head, and he fucking her face at least once rather than just being passive. She gags briefly on his cock. Then she rides it cowgirl, just as fast and hard, often letting her lower body do most of the work, which looks very sexy. He spanks her ass during some of her ride. She genuinely seems to be trying to get off. In doggy style she sighs approvingly when he pulls her hair. Even in this passive position she's working it, as this well-built guy slams her. Positions change a few times, without missing a beat (unfortunately) in the annoying music track. In her first moment of
passivity, she receives his load on her face. A very brief (and odd) shot of the semi-awake man watching TV ends the scene. He might at least be beating off, but instead seems to be a bored observer.

Scene 20: Jasper, Alex Sanders

A girl is "bathing" in about 3 inches of water and says (to herself) that it feels good after a long day on that airplane. Unless they like silicone, her boobs are harder than male viewers cocks will be. A guy suddenly shows up in her bathroom -- to her minimal surprise -- and says he's got her cornered, and has been wanting to fuck her since they got off the plane. Here is a missed opportunity... it would be so hot if his stated pent-up desire overwhelmed him at the sight of her naked body, and he had to take her. But instead he teases her (her words) by granting her mouth only a few samples of his cock, still outside the shower. When he "lets" her have it all, the
annoying music begins. Then, in an edit seemingly calculated to put a look of bafflement on my face, we suddenly see a couple in a restaurant or bar. The guy is clowning with a pair of utensils, making them like kicking legs, dancing to a tune he is humming, while the woman giggles. Either they are stoned or I am... or the editor was. After that very brief, and bizarre non sequitur, it's back to the blow job in the tub. Not quite enough strangeness? During the unremarkable blow job scene, immersed in the overly loud disco rock backwash, you can hear the Emperor from Star Wars saying, "as evil minded as Vader." I had to rewind several times to confirm that I did not imagine this.

Just after the music changes to a rather nice, albeit repetitive rock beat, they proceed to a doggy style fucking, where those plastic tits can't hurt anybody, and the action is suddenly pretty hot. Alex' curly blond locks look longer than Jasper's, at least since hers are tied back. A switch to missionary position
begs the question, "why don't they get into a nice soft bed?" This has gone way beyond a quickie, and I'd be pretty uncomfortable in either his or her position on that hard tub seat. But nice (and admirably brief) close-ups show the pussy is soft and the cock is hard. I guess that's all that matters. In what is probably the scene's best moment, she yells, "God I love fucking you" in a genuine sounding way. Sexy. They thank each other sweetly, and "H and R Cock" is finally over... sweetly.

The end titles show the dates of release of the movies which the scenes were taken from. They
range from 1994 to 2006.

Video:

The transfer quality seemed excellent to me. I had no issues with the appearance of the video.

Audio:

The sound quality is excellent, though as I pointed out above, there are many places where I'd rather not have music, or would rather have different music, or quieter music that doesn't obscure the voices! It's a typical porn problem, sadly.

Extras:

-- DVD-ROM materials... although all the other extras are accessible on my computer's DVD drive, I was unable to view anything beyond the index to this section. The segments are: Wicked company profile; All of the Wicked Award Winners and Nominations; Direct Links to the Wicked Website; and Wicked's Desktop Backgrounds. The cursor arrow turned to a pointing finger only over the "DVD Extras" link which returns you to the main "extras" menu. This was the case whether I tried InterVideo's WinDVD or Windows Media Player.

However, I was able to dig into the file folders and find three bitmap images in the 'wallpaper' folder. They were three different resolutions of the same image -- six of Wicked's actresses. In that picture, only Kaylani Lei (gorgeous) held much interest for me. And when I found the wickedweb.html file, all of the links (named above) took me to the
related web pages.

-- Wicked DVD catalog... you select a year and are presented with front cover images and titles only (not terribly useful unless one of these is enough to sell you on the movie).

-- more adult fun... explicit commercials for phone sex and text chat services. A concentrated collage of squirms, squeals and squirts. Some shots are better than some of the scenes in the main desk, if you can tolerate the purring and inane voiceovers. (In one, a young girl says, "if your thing is wrapped, then let's chat." No unsafe texting with her!... condoms are a must. Jeez, were the copy writers just desperate to make a rhyme?).

For jizz junkies, there's a "pop shot recap." Most of the money shots are on the girl's face, a few on tits, crotch, or belly, and even one on the guy's chest. Porn needs to be more creative. How about just one inside her, with proof in the condom, or leaking out of her? As much as I like facials, there are other ways to end a scene, and to this method is disproportionately used.

Note: I've been aware that I haven't commented much on the male performers' appearances. It's not that I don't care what they look like -- and most of the guys in this video are handsome and muscular -- but that as a heterosexual male, it's not foremost on my mind. Nor do I consider myself a great judge of male appearance. But heterosexual females will be satisfied, I think.

Final Thoughts:

Despite the title, and the cover shot of Mika Tan holding an envelope which says "My refund," what any of this video compilation has to do with taxes can be neither deduced... or deducted (sorry).

The catch-line is "Because sex can be so taxing." That's often how this disk makes it look. After a few of the scenes I felt like I'd been through an audit. If the disk as a whole represents my income, and I liked only a third of the scenes, I was "taxed" at a pretty high rate. Thankfully I did get some "return."

OK, no more tax analogies, I promise.

Overall, it's a collection of unrelated, well-lit, well-shot scenes of well-dressed plastic people having boring sex-by-the-numbers, in gorgeous interiors with stupid music. Superficiality on parade. And with four hours, lots of it.

There's a commendably nice variety of shots, compared to more amateurish porn, which tends to stay way too long on genital close-ups.

This disc mimics sex in much the same way daytime serials mimic life -- with quality sound and lighting but little believable, heartfelt emotion. Except for half a dozen exciting scenes, I would have said "skip it."