FIRST THINGS FIRST

Here's a porn flick with a plot. You might say, "Porn with a plot? Why bother?" And you would have a valid question. Offhand, I can think of few—if any—porn films that have successful plots. The primary reason is that porn actors are atrocious actors. They can only resort to mockingly self-conscious and wooden performances as they mouth their laughable dialog. Allure is no exception. The story concerns a jewel thief (Alex Sanders) who gets a job as a security dude for a museum. It seems a former partner in crime, Stacy Valentine, is angling for gems and intends to steal them from under Alex's nose. This is all, of course, a bunch of nonsense strung together around the requisite sex. So let's take a look at whether the film delivers on its promise of wet flesh and insertions and moans and groans and splatters of man-juice.

SCENE 1

This scene finds Alex and Stacy getting it on before they become estranged. Stacy is a fake-buxom blonde who nevertheless delivers an entertaining scene. I could do without Alex, one of my least favorite porn performers. His long blonde mane and dopey surfer-boy face are a turn-off for me. Anyhoo, the sex is pretty good, focusing on the usual trade-offs of oral, then moving to both vaginal and anal, followed by jets of white fluid down Stacy's throat. The camerawork here seemed somewhat awkward—too zoomed in at some points, or angled slightly wrong. Grade: B-

SCENE 2

Sidnee Coxx, another bleached and fake blue-movie starlet, takes on Jonathan Morgan in an office setting. We go from cunny-lapping to fleshy lollipop licking to a vaginal romp atop the desk. Pretty average scene. And again, some awkward camera movements, including extreme and oddly framed close-ups and actual jostling of the camera itself. Grade: C

SCENE 3

Ah, the lesbian scene. My personal favorite kind of sex scene. Why do guys love the idea of lesbian sex? As Paul Reiser once said, "I agree with both of them." Here, Stacy and Sidnee get it on, also in an office setting. Unfortunately, the lighting is dim. I think the director was going for "arty," but it's mostly just "frustrating." The girls slide their tongues along each other's glistening vaginas and then get down to business with a very entertaining and thought-provoking 69 on the desk. As much as I liked this scene, it didn't feel quite natural enough to win a top grade. Grade: B+

SCENE 4

Alexandra Silk, my favorite actress in the flick, is an enthusiastic brunette with natural breasts. She's got a little razorburn, and she ain't perfect, but her performance makes up for it. She performs a threesome with Mickey G. and Alex. She performs oral on both, then lets each dude have a turn at her vagina. A double penetration follows. It's an okay scene in terms of the girl, but the presence of two guys—and the dreaded DP—bring this one down. Plus, what's with the practice of spitting into a girl's snatch? What's that about? Come on, be nice. Grade: B-

SCENE 5

In the final scene, Mickey G. has his way with the movie's third interchangeable bleached blonde, Lexi Eriksson. I would have to say that Lexi is my favorite of the interchangeable bleached blondes, though, because she at least has a natural set of breasts. The two performers exchange oral favors, and then engage in a little doggy and missionary. It's a pretty good scene, if lacking in any real energy, which could be said of the entire film. Grade: B-

AUDIO/VIDEO

The full-frame presentation is typical of modern straight-to-video porn: hard-edged and digitally harsh but undeniably clear, with colors that are accurate and detail that is exemplary. Flesh glistens appropriately, and vulval tones are just the right shade of pink. The audio is clear, giving the moans and screams a natural tone. The music is typically ludicrous but comes across fully.

EXTRAS

You get a Photo Gallery, Star Biographies for Stacy Valentine, Alexandra Silk, Sindee Coxx, Jonathan Morgan, and Mickey G, and Trailers for Vengeance, Knockout, Pornogothic, The Kissing Game, Double Feature, Bride of Double Feature, Working Girl, Satyr, Flashpoint, Sex Safari, Hell on Heels, and Dream Quest. There's also a bunch of uninteresting Wicked extras that promote the company.