Freshman Fantasies is a production from Professor Mike. Mike's modus operandi in this film is to ask various women what turns them on and discuss their sexual fantasies. He then proceeds to attempt to make their dreams come true. Let's see how he does.

Hungarian Says What?

A thoroughly uninterested-seeming Hungarian girl named Sylvia with dyed-red hair is interrogated by Professor Mike next to an outdoor pool, as a prelude to a sexual encounter. The questions are inane, but they finally arrive at Sylvia's fantasy—to have anal sex. Uh-huh. Finally, Mike asks her to strip, and things start getting interesting. She's a gorgeous woman with an all-over tan and a nice body. She's shaved. She starts playing with herself and moaning—speaking the universal language of staged arousal. Then, the action moves indoors, onto a fluffy red blanket in front of a roaring fire. A dude named Vince Voyeur immediately starts licking her attractively shaved cunny, and she just lies there, moaning softly. Generally, I don't like to see porn actresses so immobile, but somehow this is a genuinely arousing scene. Maybe it's the lighting, maybe it's the convincing expression on her face, maybe it's the matter-of-fact sex and the quiet intensity, but this scene, and its participants, impressed me. The girl is much more interesting during the sex act than she is being questioned. The action moves to a nice 69, then to vaginal and anal positions. Grade: A-

First Time Is the Last Time

A nervous blonde named Cassie smokes a doobie as she's questioned. She's a 20-year-old and really looks like a naïve college chick. She's soon pleasuring herself, and we get foreshadowed images of the scene that will follow. What's her fantasy? To have sex for the first time—filmed or otherwise. Uh-huh. Then, Vince Voyeur arrives, and he and Cassie are all over each other. She's more vocal than the Hungarian girl and seems to really get into her scene. At this point, I'm really beginning to enjoy this DVD. There's an honesty to the scenes that I rarely see. The sex seems real and voyeuristic—a real turn-on. This scene starts with cunnilingus and goes to a couch-side blowjob. Unfortunately, she's not a dynamic cocksucker. Then, a long missionary fuck begins on the couch. I enjoyed the sway of her natural breasts. Then, some reverse-cowgirl and some doggy-style, and he comes on her face. Grade: A-

Rikka Phone Home

This scene starts with Professor Mike making oatmeal for another Hungarian girl, this one named Rikka. She eats, then Mike calls Alex Sanders (one of my least favorite porn performers) for some phone sex. She strips while they speak nonsensical dirty talk. Then she calls her boyfriend in Budapest to engage in more phone sex. Then Alex arrives and fucks her at the table while she supposedly continues to talk to her boyfriend. So, see, they have to be very quiet. Alex eats her at the table and sticks his thumb in her anus. Things proceed to blowjob, cowgirl, doggy-style in the ass, reverse-cowgirl in the ass, and then he comes on her face as the phone is still at her ear. This scene was kind of repellent, with unattractive performers. Too bad. Grade: C-

Freeze It Then Please It

Professor Mike walks through a town, looking for Shelbee Myne. When he finds her, we see that she's a very attractive 24-year-old blonde, but the lighting is dim and shadowy. She starts masturbating on an office chair, and it's very entertaining to watch her. We start getting flash-forward images of a sex scene in the snow. Finally, we see that scene in full, as Shelbee's fantasy of sex on a snow-covered mountain comes true. A long-haired snowboarder named Nick East makes it happen right there on a slope. He strips her and starts eating her as she stands. I love outdoor scenes, and this one satisfies. But then, oh! She's got this huge ugly tattoo above her ass. Damn! Well, he eats her from behind, then she blows him. Soon, he's giving it to her from behind, and her face—right in the foreground—looks red and chafed. Then she's on her back, getting some missionary, and someone's throwing snowballs at her. It's a pretty fun scene, but they just look cold. Grade: B

Won't You Be My Stalker?

A cute 20-year-old brunette named Brooke Sheelds walks into Professor Mike's warehouse and describes her fantasy of, basically, being stalked and raped. Hmm. She strips and masturbates while images foreshadow the rape. Okay, I'm not into this kinda thing. Plus, the lighting is poor. The sequence of positions she engages in with Alec Metro are just like the others, except they contain a staged brutality. The performers assure us at the end that they haven't been advocating rape, but it's still an unpleasant scene, and a terrible way to end the DVD. Grade: D

AUDIO/VIDEO QUALITY

The full-frame image suffers from artifacting and poor lighting. The image is overly harsh, and skin tones are sometimes horrific. Colors seem washed out. Audio is clear.

EXTRAS

Hilariously, you get a feature called Photos that you can step through and see stills from the film, and you also get a feature called Slide Show that shows the exact same stills but goes through them automatically. I cracked up and the uselessness of two essentially identical features. I guess you can choose Slide Show if you want to keep your hands free for furtive endeavors.