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The Newlywed Game XXX

Vivid Entertainment

Genre: Parody

Director/Writer: Hank Hoffman

Cast: Abby Cross, Danny Wilde, Adrianna Luna, Tyler Nixon, Samantha Ryan, Seth Gamble, Penny Pax, Prince Yahshua, Steven St. Croix
Non-sex role: “Martha Washington” as the wardrobe girl, Shylar Cobi

Length: 100:25 minutes

Date of Production: 8/7/2013 (release date)

Extras: The first extra was an unrelated bonus scene that was previously released, starring Adrianna Luna and Nacho Vidal. It lasted 15:27 minutes and was already underway when it started here, still serving as a good look at the original action for those interested. A 23:58 minute long Behind the Scenes feature came next, Shylar Cobi mugging for the camera before the cast and crew were interviewed. Then came a pop shot recap, some trailers, a photogallery, the usual Vivid extras and offer as well as spam.

Condoms: None

Audio/Video Quality: The Newlywed Game XXX was presented in anamorphic widescreen as shot by director Hank Hoffman for Vivid Entertainment. While Shylar Cobi wore many hats as his assistant, the credits listed the editor and music score handler as Jack Freedom with Drew Rose as the Art Director, others assisting as needed. I thought a lot of work went into making the set look as realistic as possible and the game show dynamic was nicely done, the manner in which the sexual interludes were woven into the production working for me quite well. The camera work was solid and the lighting helped make this one stand out more than a little bit, the editing and color tones as accurate as expected. There was a company watermark on the lower right hand corner of the screen but it really did not catch my attention much. The aural components of the movie were equally well handled as the vocals could be clearly heard, the score was exceptionally close to the original as I remember it, and the ambient noises fit in as well.

Body of Review: Hank Hoffman has provided some great BTS footage for Vivid Entertainment over the years, the man groomed as a director some years back. While he was only credited with around a dozen titles, he showed potential which is why I’m glad to announce his return at the helm with a parody called The Newlywed Game XXX. The original source material might seem tame by today’s standards or reality television but back in the day (the show running off and on from the 60’s through the 90’s as I recall), open discussion of sexual topics on broadcast television was pretty risqué. The show was a game show where newlyweds would compete against other couples by answering questions centering on their sex lives (for the most part). The knowledge of one’s partner would gain points and prizes, the humor brought forth by some of the goofiest answers as well as host Bob Eubanks milking the audience for everything it was worth. I admit to having watched the show a lot over the years and this parody did a superb job of mirroring the show’s dynamics, a big nod going to Steven St. Croix for providing the perfect parody of the host. The ladies included Adrianna Luna, Penny Pax, Abby Cross, and Samantha Ryan, that it was set in the 70’s adding some topical amusement younger audiences might not get. The back cover described the movie like this: “When you're a failed actor but a popular game show host, and your show features groovy couples talking about their sex lives, anything can happen. And on this particular day, it all did. Watch Bob have group sex with four female contestants! Watch Penny Pax have a sizzling interracial scene with Prince Yashua! And then watch Adrianna Luna and Tyler Nixon in a backstage tryst that'll fry an applause sign! It's all right here in The Newlywed Game XXX...straight from the 70's and into your pants!” Here’s a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used for those still interested:

Scene One: Abby Cross, the hippy lovechild seen on the far left side of the front cover, was up first in a very truncated scene involving her blowing Danny Wilde. Her panty covered bottom was high in the air as she slobbed his knob, the gal aggressively working his pecker in a few clips interspersed with the feature material. She finished him off by jerking out his genetic juice all over her face, the gal crawling out of his booth to an applause but it was too short for my tastes.

Scene Two: Adrianna Luna, the sexy Asian hotty in red seen standing next to the host on the cover, was up next on a black couch as she fussed at Tyler Nixon for flirting with another gal before the show. Steven forced them to kiss and make up, their mugging and pawing causing him to leave them to get better acquainted. She tore off her attire to jump on top of him, her old fashion bikini undies following suit as Tyler sucked her boobs and grabbed her juicy ass. She moved around into a 69 position where he gobbled her gash as she inhaled his rod, some active vaginal riding and taste testing giving this scene some replay value. A few more vaginal positions led to him tossing out a modest nut of population pudding all over her torso and tits, Adrianna scooping some up to taste as she lounged with her bald beaver spread nicely.

Scene Three: Samantha Ryan, the lean gal in the colorful dress to the right of Steven on the cover, was up next dragging Seth Gamble behind the set to do him. They kissed and she dropped down to blow him, her hand assisted hummer and great eye contact leading her to vaginally mount him while still wearing her black bikini undies. She sported a highly trimmed bush and tore off her panties after the first position, kissing Seth before going down on him repeatedly and letting him inside of her snatch in additional positions. While they seemed to have no chemistry together, it was not a bad tryst given her active nature, the gal squirting a bit as he fingered her. They ended it with some penetration, Seth pulling out to release his wad of spunk all over her torso, Samantha tasting it before they gathered their clothing to return to the show.

Scene Four: Penny Pax, the blond on the far right side of the cast picture on the cover, was up next without her trademark glasses as she embraced Prince Yahshua. He wore an afro as a sign of the times and her outfit was reminiscent of a stewardess of the times, the pair kissing and caressing each other before he pulled out her tits to suck. Penny then dropped down to worship his growing bulge of a boner with her mouth, slowly taking increasing amounts of his turgid cock into her mouth. She continued to strip off her attire as she inhaled his rod too, her skimpy panties barely holding her perky little ass in as her boobs swayed back and forth. Once her panties were taken off, Prince felt up her pale white ass and took off her bra, his cock plowing her shaven snatch before tapping her ass as she bounced on top of the erection. They continued with more anal positions and taste testing, Penny’s eye contact enhancing the final product and his wad of splooge deposited on her face and in her mouth.

Scene Five: Abby Cross, Samantha Ryan, Adrianna Luna, and Penny Pax, then teamed up to fulfill their fantasies of doing game show host Steven St. Croix. The ladies blew him in turns, some pairing off while waiting their turns for his cock. He ate Samantha’s pussy while Penny and Abby did Adrianna, the trio of beauties breaking up to get some cock as the ladies continually switched partners on the show floor. There was gash gobbling, ass eating, cock sucking and a lot of vaginal riding with taste testing, the ladies even fingering each other as part of the lengthy tryst. Abby was content caressing his cock and blowing him briefly when not doing the other ladies, her shapely ass looking great as Steven glazed it with ball batter when he was through boning what appeared to be her pussy for a very brief time. Adrianna’s ass was beside hers and looking just as fetching too, Penny and Samantha cleaning up as much of the spew as they could with their tongues and sharing it.

Bonus Scene: Sweet and Natural: Adrianna Luna, an exotic and sexy young newcomer with long black hair, was up next as she followed the formula on a bed in her white top and thong. The slow approach was followed again in spades too, her motions giving fans a lot of time to fantasize about her before none other than Nacho Vidal jumped in to eat her out (and finger her). She gave some fine oral as well and seemed to really hit it off with the foreign bred fuck machine, her throating skills and active vaginal positions enhanced by her cries of pleasure. It ended when he beat off a load of spunk all over her ass crack, the smile on her face priceless as a result.

Summary: The Newlywed Game XXX by director Hank Hoffman for Vivid Entertainment was a case where the feature elements were vastly superior to the sexual elements, Steven St. Croix bringing it home time and again with his offbeat mugging, humorous quips, and sexual stamina in the ending reverse gang bang. Still, the technical qualities, the overall feel of the show, and the entertainment value merited a strong Recommended from me, a few of the trysts bringing it down a notch but the show still beating almost everything I’ve seen from the myriad of wannabe parody makers in the field. In short, The Newlywed Game XXX proved that director Hank Hoffman still has what it takes to give fans what they want and Steven St. Croix rightfully shined in the role of the perverted game show host, a little tweaking of the specifics would have caused an upgrade in rating overall so check it out.