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The Lone Ranger XXX: An Exquisite Films Parody

Exquisite/Paradox Pictures

Genre: Parody

Director: Jordan Septo

Cast: Natalie Moore, Xander Corvus, Seth Gamble, Cassidey, Ryan McLane, Macy Cartel, Anthony Rosano, Christie Stevens, Evan Stone, Adrianna Luna, Ryan Driller

Length: 141:16 minutes

Date of Production: 2013

Extras: All the extras were on the second disc. The best related extra was the 26:50 minute long Behind the Scenes feature, the director dealing with various technical matters as the cast hammed it up, some added sex included as well. There was also a cumshot reel, a photogallery, and some trailers (3x), as well as three unrelated bonus scenes from previous flicks that totaled a 51:00 minute running time. The first came from the Sandra Buttocks and Jesse Janes Scandal movie starring Erin Marxxx, Tory Lane, and Danny Mountain. The second was from Ass Ass & More Ass as described below between Julie Cash and Alec Knight. The third was from OMG… It’s The Dirty Dancing XXX Parody starring Christie Stevens and Seth Gamble.

Condoms: None

Audio/Video Quality: The Lone Ranger XXX was presented in anamorphic widescreen as shot by director Jordan Septo for Exquisite (under his Extreme Comixxx line). Alex Ladd and Paul Woodcrest handled the cameras while “T” was the sound tech and Roberto Sotello was the wardrobe worker in question, a nod given to Lea Lexis for coming up with this version of the Lone Ranger costume and Shanella Genice credited with makeup. Of interest was the theme song by Jefsong.com but the entire production looked quite well done, even if my computer did not like the third scene at all. The aural qualities included a score appropriate enough that I thought it was above average, easily heard vocals, and some audio special effects complementing the visual ones a fan of the original source material would expect.

Body of Review: Jordan Septo has long been a quality director of gonzo porn, his recent forays into porn parodies at Exquisite generating some positive publicity. His latest making it my way is called The Lone Ranger XXX: An Exquisite Films Parody, the movie starring hotty Adrianna Luna as a re-imagined Tonto, Ryan Driller portraying the straight-laced Lone Ranger, and Anthony Rosano as his nemesis Butch Cavendish. Before I go too far, it should be noted that the feature elements, as limited as they are here, bore no resemblance to the huge mainstream flop from this past summer. In fact, while the sexual misconduct of the porn version was obviously superior to the mainstream effort, the modest acting was about on par with the hugely expensive Johnny Depp/Armand Hammer Jr movie though admittedly, the feature elements of the mainstream outing blew this one away (as expected). While my biggest interest in seeing this porno was Adrianna Luna and Christie Stevens, I was also curious to see if hotty Cassidey was still as alluring as she was when she “retired” years back (of course she was just as beautiful).

The back cover described the movie like this: “The Wild West was one of the most exciting times in American history. From it stemmed great tales of legendary heroes and dastardly villains. One such great tale was The Lone Ranger and his run ins with Butch Cavendish. In our story, Butch and his gang ambush The Texas Rangers in attempt to take over the territory. Butch's plan almost worked, except they failed to kill one ranger who was left for dead. But they didn't count on Tonto, a friend from the rangers past. Tonto nursed the ranger back to health and helped him put an end to the iron grip that held the townspeople hostage.” Here’s a brief look at the scenes by cast and action, noting that no condoms were used for those still interested:

Scene One: Natalie Moore, a fetching young lass in her period outfit as a bar girl (figure it out), was up first with Xander Corvus and Seth Gamble. These two self styled “Butch and Sundance clones) looked western enough for their roles too, her oral skills put to the test as she alternated slobbing their knobs while on her knees before them. She throated them with relative ease and bent over to take them vaginally, her riding on the passive side most of the time though her eye contact was solid. She had a bald beaver and otherwise looked too clean for the part but she seemed to have some fun with the guys all the same, each of them remaining in their outfits to a degree while they bumped uglies. She continued to blow one while the other porked her, boning her like they owned her, her puffy pussy looking best when she was active during the cowgirl variations. The action ended when she received their genetic juice to her face and open mouth, the baby batter good enough to keep her eyes open to catch most of it even if she did not swallow.

Scene Two: Cassidey, a former contract performer with enchanting eyes (I told her as much every time I ran into her back in the day) and a sexy body, was up next with Ryan McLane in a tent. She was also dressed to the hilt in costumed corset and accessories, Ryan looking appropriately scruffy as she removed articles of clothing to service him on the bed. Like several of the others, she hammed it up just fine, her ass in the air as she kissed him reminding me of the good old days. She worked his pecker into her mouth slowly but sensually, the short hummer leading to him plowing her rapidly in a few penetrative positions of vaginal sex. She had a small landing strip over her crotch but was mostly trimmed tight, Cassidey getting into bouncing on his cock as they continued. She left her dance hall boots on and fishnet stockings as she gave some taste testing head, more vaginal boning on her stomach leading Ryan to jerk off a wad of population pudding along her ass crack as she smiled knowingly.

Scene Three: Macy Cartel, the appealing blond seen on the far left side of the front cover was up next as she took on villainous Anthony “Butch Cavendish” Rosano when he got the drop on the town’s sheriff (Even Stone). Macy was cock hungry and Anthony never missed a chance to ham up his lines, the couple kissing playfully as they felt each other up. My computer had some issues with this scene, perhaps it was a faulty layer change, but the good news was how orally attentive things got as she inhaled his modest pecker once ditching most of her attire. She had a shaven snatch and some tattoos that did not fit the look of the times, the gal providing superior eye contact as she blew and vaginally rode Anthony’s cock. He had some minor wood issues here but she showed patience to make it happen, the guy even rimming her perfect pucker when he tapped her on the table. He delivered to her a vaginal creampie that was allowed to slightly ooze out of her puffy pussy, the gal masturbating as if that would make the spunk come out faster.

Scene Four: Christie Stevens, the thicker blond seen on the left side of the front cover (in black top) with the neck piece on, was up next with sheriff Evan Stone, the gal paying him a visit once the excitement calmed down. She practically jumped him and kissed the guy as she did, pulling out her boobs at least as fast as he whipped out his turgid rod for her to suck. She applied some hand to gland friction to enhance the blowjob for him and gave him some nut nibbling too, Evan lifting up her petticoat as he bent her over to pound hard against the wooden table. She sucked her own juices off his cock between positions of vaginal sex, her shaven slit as anachronistic as the others in the movie. She was one of the most active riders of the cast too, impaling herself on his cock and aggressively riding as she maintained eye contact, his wealth of splooge rubbed out on her face and in her mouth to appreciate the baby batter all the more.

Scene Five: Adrianna Luna, the featured starlet of the cast as seen on the right side of the front cover, was up last with Ryan “Lone Ranger” Driller (standing next to her on the cover), once things settled down. They gave each other long, lingering kisses while slowly removing their clothing, some light caressing assisting the good eye contact in establishing some connection between them. He drew her in closer as she grabbed his cock, the gal successfully slobbing his knob before he returned the favor of going down on her. She then climbed onto his erection and thoroughly enjoyed riding him, the expressions on her face cementing my belief that she was into the moment more than anything else. Aside from the various vaginal penetrative positions such as cowgirl variations and missionary, they did doggy that highlighted her awesome ass and allowed her tits to bounce around nicely before he bust a nut of ball batter into her mouth for swallowing, Adrianna savoring the taste as she looked up at Ryan.

Bonus Scene: Ass Ass & More Ass: Julie Cash, Alec Knight: Buxom blond Julie Cash, dressed in a bikini that's so small that it barely covers her bounteous tits, struts into a living room, introduces herself (She came all the way from Texas to shoot the scene!), and shows off her big booty. She shakes and jiggles her butt for us, poses provocatively, squeezes her fine tits, and strips. Alec Knight soon joins Julie on a nondescript couch, spanks and fondles her big ass cheeks, strokes her labia, and helps her out of her remaining clothes. Julie loves Alec's touch and giggles delightfully. Magnetically attracted to Julie's pretty and tasty pussy, Alec soon buries his tongue between her labia and gives her damned nice cunnilingus. Julie soon decides that she wants to see and "play with" Alec's cock. So, she unzips his jeans, pulls out his rod, and gives him a stringer-intensive blowjob that includes lots of talented handwork and balls gobbling. Meanwhile, Julie's big fine tits bounce delightfully and her pretty blue eyes lock with ours so that she can share her lust with us. She also uses a bit of naughty vocabulary to praise Alec's dick. In due course, Alec asks Julie to sit on the couch. He spreads her legs wide and goes down on her pussy for a second bout of ravenous cunnilingus. Meanwhile, Julie groans contentedly and pulls on Alec's hair. Alec soon slips his cock into Julie's pussy and fucks it while she lies on her side. Meanwhile, Julie spanks her own bounteous ass, spreads her butt cheeks, squeals with delight, talks nasty, and squeezes Alec's pistoning cock with her hands. As the scene continues, Julie straddles and fucks Alec in cowgirl (she uses some pretty fine moves!), lets Alec fuck her powerfully in mish, and again shows off her passionate and erotic moves while she and Alec fuck in Julie's "favorite" position....doggie. Doggie must really do something special for Julie because she's soon screaming, "You're going to make me cum!" Her subsequent orgasm appears to pleasure every cell in her body! Afterward, she keeps on fucking Alec as his own orgasm inches closer and closer. When Alec can no longer hold back, he pulls out of Julie's pussy and, once she's dropped to her knees and opened her mouth, jacks off into Julie's mouth. Like a good slut, Julie swallows! Then, as the scene comes to an end, Julie uses the tip of her tongue to lick Alec's throbbing dick. (review by Dr. Jay)

Summary: The Lone Ranger XXX by director Jordan Septo for Exquisite continued the director’s successful parody efforts to earn a rating of Recommended, the sexual trysts well captured and the ladies in the cast looking as fetching as ever even if the feature parts of the flick were kind of tame. I would have loved to see more of a story here and I doubt any straight man would have complained had Adrianna Luna been given a lot more scenes for us to appreciate but the director followed his general formula so I can’t fault him for changing things up that have worked for him in the past. In short, The Lone Ranger XXX: An Exquisite Films Parody won’t annoy most fans given the limited feature elements played out against the sexual trysts the attractive women were in, the costuming above average as was the technical aspects of the movie compared to other parodies of late.