Dr. Lori Beth Bisbey is spicing up the conversation as the featured guest of this week’s episode of Shameless Sex Podcast, “How to Add More Hotness and Desire to Your Relationship”.

The London-based Accredited Advanced GSRD (gender, sex, relationship diversity) therapist, registered psychologist and sex, intimacy & relationship coach has heard nearly every intimate scenario between couples in her 35 years of practice, and she shared her expertise and advice with Shameless Sex hosts April Lampert and Amy Baldwin.

“You have to know something about what you like, and what you want and what you want to explore… so I point people in the direction of erotica, because I find that erotica is a great place where you can observe your own reactions,” says Bisbey. “You can read to each other… and share movie nights, reading nights… it’s a great way to find things without having to go somewhere and do something, which people are always really anxious about.”

Bisbey also touches on enjoying public performances (“burlesque nights can be a lot of fun”), non-monogamy (“everybody always thinks of a threesome as the place to start; three is an awkward number!”), intimate gatherings (“you can go to a swingers’ club and watch… or camming is great”), roleplay (“that’s a lot of fun in terms of spicing up your relationship”) and going pro (“hire a sex worker”).

She also adds, “Your communication needs to be really good; if there’s something you’re not comfortable talking about, GET comfortable talking about it… it’s supposed to be fun; if it’s heavy and its intense from the very beginning, maybe you want to be trying something else.

“Know yourself, know what you want; if you’re a person who tends to be insecure, do the work on yourself to deal with the insecurity before you start inviting other people around… if you’re secure in your relationship and your relationship is good, it’s just boring now, that’s a better place to start from than ‘our relationship is on the rocks’.”

You can follow Dr. Lori Beth Bisbey on Twitter at @drbisbey.