Was Face Sitting Really a Regal Act?
Ah, dear reader, some stories are simply too satisfying not to believe. Historical "queening chairs" and Middle Ages tongue slaves? They make for titillating tales, but let me burst that bubble now: these stories are fanciful myths. Yes, the internet is a magical place where misinformation about anything, including face sitting, can thrive like an uninvited guest at a royal feast.
The chair is real
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Today, we’re peeling back the velvety curtain on these urban (or medieval) legends and looking at the actual fascinating history of sexual power dynamics and oral-centric intimacy. If you're here for both entertainment and the truth, grab your metaphorical crown as we dive in.
The Queening Chair That Never Was
First, let’s address the elephant—or should we say throne—in the room. If you’ve encountered salacious tales of ancient Persians crafting extravagant "queening chairs" to support dutiful men servicing multiple women or accounts of noblewomen employing tongue slaves to occupy their idle mouths during their husband’s absences, you’re not alone. These stories ping-pong around many corners of the internet, from steamy blogs to meme threads—but historians are here to play the killjoy card.
There is *zero* historical evidence that these chairs (or their purported existence) were used in ancient Persia or the Middle Ages. We’re dealing with classic internet myth-making, a stew of historical misinterpreting, sexual fascination, and good old creative embellishment. Sprinkle a little "academic-sounding" language on top, and voilà—a viral story that feels credible. Who wouldn’t want to believe that women of means were getting their pleasure on with ingenuity and flair somewhere in the glow of candlelit chambers?
The truth is that no established academic resources back up these fanciful claims. Many of these salacious tales have more in common with modern BDSM fantasies than dusty scrolls, castles, or harems. Sorry to disappoint, but queening chairs? Pure fabrication.
@dr.esme.louise Your guide to spotting historical misinformation on the internet! #KinkyHistory We all know that the Internet is filled with false information, and especially when it comes to facts from history, these can be very hard to discern. Here are just a quick few tips to distinguish clickbait from real saucy knowledge! #LearnOnTikTok #History #Educational ♬ original sound - Dr. Esmé Louise James
Exploring the Modern Appeal of "Face Sitting"
While the historical backstory might not hold water, the celebration of queening as an act of intimacy and empowerment is very, very real. If the idea of "face sitting" feels playful, dominant, and liberating, that’s no accident—it inherently flips traditional power dynamics on their heads (and faces).
In modern sexuality, queening—or sitting on a partner’s face—is symbolic as much as sensual. It’s a gesture of confidence, control, and trust. The one receiving must surrender to their partner’s desires, often in ways that verge on vulnerable. Meanwhile, the one giving pleasure in this scenario gets to enjoy being entirely responsible for someone else’s satisfaction while playing the eager worshipper. It's a heady mix of dominance and devotion, intimacy and eroticism—and no myth could dilute the appeal.
Setting the Record Straight with Consent and Communication
While medieval tongue slaves never existed (boo!), what’s eternally relevant about queening is the foundation it lays for mutual respect, communication, and consent in intimate relationships. Modern queening’s pleasure factor doesn’t come from ancient chairs or elaborate myths; it comes from the honest and enthusiastic collaboration that’s key to all great sex.
If this regal act tickles your curiosity, remember these essentials:
- Make sure both parties are equally excited about the dynamic. Some folks love losing themselves in giving, and others feel a little intimidated about being worshipped. Chat it out before you, ahem, ascend the throne.
- Ergonomics matter, dear reader! While Persian queening chairs may be mythical, you still don’t want to hover over your partner for extended periods only to realize nobody thought of neck support. Cushions—or even better, the comfort of lying on a firm mattress—can make a big difference.
- Think of this as the royal decree of queening—cleanliness is a must for everyone involved. A quick freshen-up before playtime keeps things fresher than a daisy pressed into parchment.
- Intimacy isn’t about perfection; it’s about connection. Laugh off any awkwardness, find positions that work for both of you, and take those deep breaths as liberally as needed. Crowns weren’t built in a day.
So, dear reader, while there’s no historical record of women in ancient Persia perching regally over holes in chairs or keeping a stable of willing tongues at their whim, that doesn’t mean you can’t make your own queening history. After all, pleasure isn’t about furniture or legends—it’s about what you do now with the people who enthusiastically join you.