Flexible Yoga Devotees with Stamina will Love Piledriver

The Piledriver

This Graduate Level Sex Position is Not for Couch Potatoes

Ladies who can easily contort their bodies into Downwarddog, Bow Pose, Cat Pose, Bridge Pose, or Setu Bandha Sarvangasa may be able to survive the infamous Piledriver position if they partner with a man who’s proficient in Boat Pose. Dude needs thighs and abs of steel. Babe needs a spine of titanium and graphene.

For some, Piledriver is a wrestling maneuver first used by Andre the Giant in the 1970s. In the context of sex, it’s an advanced intercourse position that is occasionally called the Jackhammer. Those capable of the core muscle-intensive form of copulation can engage in congress with the ass or the vagina and leaves neither of them shrouded in mystery.

There is no face-to-face contact, but the particularly flexible can sight of their partner if they try. Even those with pliable spinal columns or powerlifter quadriceps can benefit from doing hip-opening exercises before getting down to business. Also, it’s vital to discuss the upcoming, likely aggressive, penetration and what to do if it gets to be too much for either person.

Cosmopolitan considers Piledriver to be one of the “13 Sex Moves That Need to Die,” and L.A. Weekly opines that “This twisted position actually combines just about every unpleasurable aspect of sex into one ruthless sex act.” It concludes that Piledriver is “the porn industry’s most cringe-worthy pose.”

Now that we’ve established that Piledriver comes with a warning and a release from harm waiver, what the hell is it? How is it done? What makes it so “cringe-worthy” and worthy of dying out?

After all the stretching out and talking, the bottom/receiving partner gets into position first. This means putting their shoulders on the ground and their legs in the air. Leaning against a couch or bed can make this much easier, and it’s okay to ask for help getting that butt up and stable. A small pillow behind the back can help support the spine. Once the bottom, who we’ll assume is a woman, is ready to be hammered, the Top can straddle them and find an angle that allows for penetration. This will likely require that he lean forward and balance himself by bending his knees.

If the goal of your Piledriver experience is pleasure, good luck with that. It’s mostly a Bucket List position to try out because it’s there. Maybe its taboo nature will up the passion and satisfaction. After all, when done right, Piledriver is ideal for some serious deep dicking.

What could go wrong, right? Well, let me tell you. Anyone with a bad back will probably regret trying Piledriver. That may seem obvious but some of the non-back-related risks are less obvious. How about penis fractures? Thrusting too fast from a bad angle can cause a popping sound which means the dick has suffered blunt force trauma because it missed its target and slammed against, well, something else. Chances are the Top will pass out from this.

If this happens and there’s an injury to the foreskin or cock that causes pain, get it looked at by a doctor. Seriously.

Risks for the bottom include blood rushing to their head after an extended period upside down. This can result in the bottom passing out. Ideally, not while the Top passes out from a penile fracture. If you become light-headed while being folded, spindle, and penetrated, speak up and shift into a more comfortable position. Lastly, since Piledriver depends on both the Top and the bottom sustaining their balance. If that doesn’t happen, one or both partners can slip or fall.

Deep penetration can be exciting and satisfying for anyone having sex, but this kind of deep penetration may not be possible or appealing. Fortunately, there are other ways to put the dick down and avoid a neighborhood clinic or hospital visit. For instance, the Over the Shoulder Leg Holder does the job quite nicely without the pain and strain of Piledriver. As a selfless researcher in the field of sexuality, I can assure you from experience that this position works.

With the Over the Shoulder Leg Holder position, the bottom reclines on the bed, couch, loveseat, or other horizontal surface as if you were going to fuck Missionary. But here’s the twist, the bottom’s legs go over the Top’s shoulders while he kneels or gets on top of her. Once his cock finds the gates of heaven or the tunnel to taboo, the Top can lean forward and put pressure on the bottom’s clit or taint.

This also works if the Top holds his body upright and lifts his bottom’s hips. If the Top is really flexible and feeling generous, he might be able to get in a few licks between the thrusts.