The XCritic Interview: Dee Siren

November 23, 2020
DEMARKO

If there is a porn superstar you should get to know in the land of XXX, it is Dee Siren. A trendsetter, a sensational performer and true to life hyper sexual woman. She is the total package who will go down as more than a porn star who changed the way we see women, beauty, and pornography once her career is done. Let’s forget for a second that she does write one of the most valuable columns for the XCritic brand [X Mentors]. A column that talks about industry experiences. Designed for performers to navigate this land of fantasy we all know and love. Strip away the one-hundred thousand plus Twitter followers who fell in love with her brand, her being, and her persona with the creations made by her own hand and what you have is something beyond great. At the same time, try and look past the businesswoman inside of her, one that made the leap from big production to her own stage and did it better than almost anyone in the industry. Take all of that away from this Texas beauty and what remains is a woman who is looking to change the way we see porn, porn stars, and industry. All in ways that people never thought possible. Her love for her fellow performers is how I met Dee Siren, and what I saw at first meeting, was a woman who everyone knew within this grand business. From icons like John Stagliano to the owner of the most frequented porn set on the planet, the Maestro from a “Perverted City” we all know and love. When we sat down and spoke about creating this interview, the main focus I wanted to show was the woman who was fearless. Who enjoyed what she did for a living and fought every day, along with many others, for the rights and benefits of performers both physically and mentally. She is a goddess in the indie world to some fans. MILF extraordinaire to others. To me, she is so much more and that is what I look to show here today. Be prepared to be wowed by ways that you never thought possible by a porn star ladies and gentleman.

Don Juan: I do not think that there is ever a day in your life that is boring my friend. I always love hearing what you are up to.

Dee is a woman whose day is always going. This Houston hottie is one of the most dedicated to her fans and the industry. When you talk about self-made, this woman defines it in the adult world. What I will share with the fans is that Dee and I have spent endless hours talking about life, talking about sexuality, and our community. There are few that I go to for advice in this industry and Dee is that person for me and it has been since we first said hello. This is the woman they should shoot a documentary film about because her life is something special, as is her husband's.

Darlin’ what I want to do today is show the fans who Dee Siren is. I want to be able to give them insight into the things that make you such a valuable commodity to this industry. I want to talk about FSC, the advice that is so valued by your fellow performers but first, we must start in the most standard way possible. I would love to be able to have you tell the XCritic readers, how you found your way into our beloved industry.

Dee Siren: Sure, well my story is that I was a teacher who was a swinger. That was my “weekend” hobby. Then, things began to take part on the weekdays as well and I started to become an exhibitionist. My husband and I had the idea that maybe we would do something that would draw some fans and I started out doing webcamming. I had a friend that was doing it who was also a swinger, and she was the first person to introduce me to that part of the industry back in 2009. We both started on a website that no longer exists and that was when webcamming was really just beginning. I found that going from private to public with my exhibitionism was something that I really liked, but there was something missing. I can not say that I did not enjoy things but I found that I was not much of a tease, I was more of the sure thing. That is when I decided that creating porn might be the place that is best for me. Also, around this time was when MFC was coming around. I was actually one of the very first models on MFC. I loved this platform and again, everything was in public. It was this friend of mine who took me deeper into what I could do on a webcam. She introduced me to one of the true innovators of webcamming. The first model who introduced fun games for her fans to play like spin the wheel for fans to pick what she does, or what theme that day's show was. This was the model that literally invented those games. It is such an interesting thing to think of all the innovative things this woman came up with back then.

So, I did webcam for about six months. I completely quit my teaching job, and I just indulged in everything that webcamming could offer. It was so different to be talking and interacting with people on a screen as opposed to having them right there in front of your face when it came to sex. It is where I learned that you do not have to be physical with someone to be intimate with them. I made so many friends that I still talk to and interact with to this day. I am not kidding. I have fans that have been with me since 2009. They are some of my biggest fans, and we still talk all the time.

I do not know if every fan knows this, but most adult performers were usually people who were in jobs that catered to people and took care of them in some way. I like to say that they were all healthcare professionals and teachers. Dee Siren, she is both. This woman who has studied the psychology of sex and continues to do so to this day is a certified sex education and intimacy coach.

Webcam, it is not like everyone thinks that it is. From being hardcore to literally singing the ABC’s to someone to help them fall asleep at night. There is so much more intimacy that people think exists on webcam. Now, that is not to say that I was not hardcore. When it comes to hardcore I want the fans to know that I was very hardcore. It was about six months into this adventure that my fans began to tell me that if I enjoyed doing hardcore on webcam then maybe I should try porn. That is where I got my first taste of things with Naughty Alicia. She was from Florida and is sadly now retired but got me started with the first videos that I starred in and remember this was way back in 2009 and it was called Huge Holes 15. It was a film all about big toys, I mean huge. Bad Dragon, I am sure that you are familiar with them right? Now we are talking about those big toys were nothing compared to our big toys for that film. I guess you could say that I started out with a lot of “big” things in my career and then backtracked to small. It was all about big, extreme and then I went to Naughty America. Starting out extreme and then running the gambit with everything and anything within the industry and that is how it all began.

Don Juan: That is the coolest fucking story woman. There is nothing that is conventional when it comes to Dee Siren. I would love to hear about your beginning making your own films and scenes. Siren Studios is such a great place for fans to discover something I do not think they can get from big production companies. I would just love to go back to those beginnings and talk about also what that did for you as a woman and a performer.

Dee Siren: Well, like I said earlier, I think that the connection between the fans and I has always been there. I am that type of person and I think that I always will be. I can read people, I can relate to so many and I did not always know what that meant in my life. I don’t know if you can call me a mind reader because I do not know if that is what it is but it is close. I have that connection with people. I can literally feel what that person is all about almost instantly. I feel that energy, and I am a person who can just go with the flow.

I can honestly tell you this is one-hundred percent true. Last year, I met Dee through her publicist, and we were meant to meet at the Evil Angel party during AVN 2020. Needless to say, things did not go as they were planned but what I will tell you is that leading up to this meeting was a conversation much like this one where Dee and I just messaged for what seemed like forever. This is a woman who I think would put the fucking Psychic Connection out of business. I can not say I connected and made a friend as quickly as I did with Dee Siren.

So, I am just simply good at doing that with other people. I can do that on webcam and build that intimate relationship with pretty much everyone. Being that type of person and being a teacher, I did that with children. I guess you could say that it went from teaching children to teaching adults. I went from teaching things that I had learned in college to teaching sex, which was what I did best. Sex, it is what I love, it is my gift. Everybody has something that is a gift and sex is mine. I am also a very spiritual person. I am not a very religious person, but I am a very outward thinking person. I believe that we are all on a journey to find out who our real authentic selves are. That is really what this industry has given me. It has allowed me to further open my mind. Early in my life, I was that person who was very open but was held back in a closed off box that I think society puts many of us in. Being closed off is not something that is natural, it is not in our nature as humans to be placed in boxes that confine us and it is something that we have done to ourselves. I think that is one of the things that relates us all in this industry is that we are all really outside the box people and sex has given us that outlet to be able to express ourselves. Most artists, most actors, are people who really do not follow the social norm. We all definitely all within our realm being in the adult industry, we are on a different mental plane of living and socializing. We act and speak to each other very differently than other people which I think makes it hard to deal with other people.

Yes, I love this industry but when a person decided to get into this industry you have to understand that you are actually going to be living a completely different lifestyle than anything you have ever been used to. This is something that is not just a job. This is not something that you can just turn off and walk away from. This is something that is not like changing jobs and going from being a teacher to a social worker. You know what I mean? You just can not change things within who you are like changing a place of work like working in a grocery store or trying to become the manager of a bank. Those are all jobs where nobody really knows you, not even the people who go there as customers or clients. Working in a job like that allows you to keep your anonymity. No one has to know you unless you go out of your way to be known. You can be a private citizen but when you are in this industry you are opening yourself up to forever being seen by the public.

Don Juan: Oh, I agree darlin’ and that is why I would love to hear your opinion on this. Of all the time that I have been in the business. I kid you not, this is what I run into most when I come across performers of all sorts. Performers, before they venture here, they are usually one of the two things. They are either teachers, or they used to work in healthcare. I think you could literally go down a list of performers and inquire what it is that they do and a lot of their professions would be marked as those two. I think that those jobs relate to exactly who the people are in this business. To be in this business you have to be someone who cares about others and you must have love and compassion as the main things that guide you in life. I think that so many people do not know how much goes into performing in this business. It takes a very special person.

Dee Siren: When I am performing, it is absolutely a performance. I am not the same person that I am at home that I am in front of the camera. This is a different personality when what you see away from the camera but it is a part of me because of how intimate things become. She is a very powerful part of me. She is the strong part of me. That part of me has given me the confidence to become an even better human being. Being Dee Siren has helped me to become a way stronger person in general. If you were to look at the other part of me, I am a very introverted person. So many of my friends, so many of the performers in this industry are also very introverted. We are not out partying all the time, we do not go to a lot of social events unless we are with each other. Our friend groups are very tight, and we all stay together. So many of my social groups are all in LA and then I have even more in Vegas. I live in Houston and I literally hang out with no one.

Don Juan: Oh, my God, same here!

Dee Siren: I think most people in the industry do not have any comfort level outside the industry because we are always constantly judged as if we are doing something bad and I do not understand it. Sex is something that is a need for every human, and I am going to be polite as polite can be here. I am a person who grew up in this vanilla world and mine was extra vanilla. In my life, I got a double shot of vanilla in with my coffee. My life consisted of a lot of being kept within that box throughout my entire community. It was all about acting a certain way, dressing a certain, talking a certain way. That was the way that everyone kept from being judged and how they kept up with the Jones’. So, when I decided to do porn it changed so much about my family. It is something that broke through the ceiling. Getting into this industry showed me a different side of people and I had a lot of them disown me. The ones that stuck around are the ones that paid attention to who I was and those people I love dearly. They were people who allowed me to educate them and to hear me out about these decisions that I made for myself in life. They were people in my life who also saw others for who they were. Then, I started to see that my family began to treat those people differently as well. It made me see how valuable it is to choose the right people to be around. It made me see what it is that makes us human. What it is that we choose to see within other people and ourselves. I also began to discover the importance of knowing who we are when it comes to what other people think about us. Who you have around has a lot to do with what you are going to think of yourself. When I was younger, around seventeen, I did not have the confidence that this industry gave to me. This is where I first looked at my body and I loved what I saw because of how much acceptance I had around me. Discovering that for me can only be described one way, interesting.

Don Juan: Darlin’ sorry to interrupt you but this is exactly why I wanted to bring you in on this interview. I love getting to turn these interviews into tools of positivity. I know you and I talk a lot about the things that we want to change and make better in the business but there are many good things that exist right now. It makes me remember when I first started doing the writing thing a few years ago, and I was covering a convention. I met this tall, big-boned, handsome gentleman, and long story short, he ended up dating a gal that he met at a convention. The next year at the same convention I saw him again, and he was now married to this gal who he met at a booth, and his words stuck with me forever. He said, “I have finally met someone in life who loves me, for me. She does not shame me and loves me for who I am.” I hate to say this, but I have never seen that outside of this business in many years. That is just another beautiful part of the industry that no one talks about.

Dee Siren: Yeah, oh yeah. There are many of us that we just yearn to be treated like a human. I have done so much as a performer and worked with so many people that I understand and see what is good with so many people, and I am talking about physical attraction. That is a story that would take me another hour to tell. Getting to be in this industry has made so much more of my life and my views comfortable. That is what led me to some a certified sex educator. It was being in this industry that made me come back full circle to talk about education and make others aware of it within themselves. I have been able to do some mentoring and that is where I see more and more of my work going and it is not just with people inside the industry. I want to be able to be there for the guys and the girls of the industry. I want this industry to be something positive. I do not want people to be hurt, I do not want people to feel like they belong. Being comfortable when you are expanding your boundaries when you are trying to make your career as a performer become bigger and better, I want you to be proud and happy with what you have done. I think when you look at everything within Hollywood there are so many people who do not stop and make sure that their vision is something that is not neglected, and they are not only creating and putting out a director's vision if that makes any sense.

Don Juan: Damn straight it does. We work in an industry of art, just like the other genres of film and theater. I think an actor and a performer must make sure that what they are doing is within their boundaries. Boundaries as an artist, as a sexual human being. Those things matter so much.

Dee Siren: Yes, being able to make your vision come to life is a very important thing. This is something that I have been doing all along. This was something that was a part of my way of life before I got into the industry. That is where Siren Studios came from. That was always my vision. I just love crazy sex and I can honestly say now that Dee is my vagina and that is how things came to be.

We share a massive laugh. Siren Studios is one of the true pioneering companies when it comes to independent production. The fan following is amazing and one thing I had always wondered was how Dee got this massive fan base and it is due to the fact that she lives for what she does. It is a part of her and has many sides. I know that may sound unorthodox to some but the truth is that is all this industry is. A place of truth in so many forms that you can not hide because you are naked. Her work consists of some of the most amazing hardcore and sensual sex presented in so many ways. The many faces of Dee Siren are what continue to make this industry grow in so many ways.

When Dee is in control, she does not want to stop. She is always like “go, go, go!” Now the rest of me is trying to keep things in a lower gear because we are going to be sore as hell the next few days if we don’t. The rest of me has to let this girl just be wild at times. I think myself and Siren Studios allow people to just have fun with sex. I think that society just takes on so much shame, guilt, body, and character judgment that we feel sex is something we can not even talk about and I want to change that with all that I do. What kind of education provided to people is very little and that just should not be.

Don Juan: I think this is something the entire world needs help with. I do. We teach children to fear sex. We tell them do not enjoy it, and we offer nothing in terms of knowledge in most cases. I refer to it as giving a kid the keys to the car with no driving lessons and tell them, “make sure you don’t wreck the care.” I myself think that is why so many people suffer from some form of anxiety. Like a car, there is so much that needs to be known in order to maintain it, take care of it, and respect it.

Dee Siren: Yes, that is true. We do not take the time. I am a Mom, I have children and I have made sure to talk about them when it comes to sex. This is something that I taught them from an early age is something to be discussed and that it is not weird to feel this way, or to talk about such things. Yes, this is something that most people will only be doing when they become an adult but you know, telling a person that they can not do, or think, or talk about something until they are eighteen is setting someone up to fail in many cases. I think that you should be teaching your child about sex the moment that you buy them an iPhone. Computers these days are responsible for being a parent to so many. A computer is not going to tell your children what is responsible, what is safe, and most importantly who they are and why and how they discovered something like porn. A talk about sex should accompany anyone’s first venture with a computer that is hooked up to the internet.

Don Juan: I think something that we could go even deeper with is the emotion and the connection that occurs with sex and just the thoughts of sex. We do not show people, even grown people, that the connection that is felt with compassion is something that needs to be groomed and always taken care of with emotion and thought. So many people look at sex as their only outlet for emotion and that should not be the only thing that sex is, you know what I am saying? We do not even teach men that hey, sometimes when you have sex with a woman, you little soldier may not always cooperate and that is not the end of the world. That is something very normal, but we do not educate people that it is normal.

Dee Siren: Well, I have more than a few different opinions on that. Because I feel that not every sexual encounter needs to be something that is emotional. I do not think that it is necessary, it is not something that should be required with every single sexual encounter you have. For me, I have had sex with so many people and I absolutely enjoy it and love it. I do not need to have an emotional connection with every person. Like we talked about more than a few times, there are moments where sex is this massive release. It always has been for me, that is for sure. I am a squirter and if you do not believe in squirting then I think that you are a person who needs to do more research. No, you should watch my podcast and I will teach you. I am also writing a book. It just takes a long time to write a book.

Don Juan: As always, you make us wiser with your knowledge madam. I think that society gets things reversed at times. There are moments where connection should never be involved. There are a strength and a fragility to love and sex. That is just how special those things are. It is that reverse thinking that has kept so many people down for such a long period of time.

Dee Siren: That is because people are learning about sex from watching porn. That is exactly why things are the way there are because there is no discussion at all within society. This has been an ongoing problem for a very long time and it is all caused by a lack of discussion. People are so scared to just open up their mouths and start talking. I tell everyone that I am with, my husband, friends, whatever, “use your words, talk about it.” Do not push things down. There is something to having sex with someone and saying, “hey, bend over.” Telling people what you like to do, what you would like to experience are the most important things. Most guys do not know how to use words and pushing people around, even when it is affectionate is all that they know. That is why so many of them do not know what to do. When you see someone being Mr. Domination in a scene, it is not really that way in life. There is so much more that is involved with that, involved with sex and involved with porn.

Mentor, porn star, teacher, mother and producer. What is the lone title that defines Dee Siren? It is hard to categorize a woman who can not even be defined as one thing within her adult film career? BBW, MILF, there is no category that contains this sexual superstar, trust me, many people have tried and Dee is the woman who goes above and beyond anything that they thought she was capable of. She is a woman who everyone knows and it is her kindness, her ability to be selfless in a time of selfishness that I think begins to define what wonder she is to the world of XXX. Her X-Mentor column is a game-changer in the world of adult entertainment, just like her. She speaks of ways to manage day to day like in porn, how to know what you are getting into, and what lies ahead. I think when a person stops and ponders, that is exactly what defines this Texas beauty. She is a natural-born leader, a woman who would do anything for anybody and as the age of COVID-19 begins to twist and turn into uncharted territory, this starlet steadies the ship by looking to wrong as many rights in our industry as she can and I have no doubt she will succeed.