When summer comes to an end, the 12 month AVN eligibility period also comes to a close. Here is a song that I wrote to celebrate the Oscars of Porn. It is in the tune of Jay Z's song "Empire State of Mind."
Yeah
[Verse 1: Singer 1]
Yeah it was at the Aladdin, Tropicana, Bally's and other places
Now across from Comfort Inn, to hold all the faces
We are at the Hard Rock, the place of champions
It's our Oscars, in the realm of adult films
We have adorable Penny Pax and Richie Calhoun Today's current on-screen couple of swoon
Axel, Will, Brad, and Lee Roy Myers
Are some of our leading adult filmmakers
Nina Hartley as Auntie Em
I always knew she'd be a slutty somethin'.
With Jada Stevens, Skin Diamond, Riley Reid, and Bonnie Rotten
Gonzo has a solid future upcomin'.
Romance continues to be highly erotic and sensual
On account of writer-directors Jacky St. James, Eddie P., and Nica Noelle
After another super year gone by
It's time to celebrate our hard work in
[Chorus: Singer 2]
Vegas, city of lights where careers are turned anew
Winning an AVN makes it official
Confirmation for your great work
Now the applause feels surreal
In receiving a trophy just to fuck for real
It's great to be in Vegas, Vegas,Vegas
Yeah
[Verse 2: Singer 1]
Here I am Apache Warrior
Also known as a reviewer and voter
Sitting with my idols amongst the audience
Who knew a kid from Sonoma
Would be so big in the adult world
I remember watching my first porno
When I was a teenager
With my god-brother and my neighbor
Watching a middle-aged couple performing the doggie
I saw it a few minutes and got a woodie
You know, UC Davis is my alma mater
And I got in trouble for writing an erotic paper
Saw two adult films with Brett, Stuart, and Tony I wore my glasses since it was a 3-D movie
My Junior year I subscribed to the Playboy Channel
Tower of Power was on with John Leslie and the gorgeous Angel.
[Chorus: Singer 2]
Vegas, city of lights where careers are turned anew
Winning an AVN makes it official
Confirmation for your great work
Now the applause feels surreal
In receiving a trophy just to fuck for real
It's great to be in Vegas, Vegas, Vegas
[Verse 3; Singer 1]
Transsexuals and lesbians are my muses
Like Eva Lin, Jane Marie, and Wendy Williams
All girl fuck flicks are a big turn-on for me
Thanks to Girlfriends Films, Sweetheart Video, and Girl Candy
Evil Angel, Jules Jordan, and their many nods,
Rule the gonzo world and thus the lauds
Wicked Pictures' busstlin' contract girls
Deserve a mile long string of pearls
Porno Dan and his Immoral Productions' posse
Make him mistaken for an Aussie,
There were bridesmaids galore in Digital Playground's comedy
With Jesse, Stoya, and Kayden being the remedy,
My idols like Tom Byron, Joey Silvera, Seka, Ginger Lynn, and Paul Thomas
Will always be icons to this business
Can't forget Vivid who are never silent as a church mouse,
With their celebrity titles as a powerhouse.
[Chorus: Singer 2]
Vegas, city of lights where careers are turned anew
Winning an AVN makes it official
Confirmation for your great work
Now the applause feels surreal
In receiving a trophy just to fuck for real
It's great to be in Vegas, Vegas, Vegas
[Bridge: Singer 2]
Thanks to Paul Fishbein for creating these awards
The ones given out by Adult Video News
All our love and best wishes to Ron Jeremy
It's time to recognize our industry.
All from here in
[Chorus: Singer 2]
Vegas, city of lights where careers are turned anew
Winning an AVN makes it official
Confirmation for your great work and professionalism
Now the applause feels so surreal
In receiving a trophy to just to fuck for real
It's great to be in Vegas, Vegas, Vegas.