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I Am an Elephant!

XCRITIC

Last week I was banged by a gang - a gang of five men. It came up rather impassively, as all my conversations with my agent goes. I'm sure most people have not experienced standing in the grocery store trying to buy lettuce with your agent on the phone asking if you'd shoot a gang bang. While checking to make sure the leaves look crisp and green, you ask him aloud how many guys are involved and if they want you to shoot anal. Then the lady next to you trying to pick out her carrots looks at you funny, and you realize you just blurted out butt sex words in front of two mommies and an 8-year old girl. Not all conversations can wait until you're in the privacy of your own home.

 

I will say that over the last few years of being involved in the adult world, I have gotten used to a few things a majority of the population would not think is normal. Like having every hole filled. This is not "normal" but I am used to it, therefore I find myself in situations where I remember a time when I wasn't used to having every hole filled. I admit, I miss it sometimes. For example, I was at a comedy show with all women comedians, so there were a lot of jokes about sex. There were jokes about women saying their men wanted anal sex and they were like, "Hell no, don't put it in my butt!" and there were jokes about how guys try to fuck you a certain way, and it sucks, and there were jokes about gossiping with your girlfriends about who's cock you sucked, and all that great stuff. I sat in the audience, and I don't think I laughed at any of the sex jokes. I felt like it was a bunch of jokes meant for monkeys, and every one in the room was a monkey except for me. I am an elephant. I guess I felt I couldn't relate. I don't find it hilarious the comedian's boyfriend wanted butt sex, and her reaction was one of horror. I just had five guys in my butt the other day… practically all at once. I have sex with men who know what they're doing. I no longer experience sex from novices, and I don't sit around with my girlfriends and talk about who's cock we sucked because honestly I don't care anymore.

 

Here I am at the age of 26, and I don't find any kind of shock value in a joke about anal sex, and that is a real shame. The reality is there are no more holes to fuck on a girl so what now? What will shock me now? Actually a lot of things will, but the day a normal girl gets on stage and talks about getting fucked by a horse, while sucking vomit and shit off another guy's cock is nowhere near. I wouldn't do any of that, but I'm saying this elephant would definitely laugh if someone else talked about that.

 

So the question is, how can an elephant life in a world full of monkeys? I can either wish I was a monkey or accept I am an elephant and be happy, which is just what I'll do. Or maybe you're thinking the question is, how did we go from talking about gangbangs to talking about elephants? The answer to that is, I'm not sure. It's just something amazing I do. So, now that you've witnessed me magically turn gangbangs into a very large mammal, I hope I can also amaze you with my new scene, involving five other men. It will release through Zero Tolerance sometime in the next few months. Enjoy!

 

-XO Chanel

elephant and monkeys in a tree

Chanel Presont


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