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The Miami Exxxotica Show Had Us Screaming O

XCRITIC

I had a great time in Miami with Schevelle, Chaz, and Suz... Thank you to the Screaming O for sending us there.

Miami, FL - After booking it from the West Coast and the Skylar Neil Golf Charity Tournament it was time to get back to work all the way on the other coast for Miami Exxxotica. This sexy city was a perfect host for such an event. They even had protestors, oh those horrible sexy people.

Tony and I were scheduled to do the popular Screaming O Show on stage, but in between we had fun with patrons in The Screaming O booth. This was the perfect viewing stand from which to see the parade of characters at this consumer-based event. It's common knowledge that the professional film stars will be entertaining, but, for patrons themselves to be just as entertaining is not as common. We were set up across from the "Legends of Exxxotica" which featured stars such as Nina Hartley and Sean Micheals, so the traffic was pretty constant. At one point I saw a man that had to have the biggest green lace one-piece unitard I have ever seen. This guy had muscles on top of muscles on top of muscles. Along with his movie star sunglasses and cowboy hat, he drew as much attention as the women who were film stars for decades.

Sitting there watching the pageantry before me, I thought about what it must be like to be a veteran porn star. As strictly a feature entertainer I know there is no "Legends" of anything for us, we are the small minority who work for a fraction of the pay always knowing in the back of our mind that no matter how good you are or how hard you try, you will be forgotten and replaced with little to no fan fair. But for these women, there is still a clear remembrance and recognition from fans. As a matter of fact, their fans were slightly different than the fans for the current film stars. I witnessed many men (and women) look at some of these women, especially Nina Hartley, almost with awe. A saw a man pace nervously back and forth like a caged cat waiting for her as she spoke to a fan. As soon as she was finished, he fervently pounced and placing himself inches from her face. This fazed her little. I realized at that moment that there is probably little to nothing that you can say to Miss Hartley that would surprise her. But you can look like an utter idiot trying, which many to my amusement did. I have a lot to learn in this industry, nevertheless I could look from a far and put together from little experience what was being said.  So, when the pacing man finally got there he talked her ear off and looked like we would wet himself. To Nina's credit she was a complete professional and handled everyone with the ease that only experience can give.

But seriously, what does one do after film. I thought about the current most recognizable face:Jenna Jameson, and well, we all see the way that is going, BUT...she is still working. However, is it like that for all? Does Tabitha Stevens garner the same wage for a job as say, Nina or Jenna? And who says when someone is still sexy and when it stops? There is no magical age of retirement. Women just seem to say the same thing, "I'm done" or "I want to have a family" or "I'm going to go to a super-duper Christian camp and completely change my life." Whatever the reason, in between selling vibrating O Rings and explaining to a guys that it's okay for a woman to have multiple orgasms even if it's with a cock ring, I pondered this thought.

As usual Tony rocked the stage with the famous Screaming O Fake Orgasm Contest which, kept people coming by the Screaming O booth to alert us to the fact that "That girl must fake it all the time" or "Was that girl squealing like a pig or what? So what is the Screaming O exactly?" And that was my "in".

We finished in the city of sex with a whole crew of novelty storeowners at a restaurant in South Beach. I can see the allure with the city. The appealing warm blue ocean, the multi-cultural influence, the beautiful people that abound everywhere, the twenty-five dollars a day for parking... I always get screwed on the parking.

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