This Time its Personal

January 31, 2010
NSFW.ARMY

This blog is going to serve as an
outlet for me. An outlet that, while more public, actually offers
more freedom to speak openly. I have my sex education blog and
I have my personal livejournal which actually gets almost no
attention these days. Both of these are read by my wife. And this
blog, as my wife and I discussed, would be different because it will
be a space that I am free to talk about things that she does not want
to read about because she will not be reading it. And if she chooses
to read it she knows that there is a very good chance that she will
see stuff she does not like. There is honesty (us talking about me
having a public writing forum where she does not visit) and then
there is the ability to get stuff off my chest in ways that I have
been able to in past relationships (they did not read my bloggings
and in fact I often would not let them), but have not been able to do
in this relationship because we met through blogging. And really, I
just miss being able to write stuff out in order to work it out. This
will be new though since there is the capacity for a much larger
audience here.

So some things you should know about
me:

I am queer. But what does that
mean? Most people (read: heterosexuals) think that that means that
I'm a lesbian. Oh how wrong they are. I used to identify as bisexual
but a few years ago I decided that that label no longer fit me. I
believe that there are many variations of gender, sex, and sexuality
and I am attracted to many, many of those variations. The bisexual
label left me with a bitter taste in my mouth because I don't
believe in binaries. Things are rarely just black and white. Also,
if I tell a hetero man that I'm queer he is like 100 times less
likely to ask me for a 3some or if he can watch. Sorry guys, but
that's just offensive and I got tired of the questions.
I'm a feminist. I hate that I have
to say this, but no, I do not hate men. I love men, but I also love
equality and I love being treated with respect. I expect everyone to
treat me with respect just as I treat everyone with respect (unless
they prove they don't deserve it).
I am married ... to a woman ...
no, not legally, but we did the whole ceremony and such so that our
friends and relatives would acknowledge us as an official couple and
so should you. Don't ask me questions about the legality of our
marriage or if its a "real" marriage. I will not entertain such
rudeness.
We are monogamous ... for now. We
have been together for 3.5 years and over 3 years of that has been
monogamous. This is going to be a big part of what this blog is
about. I would like to step forward into non-monogamy eventually,
but we're going to have to convince her and really myself as well.
Please respect our monogamy.
I am a sex educator. And as such I
know a ton about sex and sexuality. If there is something I say that
you don't understand, please ask. If I address a topic in one of
these blogs that I think people may not understand I will probably
include links to my sex education blog where I often explain stuff
like this. However, I would like to keep this blog and that blog
relatively separate. This blog's purpose is not for me to educate
you.
My wife and I are exploring kink.
I may know a lot about sex and sexuality, but there are some
definite blind sides that I am learning about first hand. The wife
and I are trying to navigate our way through BDSM, foot fetishes,
role playing, and sex clubs. There is a good chance that this blog
will talk a lot about this.
I am so freaking busy all the
time. I have one full time job, one part time job, one sex education
blog, lots of sex toys/books/porn/etc to test and review, and also a
wife and 2 cats to take care of. This means that I don't always have
as much time for sex as I'd like (nor does my wife, she's just
started writing her doctoral thesis) and that I never have enough
time to write everything that I want to. I'm really hoping that I
can find the time to dedicate to this blog that is necessary, but we
shall see.