Schevelle's G String Chronicles: Batman Breaks My AVN Cherry

Everyone remembers their "first time". Subsequent to this first time, we have clumsy times, not-good times,  hot times, and more experienced times, but no matter what happens in the future, we always remember the "first-time". This was my first time at the AVN/AEE show and I am sure it will be committed to memory. 

We arrived in Las Vegas after a two-day drive, in which Tony's phone was lost in Albuquerque, New Mexico, we stopped for coffee about seventy-six times, BUT we never got lost. Now, I am no Sacajawea, but this time we turned off the GPS and used the antiquated Atlas and it worked. We made into Vegas and it only cost us an iPhone to get there.

The first day of the AEE began and it felt like we were making a trip to Mecca with how far we had to walk to get to the convention. You get on the elevator, you get off the elevator, you take the escalator, you go up the stairs, you turn right, you turn left and proceed down a hallway the size of a football field (hang in there you're half way there), you go down the stairs, give the secret password to the big Italian guy and only then are you allowed to proceed and receive the sacred press pass. The first day was mainly for business and the fans were allowed to come in the next day. As compared to the Gentlemen's Club Owners Expo that I go to, this Expo dwarfed it in shear size. There was a barrage of imagery, with sizable booths from juggernauts like Adam and Eve, Jules Jordan Video, Vivid, Wicked, Digital Playground, Fleshlight, and Fyre TV. If daytime is the expo, nighttime is definitely the fun stuff... parties.

People need to be entertained and the people in this industry are no different. My first party at my first AVN was at the Erotic Heritage Museum in the Déjà Vu.  It was there that I beheld the first dildo (which was a stone), the first peep show (which was a wooden box rolled on wheels with squares cut out for viewing), and many odd and erotic pieces of art. Later we went to another party, because there are about two thousand parties each night. There is no possible way you could make it to each one and enjoy it, but it's fun trying. The parties were hosted by different adult companies, adult entertainers, and also directors. Jeff Mullen's party was in the Venetian but before we attended, we started in the Circle Bar where I met the lovely Monica Mayhem. Then our troop moved up the escalator to Mullen's party at Pallazo. We had Joanne from the Free Speech Coalition, the crew from Striptaculous, Donna, Aaron and Jess. Let me tell you about Aaron, he films for the Discovery Channel and he took my favorite picture of Tony. It turns out Aaron is not only a talented artist, but he had cancer and kicked cancer's ass! I was so happy to meet this guy and to think, he didn't even know if he was going to be there. Also in attendance was crazy Kiki Daire whom I met when I featured at the Lodge in Dallas and she was a trip there, too. Sunny Lane was also there and she agreed, as she so sweetly does, to take a picture with me, so I got another picture with Sunny Lane to add to my collection, sweet. Now, this is sort of what happens at the parties. You walk up to the big guy at the front and he ask for your name and then he makes sure you are on a "list" or you have a ticket then he removes the velvet rope and you go inside the club, where it is really crowded and everyone is drinking really expensive drinks. Then everyone wanders out to the lobby because there is more room out there and an impromptu party happens out there, which is more fun than the building you just got screened to go inside. The point is, if you're with fun people, it will be a fun time no matter where you are, and since Tony knew everyone, it was always fun.

For the rest of the week I signed in the Glamour Girl Magazine booth and Stripper for me.com booth. With the fans now in full attendance, there were constant traffic jams. If there was a thong, they stopped and took pictures. If there was a pastie, they stopped and took pictures. If there was an ankle showing, they stopped and took pictures.  At one point I left the booth to co-host the Screamin O Contest with Tony. Tony, as usual, gathers a crowd when he starts talking and he had volunteers ready to fake orgasms. He had a petite, cute girl, he had an "experienced" girl, a girl with more to love, and... a guy. The contestants did their best orgasm and the winner was.... THE GUY! Yes, Pedro had the best fake orgasm of them all. Tony is good at keeping people entertained and even better at encouraging orgasms.

Never one to stop working, Tony updated his site and we recorded our weekly syndicated show "Tales From Tony Batman" on Striptaculous until about four in the morning, then we were up and on the expo floor the following morning by eleven. Now, something to mention is that in our daily pilgrimage to the convention floor we fought with the onslaught of people. Not just people, but clueless people. I walked in a straight line and kept myself as streamline trying to slice through the crowd with as little drag as possible and like a shark out of the abyss someone would come at me at mach four with a with the determination of a line backer, arms swinging like a gorilla, and I would  move in order to avoid being shouldered. Is there some sort of course that they teach in Vegas, like how to bowl a small girl over in a convention storm 101? We finished up the day, as well as the week, with a photo shoot at about 11 o'clock in the Penthouse suite at the MGM with the one and only Martin. After the shoot we went downstairs for, are you ready for this? Two cheeseburgers, large fries and a coke at McDonalds!! Yes, I ate a cheeseburger and it was great! Andy from Private Dancer Magazine and Steve Nelson of AI News joined us in our eating frenzy and made for some hilarious conversation. I had a blast! That's how we did it rockstar style at my first year at the AVN/AEE, ladies and gentlemen.

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