1095: One-Thoudand-Ninty-Five

1095: One-Thoudand-Ninty-Five

That's in days or 36 months or three years however you want to break it down.

Yesterday was my birthday (thank you for the well wishes, but my parents actually did the work) and today I have a little post-birthday sugar-laced hangover. Not like a drunken hangover, because if you know me I don't drink, not allowed to. But rather, I feel a little beaten down.

I just kind of woke up in a funk and wanted alone time, silence you see, it can really wash over you when you want it too.

But I digress. Let me back up here for a moment....

As the clock scampered toward midnight last night, I lay in bed and thought to myself "self, you got three years." Three years what you might ask? Three years to get where I want to be and that's when it hit me, three years sounds like a lot, but when you break it down I got 1,095 days to work on me for me and by me.

So I crawled out of my warm slumber this morning, saw the snow on the grass, had breakfast with my girlfriend Ellen Degeneres - because she is hella funny and I watch her every morning with breakfast. She is on at 9 a.m. here by the way in case you were wondering.

And then I got to work (which is actually down the hall) on many reviews I needed to get done and I felt pretty good about that, because I am a bit ahead of schedule on those.

Then I e mailed Miss Penny Flame to confirm an interview we set up for tomorrow and she emailed me back all the way from Hawaii so I was pretty stoked. She is at the Islands because her birthday was last week, we are both pieces, fishes if you will, and I knew immediately I would love her. I actually got referred to Penny by other fantastic women I thoroughly look up to - Tristan Taormino.

Oh before I forget, Penny told me she was going whale watching today and I immediately was overcome with jealousy. I hope she takes some pictures for me. Maybe the whales will smile at her. Penny is a great writer to, so check her out.

Anyhow, back on track....

So I started researching Penny and there is a gob of stuff online about her, but what I really fell for was her love of painting and her blogs moved me to write. I mean really write, not for a magazine, no reviews, and no interviews just to write for me.

That's when it hit me like a thunk on the noggin. I need to write again for ME. Because I used to write short stories, essays and poetry all the time and I loved it. But then my hobby of writing became my career (damn that sounds professional.) I write everyday and I get sick of writing sometimes, but I miss writing at the same time. What a dilemma indeed.

I got a lot on my plate to earn a buck to pay the man and survive, but I need to be more disciplined for me to get better both mentally, physically and spiritually. Not like God or anything, just enjoy what I have laid in front of me. Which to the best of my ability is good friends and that's about it.

The last couple years I have enclosed myself in a world no one would really want to be but I painted a glorious picture, sometimes through white lies even, and I don't want to be that person anymore.

Every so often in my life I have noticed I have a cleansing period to rid away the negative energy that I have attracted like barnacles to a ship. And I think it is time for another period in my life to shed the negative people and things in my life. Then the 1,095 days will be easier to manage.

A a Big shout out to my good friends who always gives me uplifting encouragement and to a girl I hope to get to know as a good friend someday soon. Penny Flame.

XoXoX 

TROY