In recent years, the reviewers at X Critic have provided more in-depth reviews of all types than you'll find anywhere else on the web or in print. We strive to expand our reviewer pool in order to cover as wide a variety of reviews as is humanly possible while maintaining the standards you've come to expect of us. With well over 4500 adult reviews under our belt, we continue to recruit new reviewers to handle an ever expanding number of DVDs.
With all the advances made in recent months though, we still get a lot of mail asking questions as to how we rate titles, why one title gets a great write up while another is tossed into the also ran category, and scores of related topics. To address these questions for you, we have decided to start offering a semi-regular series of articles written by the reviewers themselves to help explain some of the basics involved with how we do things. As always, we encourage any constructive input you may have and ask that you write us at [email protected] if you think you have something worth mentioning (we're still looking for more adult reviewers too).
There's a general idea out there that all porn is alike and our reviews typically dispel that idea rather quickly for those who read our reviews. Aside from getting lots of cool free adult DVDs, all of our reviewers have a degree of wanting to steer you away from the lame titles and towards those they think you'll like. Unlike far too many other review websites, X Critic has a strict policy of reviewers writing what they think, pulling no punches in the process. There are upwards of 13,000 porn DVDs released every year and our goal is not to review every single one of them (although Don sure tries hard). No, we do our best to review the top titles from the top companies and give you a heads up on some of the new guys on the block too. Granted, some of the more sensitive companies get upset at times and stop sending us screeners; but unlike other websites, we want to establish a level of confidence and trust with you (and if that means pissing off a few companies trying to buy us off, so be it).
So our goal in this series of articles is to try and educate you on what makes for a good porno; how we approach reviewing; and to assist you in your purchasing or renting decisions. We know that every one of you has different tastes, like different flavor of the week women, preferred levels of sexual intensity, and other factors; mentioning many of them in our reviews. We'll try to answer why Camp Cuddly Pines is better than Rocco's Big Mess in our eyes just as we'll try to reasonably provide the not-so-mysterious formula that companies can apply in order to elevate the ratings their product gets. Again, we welcome constructive criticism and have now added links to all of our adult reviews so they can be openly discussed in the forums (much like the more mainstream titles have provided for some time now) but look for our articles on what works, what doesn't, and why we think what we do in coming weeks. We'll also try to cover topics raised by the questions you ask and adapt to requests you offer (this is your chance to help us improve). In closing, we appreciate your patronage and we'll try to live up to the standards you expect of us as we continue to expand our services in the future.
Thanks!
A lot of great titles were reviewed this past week and one of the most notable was Control,
Robbie D.'s attempt to break free of the formulaic porn he's been making for years now. The rules for the series are that there are no rules and you never know just what you'll get with each volume of the series. This first volume was special in that it had a great line up of ladies worth paying attention to from an early appearance by hotty Lanny Barbie to a special domination scene with Rita Faltoyano to a nasty little scene with Keri Sable before she signed her contract with Wicked Pictures.
Future episodes of this series will feature other great performers but Robbie pulled out all the stops this time to make a movie like he has never offered before, pushing the limits of the gals as much as legally possible to help the viewer lose control.
Okay, so you aren't into submissive but sexually aggressive women and want something a bit more basic? Okay, we had some titles that should offer you a sensation of fulfillment with Sperm Filled Sluts 3, Internal Discharge 2, Whore Gaggers 7, Cum Lust, and Yummy in my Tummy. Each of these titles have the ladies providing the proper resting place for their partner's semen; either by swallowing it down or by taking it in the proper spot "down there" after a lengthy bout of sexual misconduct. Both types of movie showcase that facials have been done to death and offer up something different that most of us enjoy in our personal lives though your mileage may vary depending on which kink appeals to you the most. It should be noted that the expression; "If at first you don't succeed, keep on sucking ‘til you suck seed" was the motto of many of the scenes in those flicks so check them out if that's your thing.
Lesbian sex is another area where fans can agree to disagree about what constitutes quality this week as our reviewers look at three top rated titles, two of them long running series, that each try something to set themselves apart from the other. In Jonni Darkko's Girls Love Girls, the driving theme seems to be Jonni's fascination with pairing the perfect partners in order to have hot, nasty sex. On the other hand, the appeal of Vivid's Where The Boys Aren't 17, shows that combining a large body of superstars, led by the fabulous Jenna Jameson herself, made flying the friendly skies a little bit friendlier than I remember them ever being. On that note, a little friendly competition between ladies competing for a cash prize as was the case in Pussy Party 13, showed that capitalism is not dead with a number of up and comers trying to win an extra $1000 by getting up and coming to the satisfaction of Cousin Stevie and his judges. We'll let you decide which one was the best of the batch but if you're looking for lesbian love; any of them will work wonders for you.
Proving that Volume 1 was no fluke, My First Porn 2 was another feather in the cap of Digital Playground as Jack continues his quest to make the perfect porno, albeit with the advice of everyone he meets. The series is already being talked about as the comedy series of the year as everyone's favorite music video director sets aside his beauty pageant antics, his musty old apartment, and finds out that his dream of making the perfect porno is subjected to the whims of an indifferent cast who admittedly know a lot more about having sex than the director. This volume stars Devon, Rita Faltoyano, and a cast of Latina hotties like Carmen, Evan Angelina, and Jasmine Byrne all ready to make some porn and line their pockets at Jack's expense.
While a mixture of hilarious comedy and gonzo sex often has great replay value, there are times when a guy just wants something down & dirty to get off to. In those cases, a straight out, balls to the wall approach tends to be preferred and that's where these next handful of titles come in. From Katja Kassin and Tiana Lynn in Man's Best Friend giving their all, to the foreign bred hotties of Hardcore
Whores, to the cast of Anabolic's A2M 7 
sucking ass juice off a man's freshly dipped wick; the titles in this section were not for the squeamish. Anal was the standard act and if the ladies had any limits, none were in evidence as they ripped through their scenes with the kind of gusto you'd hope to see from professional sex workers on the prowl. The replay value might not be as high as some of the other titles reviewed this week but you won't make it through any of them without spending some personal time with yourself- the mark of a good porno by any standard.
So, you're looking for some oral fun and you've been burned before by movies whose covers promised the goods but failed to deliver? That's understandable and a major reason why reviews exist in the first place; to help separate the wheat from the chaff. While some weeks are better than others, we had four worthwhile titles to look at this time, starting with Tony T.'s A Perverted Point of View #10 that alternated oral and other forms of sex (including lots of anal), continuing on with David Luger's POV Suck Off, moving on to Tina Tyler's Iron Head 5, and finishing up with Robert Lee's Clean My Crack. The first three offerings had a lot of POV camera work (or at least simulated point of view camera work) but all of them focused on oral antics of one sort or another. Fans of blowjobs and taste testing will appreciate them for what they offered, noting that barely a drop was wasted in the making of the titles.
While many of the other titles offered some interracial sex in them, only a couple of titles this week were recommended specifically for such a theme. That would include the Asian gals of Mr. Chews Asian Beaver 2, and the antics of some curvy hotties in Feeling Black 6. The spin in both of them is that the males were white while the females were of another race but don't let that stop you from enjoying the action as each title had a lot of variety to appreciate.
If you're looking for something a bit more in the spirit of Valentine's
Day, there are some excellent choices for you as well. First up was the
double disc set of James Avalon's She Bangs!,
where Sunny Lane plays an undercover cop willing to do whatever it takes
to make a bust of a drug kingpin, all in a tongue and cheek manner that
pokes fun at the porn industry on several levels. If you're one of her
legions of fans, this showcase piece of hers will have to be on your
must have list since she's in almost every scene in the lengthy comedy.
The second title in this genre was Celeste's Marvelous; the
pretty porn we've come to expect from the fledgling female director.
Showcasing the lovely Jesse Jane in five scenes, the vignettes were as
stylish as ever, using high definition photography and artistic effects
to enhance the mood for your loved one. Both choices will appeal to a
wide audience of men and women though; with the first offering more
hardcore sex and the second providing the kind of style some women
really like.
Last but not least were some titles that focused more on specific body
parts, from the perfect asses in Fine Ass Bitches
2 and Small Sluts Nice
Butts 5, to the heaving breasts of Big Natural
Breasts 6 to the feet of Brandon Iron's Ten Little Piggies
7. I'm flexible about the assets of the women I appreciate but each
of these titles caters to the niche advertised, often providing a better
appreciation for it than you'll find in other, more generic, releases.
in Asian Porn
In this week's short dedicated to the exciting gonzo genre, we're going to survey some popular series in the ever so popular Asian genre. What we are looking at includes Red Light District Video's Me Luv U Long Time, Devil Films's Tight & Asian, DVSX's Sakura Tales, Hustler's Asian Fever and Sin City's Whoriental Academy. None of these series offer really hardcore nasty gonzo action, but for those looking to see some attractive Asian babes get into action, these series offer some good stuff.
Red Light District Video's Me Luv U Long Time line has been my favorite Asian porn series for the last few years. The series originally began in 2002 and offers some great action for gonzo fans who are interested in seeing many Asian newcomers get into action. The very first two releases are a couple of my favorites. In general, the content offers plenty of faces who are new to the business (and a few old ones), and plenty of great sex. It also tends to be a little more hardcore than other Asian lines, but not nearly as nasty as some gonzo releases can get. Generally, I find that most of the girls that star in this line perform well and are great to look at.
Another gonzo line is Devil Films's Tight & Asian series, which has action that is on a similar level to the Me Luv U Long Time line. The first production in the Tight & Asian line was pretty recent in 2003. From the eyes of director Mike Metropolis, the series offers some decent content. The kind of action you can really expect includes some good clean sex with a touch of nastiness. While not really my favorite series, I have found that some of the action can be quite enjoyable. In addition, to this line, Devil Films also has another Asian series that gives viewers a certain perspective on sex. Their Asian POV line offers a first person point of view of the action.
DVSX's Sakura Tales is another series that takes the gonzo approach, except that it is no not even close to the same level as Me Luv U Long Time or Tight & Asian (in terms of nasty hardcore sex). Instead, the series has action that is much cleaner, but at the same time can be just as hot, and sometimes more. Through the eyes of Alex Ladd, a bunch of very attractive Asian babes bare all and do the naughty deed. The series also has a slight vignette feeling too it, as most scenes incorporate some kind of theme. Overall, the series offers a nice perspective when you just feeling like watching clean sex that is exciting.
Not all Asian series come in the gonzo variety. Hustler's popular Asian Fever series is more of a vignette style. Originally concocted in 2001 by director Ray Andersen, the series is well on its way past 20 releases. In late 2005, with volume #25, director David Aaron Clark took the reigns. The series is much different than other Asian lines, because most of the releases are actually filmed on location in Asia. Andersen also makes a point to get non-Americanized Asian babes. So in actuality, you're really getting to see what sex with Asian girls is like. However, the problem with this is approach is that the action doesn't always come off very good. You end up with a lot of girls who are really new to the business and many produce some fairly cold scenes. Still, the series has some great content for fans of Asian babes who are interested in more 'authentic' girls and clean and straightforward action. Although with David Aaron Clark, the cast sticks to more Americanized and gonzo styled action.
If both gonzo and vignette fail to catch your eye (or you're just looking for something a little different), Sin City's Whoriental Sex Academy just might be the ticket. Originally started in 2001, Whoriental Sex Academy gives viewers looking to see some clean and straightforward action in a feature format something to really enjoy. While I personal am not a huge fan of feature porn, this series has always impressed me. The stories themselves seem to vary in quality, but there always seems to be a few great performances (sex more so than acting) from some really great gals.
Titles
One of the more anticipated titles coming our way soon is Jack'sBig Ass Show , where the cover said: "Jack's at it again. But this
time, he's focusing in on hot babes with big, fun asses. It's more
cushion for the pushin'. Forget professional this volume is all about
ass, it's hot and kinky and Jack's found a new niche." Starring such
hotties as Jana Cova and Flower Tucci, can there be any doubt as to the
quality of the title. Look for the up coming review to see if the hype
matches the heat though our bets are firmly on heat this time.
Another title looking like a winner is Young
Harlots In London , where the cover said: "The young harlots are
coming of age and eager to discover their deepest darkest desires. A
lesson in unforgiving debauchery is about to begin." Our appreciation
for Gazzman's previous works aside, the cast looks to be a right proper
combination of domestic hotties and foreign babes so keep an eye out if
you like them young.
Everyone's favorite Puerto Rican Princess, Carmen Luvana,
is up next in a compilation of her earlier work made before she signed
her contract with Adam & Eve called I
Love Carmen , where the cover said: "Carmen
Luvana is one of the most stunning women in adult entertainment. This
Puerto Rican - American lust queen remains one of the country's top
starlets. She has an insatiable lust for cock as well as cunt. Blessed
with every conceivable attribute to entice and seduce all of whom she
meets. /I Love Carmen/ features eleven scenes with Ms. Luvana herself. "
Fans of younger women might find the upcoming review of Socal
Coeds #1 , where the cover said: "With so many girls eager for you to
watch them get banged out, there's no wonder why the west is the best!"
Naughty America is known for providing some of the youngest looking gals
in porn so this one certainly has a lot to offer on the surface and
we're looking forward to reading about its virtues by reviewer Namrufmot
soon.
Next up is what almost has to be a winner given the angel on the front
cover, Tiffany Rayne, in Salvation ,
a movie that claims: "Thomas Zupko presents a fantastical vision of sex,
sin and hypocrisy. Complete with stylistic imagery and narrated by an
erotic, seductive angel. Travel through time and experience seduction,
passion, and mankind's greatest sexual rebirth." I don't know about all
that fancy wording stuff but Tiffany's presence alone makes it one worth
checking out so we're looking forward to his review in the next week.
Fans of politically incorrect titles and curvy black ladies should be on
the lookout for Bang
That Black Bitch White Boy, where the cover said: "Watch these nasty
ass black bitches get reamed and creamed with hard white cocks!
Featuring oral, vag, anal, threesomes, DPs, and cumshots." Director
Michael Stefano has long been a fan of women of all sorts so you can
just about bet that he'll be doing his best to horn in on the action in
as many scenes as possible, tapping that ass like he's on fire if given
the chance.
Michelle Maylene
While Michelle Maylene has a relatively new face to porn, it is one that is hard to forget. Michelle is a young girl with a youthful appearance. She comes with a slender frame, a smaller sized rack and a drop dead gorgeous face. She first caught my attention when she was featured in Jordan Septo's F'ing Teens #2. Since then she has been featured in several other DVD releases like Young and Nasty #2, Mr Chew's Asian Beavers, Digital Sin's Seductions 23, Red Light District Video's Me Luv U Long Time #8, and Amateur Beaver Hunt.
What Michelle brings to the table (besides her great looks) are some talented bedroom skills. Watching her blow some guy can be an absolute treat, while hearing her moan while getting worked sounds like sweet music. Michelle is a rising starlet and definitely a girl you want to watch in action. It'll be interesting to see where her career takes her.
Titles
In a DVD that really provided the edge that others only dream of, Dementia 2 Donthought "it was way ahead of the curve if you like fetish clothing and
heated, passionate scenes with some elements of sexual abuse (pushing
the limits) for your viewing pleasure. The story was minimal; a gal
(Missy Monroe) marries her lover (Joel Lawrence), who proceeds to
introduce her to her own darker side of sexual depravity. Dementia 2
will not be for everyone. Essentially, people that will enjoy this will
be fans of the cast and fans of heated sex acts that push the boundaries
not only of good taste but of societal mores. Director Jim Powers could
not have found a better lead for such a movie and the entire cast,
particularly the females though, should be applauded for turning in some
very solid sex scenes. The technical matters were well done too; while
not perfect, they did manage to convey the mood of the scenes better
than if they had been "perfect" and I think this one had a lot of replay
value for fans of fetish gear and those wanting something a bit spicier
than average. In short, Dementia 2 is the kind of porn that will knock
your socks off while you spend some quality time alone watching it."
Our resident Latina expert, Michael Vega, claimed about Latin Adultery
1: "This disc highlights one of the reasons I LOVE Latinas. No,
silly, not because they cheat on their husbands. It's because, if you
push the right buttons, these lovely ladies was show you one hell of a
time in bed. In fact, the sex on this disc is so hot, it made me want to
give it a "Collector Series" rating. However, after I applied a cold
compress, I thought about it. X Critic's "Collector Series" rating
usually applies to discs that have exceeded our expectations of what
they should be. Was the sex on this disc hot? HELL YES. Was the
direction presented in a satisfactory manor? Yep. Any audio/video
issues? Nothing dramatic. The watermark on display in the bottom right
hand corner is annoying, but once Olivia and the girls get started,
you'll hardly notice it."
Don Houston pointed out that Once You Go Black
4: Director's Cut was: "One series that has managed to impress fans
and critics alike is the /Once You Go Black/ series by Evil Angel. It
was worth a rating of Highly Recommended for fans of interracial action
between studly guys and hot young women. If you like this type of thing,
it really should be on your list of movies to buy for all the DVD had to
offer. The technical aspects might've need some more TLC but the raw
energy put on display will certainly be enough to keep you hand engine
pumping for a lot longer than average. In short, Once You Go Black 4:
Little White Devils: Director's Cut was full of action, excitement, and
energy as well as a tremendous amount of fuck for the buck."
Goldenmuse gave her squeal of approval to Club Sin when
she said: "Ladies; wouldn't you like to own at least one down'n'dirty
disc that appeals to your aggressive side? You might call it your
divorce disc -- or your PMS porno. If so, "Club Sin" is the movie for
you. An adult version of "Fight Club," "Club Sin" centers around a woman
named Elsa who has started a most unique support group for divorced
women. In lieu of munching on bundt cake and languishing in Dr. Philish
philosophies, these ladies opt instead for vigorous rounds of public sex
with a bevy of handsome hunks at their disposal. OK; that works too. . .
Despite my admiration for these women and the overall production, I
admit the film's hard edge is at times overwhelming and eventually left
me feeling drained. Female fans seeking light, romantic erotica should
look elsewhere. Even so, the film does achieve a gonza edge without
employing force, violence or coercion -- and with a definite sense of
humor which reminds us that, in the end, it's all a fantasy."
Don also gave the nod to Tongues and
Twats "Tongues and Twats was among my favorite lesbian titles this
year for all that it offered from the very attractive cast of hotties to
the action that made them all look to be getting off to the generally
high end production values and spiffy extras. If I could have picked out
who'd couple with one another, I might've made a few different
selections but overall I thought the show was well worth a rating of
Highly Recommended. The biggest weakness lesbian scenes in porn have are
that the gals often appear to be in it for the money (so-called gay for
pay with lipstick lesbians). Having watched most of these gals do men in
a heated fashion, I can tell you that they might be truly bisexual and
they generally rocked in their scenes. In short, Tongues and Twats
offered the plethora of pussy that most fans would agree is sorely
missing in lesbian porn these days. If sequels to this one polish up the
technical aspects a bit, they'll be opening up a renaissance for New
Sensations."
The Dude was yet another of our reviewers taken with the quality of
Cousin Stevie's Pussy Party 7,
when he said: "Cousin Stevie is hosting a party. A pussy party. The best
kind of party. Cousin Stevie set up a competition between eight porn
stars to see who could perform the best. The competition would come in
the form of two groups of four women, an eight woman orgy, couples, and
then solo action. I think the viewer wins out with this disc. There is
so much content here I am amazed they fit it onto one disc without
having terrible film quality. The extras bump this disc up another notch
as well. Definitely a good buy."
With Anal Trainer
9, we said: "Anal Trainer 9 was well worth a rating of Highly
Recommended due to the energy of the lovely female cast, the extras, and
the overall quality of the production values. It wasn't perfect but I
can't deny the package being very solid with some great replay value. In
terms of fuck for the buck, I thought the DVD managed to shine as well
since the enthusiasm of the cast was infectious (okay, probably not the
best adjective to use in a movie where bodily fluids so frequently
changed hands) and the revival of the series may prove to be a great
business decision if Digital Sin can manage to make subsequent volumes
as blazing hot as this one. /Anal Trainer 9/ was something Digital Sin,
and the cast, can be proud of for all it had to offer."
Rob was appreciative of Dan Dapper's The Ole In &
Out release by Acid Rain when he said: "I was really happy with this
release. I thought four of the scenes (Alex, Haley, Shayna, Tyla) were
very exciting. Alone they make this DVD worth owning. The other two
scenes weren't as hot, but they weren't bad either. Overall, this is a
solid release that any gonzo fan should appreciate" and how it "offers
plenty of hardcore action, which is mostly anal and double penetration.
The opening oral bits are also very intense and rough, with lots of deep
throating, gagging, and tear jerking goodness. If you like seeing babes
who enjoy getting really violated, you'll want to check this release
out. It's hot!"
We end this week's blasts from the past with a look at Sport Fucking 4:
Collector's Edition, saying: "With a horde of hot women, some of the
best porn studs in the business, and a double disc set, the latest
release seems destined to join the others as primo stroke material for
raincoaters and frat boys alike. Sport Fucking 4: Collector's Edition
was well worth a rating of Highly Recommended if you like hot women, hot
sex, and a variety of playful scenarios that left the acting behind to
concentrate on energetic screwing. I thought the technical stuff was up
to speed and the level of intensity managed to give me the impression
that fans will be getting a lot of mileage out of the set. You have to
give Red Light District credit for listening to consumers and Erik
brings home the bacon with his tribute to providing tons of fuck for the
buck."
We'd love to read your comments and feedback on this column, Send us
your thoughts on other things you'd like to see in the space, or even
random thoughts about the world of porn. Drop us a line at [email protected].
Contributors to The Blue Room: Don Houston, Rob Randell, Goldenmuse.
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