Every Dick is Beautiful in its Own Way

But Please, Don’t Send Dick Pics via Social Media.

Before we get too far into the topic of dick pics and whether women like to receive them unsolicited via social media, let me state for the record that I am quite fond of penises. Some of my best friends have or have had penises. I watch gay porn professionally, so I am exposed to multiple penises at once, some of which are of heroic proportions. I’ve seen micro-penises, mega-penises, bifurcated penises, pierced penises, penises with foreskins, and penises without them.

Let’s be honest. I’ve seen a lot of dicks in my time, both captured on video, live on camera, and in person. But, like a purple cow, I’d rather see than be one. And that is why we find ourselves in this moment with me ranting about why it’s just fuckin’ rude to be sending out unsolicited dick pics, whether they’re going to other penis bearers or those who possess vaginas. Whatever our junk looks like, we’ve all got assholes but, once again, we don’t have to be one.

When I mentioned this topic on Facebook in anticipation of writing this blog, the response from ciswomen, cismen, transwomen, and transmen was prompt and well thought-out. It was also consistent in its ultimate conclusions. While none of us fully understood the motivation behind sending an unsolicited dick pic, we totally understood why someone would want to send a dick pic. What we didn’t understand or approve of was the photo in question arriving unsolicited.

What is the thrill of sending an unsolicited dick pic to a stranger? Does it work? Are there men who find this method of connecting with other people effective in getting their dicks wet? Are the senders of such content unattractive elsewhere? Do they think their erection, however impressive or lackluster, is their best feature? Is their hope to frighten or intimidate the receivers of their penile selfies?

Much may depend on two things: whether the person in question understands consent culture and what if any, sexuality community they call home. For instance, as the swinger community and the kink community cross paths with increasing frequency, their social etiquettes sometimes clash. Swingers are far more permissive about casual touch and an assumption that those attending lifestyle events are there to get their rocks off, be they girl rocks or boy rocks. This does not fly in the modern kink world, especially with younger generations who view consent as a religious sacrament.

That doesn’t mean that swingers are the only people sending unwanted or unrequested dick pics, but my experience is that it’s a community that tends to have more than its share of them in profile images on Fetlife. There’s a second group that seems especially determined to fill the inboxes of the kinda-innocent with their crotch smut, and I think they are often attracted by swinging and polyamory, which are sometimes confused with one another. I’ve met entirely too many men who announced that they became poly or a swinger because they couldn’t stop cheating on their previous partners. It’s possible they simply do not have good sense and do not have the patience or interest to learn about boundaries and negotiation.

Whatever the motivations for our close-up loving proud penis presenters, I’ve got a secret for them and it might up the chances of their meeting a real human being in, dare I say it, the flesh. Introduce yourself. Not with a “Hey, I’m (your name here). What do you think of my dick,” or “Hey, baby, I’ll give you a night to remember with this.” Try something that indicates you’ve read the person in question’s profile and aren’t some kind of pathological stalker. Nothing impresses a potential friend and/or lover more than feeling like an individual whose individuality has genuinely been seen and acknowledged, even if it’s just mentioning that you’ve both lived in the same state or wonder where they got that purple dildo in their image library.

Other advice? Consider writing in complete sentences whenever possible. Assume nothing about the stranger you hope to correspond with and, eventually, share photos of your glorious phallus with. While the idea of an NSA (no strings attached) hookup is very attractive in theory, the reality is often so much more disappointing, especially without honest communication. At least at a swinger party, you get to meet the person you want to show your penis to and they have an opportunity to consent or encourage you to find someone with different standards.

But when you make these meaty mistakes online and send a dick pic to someone who may not (yet/ever) want it, there’s no chance for the recipient to prepare or to be part of a decision-making process. Your chances of scoring are as low as your EQ in this area. In other words, it just makes you look like a big dick and a gaping asshole, neither of them doing anything enjoyable. And that’s too bad because penises can be fun and photogenic!