Only in Florida: Why Buy The Horse

Just Buy The Horse

In my column Only in Florida, I'll be taking you down to the Sunshine State for the latest and greatest sex stories that can only be found in the craziest state in the union.

We all have our things, our kinks, our interesting - call them whatever you want, but we all have something that really gets us going. From whips and chains to costumes and accents, with someone or alone, doing what you want to do with who you want to do with it is between you and the sheets on your bed. Though, there are times when your thing involves being in public... and a stuffed horse from Walmart. At least that was the case for one Florida Man who got off with a stuffed horse in Walmart.

Yes, Sean Johnson, apparently has a thing for doing it in public and doing it with stuffed horses. Though, I guess he could enjoy the company of other stuffed animals, but this time around it was a horse. As the police report put it Mr. Johnson:

“selected a brown, tan, and red stuffed horse from the clearance shelf in the garden department.” He then went to the comforter aisle in the housewares section, “proceeded to pull out his genitals,” and “proceeded to hump the stuffed horse utilizing short fast movements."

And then...

“achieved an orgasm and ejaculated on the stuffed horse’s chest area,” he placed the “soiled stuffed horse on top of a bed in a bag (comforter set) contaminating that property also.”

Mr. Johnson, who apparently didn't want to stay and cuddle, left WalMart before security caught him, but was arrested a short time later. Sadly, the horse was deemed to be "contaminated" and was put down... in a trash bag and most likely thrown away.

Be weird, be you, do want makes you happy, but come on, buy the horse and take it home first.

via the smoking gun