Morning Wood

· "From bondage to 'breath play' and zoophilia, it is not easy keeping up with society's fast-developing sexual trends." They're telling us? (abc.net.au)

· Time Magazine learns two important lessons: that posting an article on porn makes the virtual turnstiles rattle, and that using the title "Porn Again" for a smut-related piece is always a hit! (time.com)

· Why spend money on a fancy new cell phone when you can reach out and touch yourself courtesy of the phone company? Hands-free headset sold separately. (Boing Boing)

· Ron Jeremy shares the secret of his success with the Sunday Mirror: "It sure ain
t rocket science. I hide the bacon, squeeze the weasel, shoot the sherbet, and then the girl says,
Thank you
, and then I go off home.
Got all that? (sundaymirror.co.uk)

· We don't really have much to say about the newest crop of contestants in the Wicked Weasel bikini contest—but we figured you'd rather look at someone like Teine instead of Ron Jeremy so early in the morning. (wickedweasel.com)

· "When you grow up on a farm in Georgia, your first girlfriend is a mule" ... and other down-home sex stories from anti-abortion extremists. (newshounds.us - thanks Macki)

· News flash: Paris Hilton demonstrates anti-racist stance in new music video by standing there in a bikini. (Quick Time video @ asabailey.com, via Adrants)

· Think being a high school student with chlamydia sounds bad? Just imagine what those poor penguins must feel like. (japundit.com)

· As far as we can tell from this post, the French have finally perfected the art of distilling breast-flavored wine. A votre santé! (touchesexy.blogs.com + dom-brial.com)

· And remember ... nothing complements a fine wine better than a nice helping of Natalie's Cheesy Fish Bake! Just don't forget to save some room for dessert. (nakednatalie.com, via Creamlog)

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