Morning Wood

What better way to start your day than with some Morning Wood? If you just skip straight to the links when you read Fleshbot you may not have realized that I'll be guest editing around here for the next couple of days, or until I get fired for writing something something totally inappropriate. But until then, I remain Jesus Martinez ...

· Some dude in Kenya got caught stuffing a sheep last week—and I don't mean taxidermy. Of course, he claims the devil made him do it, which is always an excuse that works. (iol.co.za)

· If that story wasn't something you wanted to read about over your morning coffee, maybe these Beach Club Cuties will do the trick? After all, bikinis have a power to make everything OK. Feel better now? (fotzo.blogspot.com)

· A nice little article from a man who moved across the street from the Suicide Girls, who are the kind of neighbors I've always dreamed about having. (LA Times)

· Someone somewhere is probably getting off to these ads featuring Angelina Jolie shitting the cast of "Bewitched" out of her ass. Me, I just think it's funny. (WOW Report, via yeeeah.com)

· You can't go wrong with the Jessica Simpson "Dukes of Hazzard" Calendar, since the girl's got a pretty slammin' body and is dumb as hell to boot. What more could you want? (forum.phun.org)

· If women are really bigger SMS flirts than men, why do I never get any messages? Wait—don't answer that. (textually.org)

· Mermaids are a lot hotter that unicorns, but the only problem is that although they have a woman's upper body it's hard to figure out what you're supposed to do with the rest of them. Check out some pictures from this year's Mermaid Parade at Coney Island and help me figure it out. (Flickr, via thesexblog.com)

· Finally, I have no idea where I found this hot amateur posing, but I like her anyway. I've got a serious thing for amateurs. Who doesn't? (labombadechicas.webcindario.com)

-J. Martinez

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives / Wet Spots Archives