Marital Aid Test Kitchen: Kochi Japanese Anime Doll

Luckily the No Liquids or Gels rule went into effect after I'd jetted away to vacation with my Kochi Japanese Anime Doll.

I'm just saying.

Read more about my traveling companion after the gap. - G. Ponante

The wide, staring eyes of my Kochi, whom I rechristened Cho Cho-san so she wouldn't seem so cheap, appeared all the more shaming despite her sunny expression.

"You will not guilt me in front of your ancestors, Cho Cho," I said. I welcomed the possibility of the JetBlue agent searching my bag so I could stare at her defiantly. "It is a marital aid," I planned to say, "not a huge BOMB."

Unfortunately I never had the opportunity.

Cho Cho-san has a usable pussy, ass, and mouth, so you know, but nowhere in or on the packaging is it spelled out what those areas are to be used for. Dry goods storage? Buttons and pins? Dip?

It soon became clear that I was to put my cock in those holes, but the damning look on Cho Cho's face, combined with my fear of the possibility of her inhabiting my dreams, shooting tentacles through me, wetting my underpants, or projecting herself onto videotape, gave me pause.

Cho Cho, when properly inflated, leans at about five feet. Her skin smells like an exercise ball. While I believe members of the Lakers date women who have these exact qualities, it was difficult to imagine her inadvertent squeaks as I busted move after move on her person.

So I gave her to a bachelor friend of mine who happens to work for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority. He has a condo with very thick walls.

Love dolls have enjoyed exponential material improvement since their original Euphrates clay incarnations, and it is well known that General George Washington kept a wooden concubine named Young Sarah during his trying winter at Valley Forge.

That Cho Cho-nee-Kochi employs space age technology to receive my friend's love squeezings connects him through countless generations to other men who liked to ejaculate into things that weren't alive.

· Kochi Japanese Anime Doll (adameve.com)
· Vacation escort (gramponante.com)

Previously in the MATX: Njoy Toys, Big Blue Waterproof Vibe, Squirting Strap-On Dildo, The Monkey Rocker, Doc Johnson's Cuddles, 2 Tone Dual Delight, 5-in-1 Finger Vibes, Pleasure Pearl Masturbator, Rabbit Rider, The G-Spot Hot Handle, Heavy Love Balls, Pink Indulgence Massage Wand