DVD Review: “Barely Legal All Stars 7”

Culled from several episodes of the "Barely Legal" series, this seventh volume of the "All Stars" compilation is a crapshoot that pays off in unexpected places. At its worst, however, this movie is a study in how not to make a demo reel.

Read our review after the gap (especially if you like Belladonna).- G. Ponante

Barely Legal All Stars 7

Studio: Hustler
Director: Clive McLean, Erika McLean, Andre Madness, Van Styles, others
Cast: Memphis Monroe, Monica Sweetheart, Kayla Marie, Alexis Malone, Belladonna, Audrey Hollander, Cytherea, Kira Beckham

Review by: - G. Ponante

***

The "Barely Legal" franchise was launched by the late director Clive McLean. It was briefly taken over by his widow, Erika, after his passing, and is now helmed by Andre Madness.

While it would be foolish not to mine Hustler's huge library for frequent compilations, the opening scene, featuring current contract star Memphis Monroe, does not show the Kentucky pinup at her best. Directed by Erika McLean, this scene is clunky and the acting is poor even for porn. That the movie from which this scene was taken came out in January of this year, it is evident that there is a salvage job going on.

But the DVD picks up speed in later scenes, showing Clive McLean in inspired mode and, well, less so. An all-girl segment from 2004's "Barely Legal 50" is a powerhouse, featuring not only Belladonna (who was a few years more than legal even then), but also Cytherea, Monica Sweetheart, a long-haired Kimberly Kane, and Audrey Hollander.

Alexis Malone in a scene from "Barely Legal 31" (it seems like it should be from a decade ago, but it was only 2003) and an otherworldly peach grove scene with British Kira Beckham from "Barely Legal 43" (2004) show how differently porn was shot just a few years ago. There was a corninesss and imprecision to it that really required good performances to transcend the small budget and poor filmmaking. Sometimes it worked, and sometimes I wondered where these performers disappeared to.

Kurt Lockwood and Nadia Styles show up in a "BL" variant directed by Van Styles. Also from 2004, "Barely Legal Corrupted 1" looks more like today's type of product. How this fits in to the "BL" theme I don't know, but Styles' style is a lot slicker and less hokey. No peach picking here.

The movie concludes with a ranch scene from "Barely Legal Summer Camp" (2003) featuring Simone. She fucks a ranch hand while we and horses watch.

If "Barely Legal All Stars 7" were the Arthurian Legend, the one brief shining Camelot moment would doubtless be that round table with Belladonna and Monica Sweetheart and friends. It is the only scene which qualifies as an all-star outing.

· Hustler (hustler.com)
· Buy "Barely Legal All Stars 7" (adultdvdempire.com)

Previously: Porn Valley Dispatch Archive