· Lindsay Lohan's Weight Loss Tip #37: When jogging, try to choose busy public streets, wear proper attire—bikini and high heels, of course—and don't forget your cigarette. (egotastic.com + wwtdd.com)
· Thank goodness Keeley Hazell is alive and well, and able to erase that image from our minds. She can always save our day. (page3.com)
· Danielle Lloyd is being sued for besmirching the title of Miss Great Britain. Sorry, but we prefer our titles smirched. (manchester.com)
· A "hooker to the stars" is murdered in London, possibly by a jealous ex-boyfriend. Rabid speculation about who those stars are should keep the tabloids busy for awhile. (thesun.co.uk)
· If you think public access TV is boring, you've haven't seen "Gulf Boulevard," starring Bob Gardeski and his videotapes of over 400 swimsuit competitions. Now that's good television. (sptimes.com)
· Does it really seem fair that police investigators can bust strippers for prostitution after having sex with them? The "we need more evidence" line only works so many times. (sbsun.com)
· If the purpose of this story is to warn young girls about predatory lesbians who will seduce them at school, why does it read like a Penthouse letter? Heck, we want to join too! (eastandard.net)
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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives