Marital Aid Test Kitchen: My First G-Spot Kit

The transition, I'd imagine, from just shoving any old thing up there to the quest for one's own G-spot is a solemn one. While Hustler should have included a soundtrack by Elmer Bernstein and an audiobook instruction manual featuring Gregory Peck, its "My First G-Spot Kit" actually provides a bare-bones set of tools and text for getting there. Read what we have learned about the product after the gap. - GP

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I think there must be some directive emanating from The Hague that dictates the etiquette of including batteries. Whenever a marital aid calls for weird-ass watch batteries, they are included. If something can be purchased at the corner, you're on your own.

The My First G-Spot Kit requires two AA batteries to run its clickable pink controller, so I trudged through the snow (I'm assuming it was snow) to the local Mobil.

"Hustler's My First G-Spot Kit?" the gas monkey asked as he returned my change.

"You know it," I said.

The Kit, as we call it at home, consists of the aforementioned controller, a bullet vibe, and a thumb-shaped G-Spot getter. The latter two devices plug into the controller via a wire and a 1/8" plug. One cannot plug in both at the same time. I assume this is because of our Puritan resistance to too much pleasure.

"The G-Spot is located in your vaginal wall, about 2 inches above your public bone," say the instructions. "You'll know when you find it, because it will feel different from any other area when you apply direct stimulation."

I have a natural reluctance to bring marital aids into my home when their fleshly analogues might suffice with a little effort, but I was comforted by the fact that even my arachnodactyly couldn't compete with The Kit's G-Spot bumper.

Once the batteries were inserted (in the controller), the device could be ratcheted up and down through seven settings of "pulsation and vibrartion", which is Hustler's proprietary style of vibration, and the device did not fly into bits.

Remember that My First G-Spot Kit is sold as a novelty only; it should not be used to substitute for a caring, mutually supportive relationship.

· My First G-Spot Kit (edenfantasys.com)
· Topco (topcosales.us)

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Previously: Marital Aid Test Kitchen Archive