Breaking: Britney Spears Not Even Trying Anymore

Shame on you celebrity boobie bloggers. We rely on you and your generous tips to alert us the second any see-through blouse, a cold breeze, or an errant bra strap unveils even the slightest hint of rich or famous nipple. Yet there we were, wandering aimlessly around the web when we stumbled upon the latest and greatest wardrobe malfunction from one Miss Britney Spears. And where did we find this bounty? A freakin' girly blog. That's right, our increasing slutty little sister, Jezebel, scooped us in our Celebrity NippleWatch™ duties. It's not like we have anything brilliant to add about the world's greatest living trainwreck pulling a Tara Reid in the middle of Hollywood Boulevard, but it's the principle of the thing you know? We thought they were going to write about ribbons and perfume and stuff like that. Between this, their secret laundry porn fantasies, and their thoughts on the New York Times love letter to spunk (which frankly has left us all a little unsettled), we're starting to wonder if we should stop taking our bosses' phone calls. As long as no one tells those chicks about the tentacles, we think our jobs are safe.

· You've Got To Admire Her A Little Bit Because Miss Britney Jean Spears Obviously Doesn't Give A Shit + Laundry Baskets: Good Things To Have, But Not As Sex Props + All About Sperm, And A Whale Of Disturbing Phrases To Describe It (Jezebel)
· A Salute To Sperm (Gawker)

Previously: Wet Spots: Britney Spears Nailed By The Bra Police, Morning Wood: Britney Spears, Fashion Icon, Britney Spears: Off The Deep End?