Kylie Ireland’s “Bitch And Moan” Is Not For Whiners

Knowing Kylie Ireland as I do (she once prevented her dog from eating my Wheat Thins), one has confidence that her movie "Bitch And Moan 2" will not be some by the numbers effort featuring lesbians-'til-graduation pouting for the camera in fake alarm. Instead, she gets genuine surprise out of people like Roxy DeVille, Aiden Starr, and Eva Angelina as terrible, wonderful things are perpetrated on their persons.

Scene One features a tuxedoed Ireland playing Master and Servant with Roxy DeVille. At one point Ireland must retrieve something the loss of which can't be explained by gravity.

Only Ireland's penciled-on John Waters moustache distracts from the scene. So I just closed my eyes and thought of Baltimore.

The beauty of this movie is that, even if you feel you would be turned away had you showed up with your testosterone and Manifest Destiny, you would still have the consolation that the women were doing to each other everything you would have. It is as if you wrote your suggestions on little notecards and they were duly considered.

Trinity Post and Amber Rayne leave Kissy Kapri in the dust in the bendy department, and the latter takes her revenge by slapping the hell out of Rayne, who doesn't seem to mind.

Eva Angelina is like Ireland's South of the Border younger sister. I have the impression Ireland didn't have to direct her much in her scene with Sammi Rhodes.

Cruel Aiden Starr opines in the final scene, as a box of toys arrives:

"You know sometimes if their cock is too small you gotta put a butt plug in your ass to feel it?" she asks Jandi Lin and Tricia Oaks.

... and that is the only thing that made me sad. Next time I see a butt plug I won't think, "Ooh: a butt plug." Instead, I'll think, "Someone's parts are small."

· Adam And Eve (adameve.com)
· Kylie Ireland (kylieireland.com)
· Buy "Bitch And Moan 2" (gamelink.com)