Bai Ling’s Nipples Are Keeping The World In Balance

We were sitting around this morning, trying to figure out why, exactly, Bai Ling can't make a public appearance without showing off her nipples—hey, it's what we're paid to do!—when suddenly it dawned on us.

Somewhere, in a remote part of the world, there is a primitive tribe that worships Bai Ling as a goddess; and, more importantly, Bai Ling communicates with that tribe by flashing them her nipples. Were she ever to go out in public with her nipples completely covered, the tribe would assume that their deity had abandoned them, and chaos would ensue. Granted, we haven't really figured out how this tribe—being primitive, and in a remote part of the world—receives its nipple-laden missives from Ms. Bai Ling, but we're still pretty sure that this this the most logical explanation there is for Bai Ling's behavior.

Unless she just likes the publicity. It could be that, too.

· Bai Ling Topless Pictures are Dangerous (egotastic.com)