Porn Without Borders: “Fresh Off The Boat 2”

June 16, 2009
LANK

For me, "fresh off the boat" conjures images of Wu Tang Clan disembarking the Staten Island Ferry. That is why the eager, sullen, exotically shaved lovelies of this movie appeal to my mail order bride fantasies.

And "fantasy" is the right word, because none of "Fresh Off The Boat 2" was filmed in the United States. Furthermore, there is some evidence to suggest that these prostitutes and/or AV Girls from Japan, Thailand, Colombia, and Brazil have never set a stilettoed heel on a boat.

Grams, you might say, does this mean that producers of this event are lying, that we don't get to sample the naive immigrant experience?

No, Grasshopper. It means that these postmodernist auteurs have turned the FOtB paradign on its head.

So it is you, the viewer, that is himself (let's face it, your girlfriend shouldn't know) fresh off the boat (2) in this situation, padding through unfamiliar terrain in search of women who have never heard of Tera Patrick (or Biohazard), don't know Chatsworth's zip code, and couldn't care less who was at the FAME Awards.