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Eye-balling: “Splashes on Glasses 2”

PORNSTARS

One of the unlikeliest niches, that of sex culminating in ropey volleys lobbed across the cosmetic (rarely prescription) eyewear of pornstresses, has made it to a second edition just in time for Christmas! Could "The Golden Compass" do that? No.

We're all guardedly unapologetic about liking porn (for example, many of us hasten to say things like "except with animals" or "never on Sukkot" or "unless my ex-wife or ex-fiancee are in it") but a movie like this, which is just as good as any other five-scene Porn Valley gonzo but which has that little something extra, underscores the fact that the cornerstone of all porn, the visible cumshot, here marks both the model and something she owns.

It's like Monica Lewinsky's blue dress, except higher.

What is it about glasses? Why can't it be a hairband or some earrings? Why not pulling out of Andy San Dimas (not that I would) and dropping a load in her purse? Doubtless 2010 will see a flourishing of Pocketbook Porn.

In any case, director/performer Mick Blue should seek sponsorship from LensCrafters for the gratuitous shots of girls' fashion frames. London Keyes gets the fright wig treatment (in which a black-haired woman's hair is radially laced with sperm for a Bride of Frankenstein effect), Hillary Scott proves how much of a pro she is by keeping her eyes open during her post-DP unloading, and Monique Alexander does things she never got to do at Vivid (though she does steal Nina Hartley's look in this picture).

And I'd say more about Aletta Ocean, but my glasses were off by that point.

· 3rd Degree (thirddegreefilms.com)
· Buy "Splashes on Glasses 2" (gamelink.com)

Eye-balling: "Splashes on Glasses 2"3rd Degree (thirddegreefilms.com)
Buy "Splashes on Glasses 2" (gamelink.com)
Eye-balling: "Splashes on Glasses 2"3rd Degree (thirddegreefilms.com)
Buy "Splashes on Glasses 2" (gamelink.com)
Eye-balling: "Splashes on Glasses 2"3rd Degree (thirddegreefilms.com)
Buy "Splashes on Glasses 2" (gamelink.com)
Eye-balling: "Splashes on Glasses 2"3rd Degree (thirddegreefilms.com)
Buy "Splashes on Glasses 2" (gamelink.com)
Eye-balling: "Splashes on Glasses 2"3rd Degree (thirddegreefilms.com)
Buy "Splashes on Glasses 2" (gamelink.com)
Eye-balling: "Splashes on Glasses 2"3rd Degree (thirddegreefilms.com)
Buy "Splashes on Glasses 2" (gamelink.com)
Eye-balling: "Splashes on Glasses 2"3rd Degree (thirddegreefilms.com)
Buy "Splashes on Glasses 2" (gamelink.com)
Eye-balling: "Splashes on Glasses 2"3rd Degree (thirddegreefilms.com)
Buy "Splashes on Glasses 2" (gamelink.com)
Eye-balling: "Splashes on Glasses 2"3rd Degree (thirddegreefilms.com)
Buy "Splashes on Glasses 2" (gamelink.com)
Eye-balling: "Splashes on Glasses 2"3rd Degree (thirddegreefilms.com)
Buy "Splashes on Glasses 2" (gamelink.com)
Eye-balling: "Splashes on Glasses 2"3rd Degree (thirddegreefilms.com)
Buy "Splashes on Glasses 2" (gamelink.com)
Eye-balling: "Splashes on Glasses 2"3rd Degree (thirddegreefilms.com)
Buy "Splashes on Glasses 2" (gamelink.com)
Eye-balling: "Splashes on Glasses 2"3rd Degree (thirddegreefilms.com)
Buy "Splashes on Glasses 2" (gamelink.com)
Eye-balling: "Splashes on Glasses 2"3rd Degree (thirddegreefilms.com)
Buy "Splashes on Glasses 2" (gamelink.com)


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