Poor Mrs. Claus has to wait the whole year for her hubby to leave so she can finally whip out her dildo. He needs to get out of the house more often.
It's not that Santa has a problem with masturbation, or feels threatened by a large, fake phallus, he's just very strict about only having elf-made toys in his home. As much as Mrs. Claus sympathizes, those tiny hands are better suited to making wooden trains than they are to satisfying a woman's needs.
· Merry X-mas in Japanese - Countdown 1 (xtube.com)