Five Fleshbot Approved Romantic Getaways

Valentine's Day is only a few days away, have you made plans yet? Why not escape with a loved one (that includes your hand) on one of these glamorous, amorous vacations?

And hey, even if it's a little late for Valentine's, you can still make that special someone happy for Steak and Blowjob Day or Cake and Cunnilingus Day! After all, there's no bad time for love, and—as you're about to see—there are so many stimulating locations for love-making.

· Cover star: Lavish Styles, via Big Naturals (realitykings.com)

For the traditional couple...

What could be better than staying in bed all day for Valentine's Day? Well, for starters, the bed could be a rental so you don't have to clean up. And better yet, the bed could be a cave, or a sarcophagus, or it could even reflect your gambling addiction. Thanks to FantaSuites, the only limit is your imagination!

If you want the hotel room without the theme, that's cool, too. Many hotels have begun stocking their Mini Bars and room service menus with Intimacy Kits. They're usually stocked with condoms, lube, and perhaps breath mints. The Gansevoort Hotel in New York City supplies a "Mile High Kit" for $20 that includes the aforementioned plus massage oils, a personal massager, and a feather tickler.

· FantaSuite Hotels (fantasuite.com)
· The Gansevoort (hotelgansevoort.com)

If you're not afraid to trade...

Hit the high seas with a boatload of swingers! If you've been forging a solid relationship based on trust and respect, then you should be able to swap partners with complete strangers on a cruise ship. The good people of SwingersCruise.com organize excursions like these on boats big and small, so remember that not everyone on your ship is there to swing.

· SwingersCruise.com | Cruises for Swingers (swingerscruise.com)
· Dramatization pic via Club Sandy (clubsandy.com)

Because the journey is the destination...

Maybe you don't feel like going anywhere, or maybe you're obligated to go on a business trip somewhere boring. That's ok! Take your partner along with you and join the Mile High Club! But don't do it on any old plane, we recommend Virgin America.

Why Virgin? For starters, the sleek purple/pink mood lighting reflecting off the leather and hard white plastic creates a bizarre nightclub feel that is both soothing and exciting. And since every seat sports a keyboard you can use in the onboard chatroom, you can spit game at fly honeys in first class without pushing past the stewardess.

If all else fails, you can watch great films on their interactive media player, Red. The last time one of our editors took Virgin, an extended viewing of "Lust, Caution" motived him to join the Mile High Club (Solo Aviator Division).

· Virgin America (virginamerica.com)
· Pic via Hungarian Honeys (nshoneys.com)

For the love that gives your heart license to soar...

Is turbulent lavatory love not your thing? Have sex in a zero gravity environment! In the now classic film, "Private Black Label: The Uranus Experiment," Silvia Saint sucks off Nick Lang while the pair is on a free falling plane. Obviously, the best part about going to space is getting your weightless rocks off, so why not recreate the experience? Buy you and your loved one a ticket on a commercial Vomit Comet.

The Zero Gravity Corporation offers such flights for reasonable (er, enormous) prices. Your ticket includes 12-15 parabolic free falls, your own flight suit, extra swag, a certificate of weightless completion, and photos and video of your unique experience (so you can quickly and efficiently upload your romantic time to XTube). Best of all, no cleanup! It's not your specially modified Boeing 727.

· Book your tickets at Zero G Corporation (nogravity.com)
· Or you could just buy "The Uranus Experiment #1" (gamelink.com)

If you've got a thing for having sex in the bathroom...

Mildred's Temple Kitchen, a restaurant in Toronto, is pimping its bathrooms out as perfect perches for Valentine's Day trysts. Toronto Public Health officials say they're cool with it, and the restaurant even said they'd provide a maid to keep it extra clean.

Sadly, soon after the offer went out, Mildred's said they were joking. Nonetheless, they are offering a special menu rich with aphrodisiac oyster hors d'oeuvres and special "Lady and the Tramp"-style spaghetti and meatballs served on one plate. For a nominal fee, they also provide a gift basket of cookies, pecan squares, and a pair of fuzzy handcuffs. So maybe they were joking, but we say take the handcuffs to the bathroom and show them what a happy Valentine's Day really is.

· Mildred's Temple Kitchen (templekitchen.com)
· Pic via Bathroom Portraits (NSFW) (villagevoice.com)