Fresh Like Easter Bunnies: “Brand New Faces 24”

April 6, 2010
LANK

Porn's transition from Gen-Y to Millennials has yielded a dilemma: even when Vivid can swear out an affidavit certifying that performers in "Brand New Faces" haven't fucked on film before, there's always some ex-boyfriend who's got cellphone photos proving otherwise.

Brand New Faces 24

It reminds me a little of the Kentucky Derby (less than a month!): those three-year-olds are already pros. So when I look at something like "Brand New Faces," these women are almost indistinguishable from their peers with 20 more movies under their belts.

There's the fake boobs, the stripper moves, the Playboy tattoos. Now and then we get some unpracticed glances, but the real appeal of this well-shot and intimate Vivid series is its context: these women are about to embark on an adventure that starts today and will never be forgotten, whether it is by fans or by the school districts to which they apply for employment in a few years. Whee!

My favorite new face (and everything else) in "BNF 24" belongs to Uma Stone, who reminds me of a cross between Sunny Leone and Audrey Bitoni, except Spanish-speaking.

Oh, that's right: "Brand New Faces 24" is the all-Latin edition, so make sure you watch it simultaneously with the Pope's Easter Message from last Sunday (you TiVoed it, right?).

· Vivid (vivid.com)
· Buy "Brand New Faces 24" (gamelink.com)