If You Love Allie Haze, Set Her Free, Nina Hartley

"I could let you run off with some bimbo who can't even spell," says confident but heartbroken Nina Hartley to sexting Allie Haze in "Legends And Starlets," "or I could show you why you're with me in the first place."

Frankly, I'm not sure why Jay-Z-loving coed Allie Haze is with New York Times-reading, Pachelbel's Canon-listening Nina Hartley, either. But the point in this scene from Nica Noelle is that Hartley must now win the younger woman back-by any means necessary.

But how they got there isn't important. Maybe Nina saved Allie's horse in a barn fire? Who knows. What matters is that Nina must rekindle brown-nippled Allie's interest.

"I don't give up that easily," says Nina.

I'm not sure if this relationship can last, what with Nina's NPR and Allie's social networking, but maybe they can accept this moment for what it is, and Allie can make sure she pays Nina the money she owes her before she runs off.

I made up that last piece of backstory, but it's only because this scenario made me think.

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