Porn For Straight Girls, A Coming Out Party

Readers, I have a confession. You may have been mislead by my ambiguous moniker, but I am actually a girl. A straight girl, in fact. With that dramatic revelation: the first of my weekly suggestions for Porn For Straight Girls!

It's impossible to find porn that appeals to all straight women, just like it's impossible to find porn that appeals to all straight men. My picks are based on what I personally enjoy, and that doesn't adhere to any scientific or mathematical formula. There are some widespread beliefs about what straight girls want to see in porn. These beliefs include: good acting, convincing storylines, affection between sex partners. I don't necessarily look for any of that, though they can be engaging aspects of a good film. I want to see, primarily, enthusiasm (from both parties), creativity, and a sense of humor.

That's why my first pick for Straight Girls might seem a little out of left field: Evil Angel's "Evil Anal 11," starring Manuel Ferrara, Tori Black, Kayla Carrera, Amy Brooke, McKenzie Lee, Tara White, Mick Blue, Denis Marti, and Michael Stefano. This is down and dirty, gonzo-style, hardcore anal porn. There's double penetration. There's a threesome. There are all sorts of horrifyingly large objects being shoved into unbelievably small orifices. But it's so good.

First of all, the premise is ridiculous. Manuel Ferrara informs us, the viewers, that he suffers from an obsession with anuses. In order to work through this problem, he goes to see a psychologist (McKenzie Lee), and obviously ends up jamming his cock in her ass moments later. At this point, he basically abandons any pretense at a storyline, and just goes around looking for more and more asses to fuck. This is a good thing. Too often, performers get caught up trying to stick to the "character," and the sex suffers for it.

The bulk of the film focuses on Manuel trying to coerce Tori Black into letting him put bigger and bigger things in her ass, culminating in his cock. The banter between them is hilarious. Tori spends the bulk of their conversations saying, "Manuellll!" in a remonstrative but teasing way. I couldn't stop laughing. It gets to the point where you're rooting for Manuel just so you can see more of Tori's protests.

Whether or not you're down with actually having anal sex is immaterial to enjoying the film, because at a certain point the sex spirals so out of control it's as if the performers are in a bizarre competition with one another. After I got over my shock of how much Tara White's insides I could see, I was glued to the screen, practically cheering her on. I was so disappointed when Amy Brooke showed up with a goose and didn't get the entire thing up her ass. I felt cheated!

Anyway, that's what I, token Straight Girl, want out of porn: something hot, heavy, and funny to boot. It's not about an overwrought story that happens to have a lot of sex; it's primarily about the fucking. What do our Straight Girl readers want to see next week? I'm all ears (well, eyes).

· Thumbnail from "Life Love Lust," courtesy of Lust Films (erikalust.com)
· Buy "Evil Anal 11" (store.fleshbot.com)