Dirty Dreams And Dry Humping On “True Blood”

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Pity Jason Stackhouse: this is a man whose penis is constantly getting him into trouble. He's having sexy dreams about being ridden by Jessica, and even though she's his best-friend's girlfriend, he's really into it.

However, Hoyt's presence as a critical force in the dream means that there is a part of Jason (albeit a small one) that wants to resist fucking this cute, redheaded vampire because he knows that it's wrong. Not that we're saying fucking vampires is wrong—this is an old debate that no one even bothers with these days because everybody either wants to be a vampire or have sex with a vampire—we're just saying that you can't forsake your friends for sex with an immortal.

· "True Blood" (hbo.com)