Freddy Got Fingers: “A Wet Dream On Elm Street”

What do the slasher movies of the 80's promise but not deliver? Extended footage of boobs. The giddy "Wet Dream on Elm Street" compensates with enough senseless nudity so that you'll never have to think of Englund again.

A Wet Dream on Elm Street

Director: Lee Roy Myers
Starring: Anthony Rosano, Jennifer White, Charley Chase, Sophie Dee, Giselle Leon, Gracie Glam, Tommy Pistol, Chris Johnson

Review by: Gram Ponante

It's the 2-year reunion of Elm Street High, according to the sign ("Welcome 18+-year-olds to the Elm Street High School Reunion"), and Betty (Sophie Dee) wonders why only she, Charley Chase, and Gracie Glam bothered to show up. Professor Tommy Pistol reminds them that they forgot all about the "sexual comas" that killed off their graduating class, as perpetrated by burned and beaten former shyster sex toy salesman Freddy (Anthony Rosano).

Lee Roy Myers' "A Wet Dream on Elm Street" is absolutely ridiculous and impossible not to enjoy. Appearing to women in their sleep as he caresses them with cruel dildo fingers (we watch Freddy's origin story as he is chased down by an angry mob for selling overpriced marital aids), Rosano's Freddy is as quippy as Robert Englund was in the umpteen originals, except the porn adaptation delivers all the nudity a generation of frustrated teen audiences was denied by Wes Craven.

The loosely-structured plot culminates with Sophie Dee's post-coital disarming of Freddy. Before that we are treated to scenes with the lovely Jennifer White, the built-for-business Charley Chase, and the outrageous-nippled Giselle Leon in scenes that don't have too much to do with the story but Who Cares? What's important in this movie is that a gleeful mood is established early, and then girls you want to see naked become that way.

For example, the movie begins with what is retroactively a throwaway scene. Jennifer White has sex with her boyfriend (Chris Johnson, who is never heard from again), and then she is woken up by Freddy.

"Edward James Olmos! I can't believe it!" she says.

"Why can't anyone ever mistake me for a burnt Brad Pitt?" Freddy grouses to us.

Not everyone could have pulled off this silliness, but Rosano and Pistol are such scenery chewers that you're vicariously happy about the good time they seem to be having, and people like Chase and Dee are such fun girls already you know they're on board for the clowning around.

I received the "Collector's Edition" of this movie, which means I didn't illegally download it. The extra disc includes Rosano-as-Freddy delivering relationship and sex tips, a "How Freddy Was Made" sequence, and Behind the Scenes footage demonstrating just why all these women should be your girlfriend.

· Tom Byron DVDs (tombyrondvds.com)
· Buy "A Wet Dream on Elm Street" (gamelink.com)