It's Halloween, but that doesn't mean you have to watch "Halloween" again. Yes, we love watching Jamie Lee Curtis's boobs too, but it's time to diversify your taste in softcore horror films. As always, Netflix is here to help.
Now, it's pretty hard to find Netflix Streaming titles that A) are horror films, B) have nudity, and C) are actually sexy and aren't just utilizing one or two boobs to set-up for a big gore splatter. In fact, the only titles that fit these three criteria are sketchy B-movies—none of which are longer than 87 minutes. Trust us though, we wouldn't steer you towards something completely worthless, and if you really hate these titles, you and your friends can have a "Mystery Science Theater 3000" style smack-talking session!
1. Bikini Girls on Ice: Admittedly, there isn't a ton of nudity in this film (and we've already seen what little there is), but what it lacks in nakedness it more than makes up with gratuitous bikini action. Honestly, this movie wins us over with this amazing summary: "When a bus-load of women's college soccer players get stranded on their way to a bikini car-wash fundraiser, they decide to set-up shop in front of an abandoned gas station on the edge of town. Little do they know the place is the stalking-grounds for a homicidal maniac mechanic named Moe."
2. Bachelor Party in the Bungalow of the Damned: Have you ever seen a title this spectacular? We certainly haven't. The story is about a group of dudes who rent a bungalow in the Hamptons without knowing that it's damned. Then some evil strippers show up. Then the bachelor's fiancee shows up! Oh no! It serves them right. Who rents a bungalow in the Hamptons? And how do you rent a haunted bungalow? Nothing makes sense here; thank goodness for the nudity.
3. Demon Seduction: We've heard that this movie isn't actually called "Demon Seduction," it's called "Demon Sex," which is cool because that means the demons get right to business! Although we also heard that the demons are actually aliens. One helpful Netflix review writes: "This is 87 minutes of naked strippers doing what strippers do from start to finish, wrapped around a ridiculous storyline with the cheapest possible props. The only things that will get you through this are some spare time, the admittedly nice looking women and some of their sapphic interactions."
4. Bloodlust Zombies: You can't have a movie starring Alexis Texas without a few good appearances from Alexis's legendary bubble butt. Alexis isn't the only gal to get naked in the film; it seems that the weaponized infection that turns everyone into zombies also causes clothing to disappear. Interesting fact: "Bloodlust Zombies" was made by the same people who brought us "Half Moon," the movie that Tori Black starred in and refused to promote (as discussed in our salute to straight-to-DVD films).
5. The Gore Gore Girls: This is one of Herschell Gordon Lewis's most notorious films, and they don't call him "the Godfather of Gore" for nothing. A series of brutal, stomach turning murders at a strip club lead a plucky newspaper reporter and a smart-ass private investigator into a seedy world of sex, violence, and evil. "The Gore Gore Girls" has the honor of being one of the first horror movies to ever receive an X-rating! Guess who has the extended special edition? Netflix does. Of course, it's Netflix, and as time goes on, we're discovering that the people who work there have fascinating taste in softcore cinema.
[Picture via Pure 18 (gallys.realitykings.com)]