Why Couldn’t It Have Been “Fuck Me On This Piano,” Jessie Rogers?

November 28, 2011
GRAM-PONANTE

Jessie Rogers is sexy like what we imagine 3 a.m. at Studio 54 must have been sexy, and she shows all sorts of fun, fleshy geometry as she adjusts her frilly underpants. That much we're more than OK with...

...but why did you have to make us feel like creeps, New Sensations, by naming this movie "My Little Panties"?

This is the type of title that, if the police saw it upon legally entering my home on a routine weapons warrant, would earn me three or four more unexplained bruises before I appeared before the judge.

"Tell us more about 'My Pretty Panties," he'd say. "With all the little hearts on the cover."

"It's actually 'My Pretty Panties 3,' Your Honor," I'd say.

"Take him away. I can't bear to look at him."

Had the authorities seen the very same picture accompanying a title like "Dirty Blondes" or "I Ain't Nicole Kidman XXX," I probably would have been able to keep my unlicensed Airsoft collection and be commended for my good taste.

You will not be surprised to read that Rogers does not play innocent or indeed virginal at all in the scene, as a title like "My Little Panties" would suggest. Director Eddie Powell, who is very good at what he does, lights and shoots Rogers' scene with Xander Corvus in a decidedly non-creepy way (though nowhere in the scene does she sit on a piano).

Rogers masturbates a little for an appreciative Corvus, who then decides to fuck around her panties, which are barely there anyway.

I support, and can fit my mind around, most fetishes; it's just titles like this that I'd be embarrassed to leave lying around (unlike "Dirtpipe Milkshakes").

· New Sensations (newsensations.com)
· Buy "My Little Panties 3" (tlavideo.com)

New Sensations (newsensations.com)
Buy "My Little Panties 3" (tlavideo.com)