It’s “Boobaholics Anonymous 7” And We Still Don’t Know What Boobahol Is

We spend a lot of time looking at boobs, and we feel like we know all there is to know about them. Still, we keep hearing about people needing to hit rehab for their crippling boobahol addictions, and we're kind of upset that we're missing out.

Seriously, we've just been paying attention to tits because they're shaped nicely and fun to touch. We had no idea we could get high off them! Why didn't anyone tell us?

Is it because you don't want us to end up addicted? Well look, Sean Michaels is all over this movie, so he's clearly a boobahol fiend, and yet he's still one of the coolest gentlemen on Earth. Look at him get head from Adrianna Luna: she has him bounce the head of his cock against her big, wet lips like he's getting ready to conduct an orchestra. We don't know where this guy (or anyone) gets the boobahol from, but we know that we like the look of Adrianna's tits jiggling and rippling every time Sean bangs her tight pussy.

Oh, and then Sean gets to tap the blonde Asian beauty that is Mia Rider! Her giant, swinging breasts are the perfect pancakes to wrap around Sean's sausage, and together they make a creamy, delicious breakfast that is the envy of every Denny's in the country. The point is you can't discourage us from a life of boobahol when Sean Michaels is such a successful user. Next you'll probably be telling us, "Hey, don't do heroin or you'll end up like Lou Reed."

It's not like you need to be a boob fiend to enjoy boobahol, right? We hear Chad Alva only has a casual, psychological addiction to the stuff, as evidenced by the way he gets head from Victoria Rae Black. He's clearly more interested in her teeth lightly grazing his junk than he is in the way her breasts swing as she bobs back and forth on his cock. No, this guy's only issue is an uncontrollable addiction to screwing girls against leopard print throw pillows. (He fucking loves animal prints.)

You know, this whole time we've been worrying about the guys who take boobahol without a prescription yet we haven't said a thing about the girls who produce the stuff. Hopefully, all the babes in "Boobaholics Anonymous 7" follow the fourth of the Ten Crack Commandments ("never get high on your own supply"), but we think it might be a good idea to check them for narcodick usage.

· Jules Jordan (julesjordan.com)
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