Netflix Picks: Raunchy Resolutions For The New Year

You probably have a lot of resolutions on your list already, but here's one you can actually complete: watch more movies. Culture yourself! And while you're doing it, you might as well go for movies that deal with sex because what else is there in the world?

An even easier approach is to take a big resolution and break it down into smaller ones. For example, if you want to learn French this year, you should resolve to watch more French movies. Or, if you've made a resolution to learn more about Vincent Cassel...

1. The Apartment: ...then you should watch Vincent Cassel bang his way through "The Apartment," a 1996 film about misunderstandings and mismatched lovers. Not only do you get to see Romane Bohringer roll around naked in bed, but you also get to stuff your eyeballs with Monica Belucci!

2. How Much Do You Love Me?: Our number one resolution this year is to watch more Monica Belucci films, so we're spending a little time with "How Much Do You Love Me?" and a bottle of wine. The story follows Francois (Bernard Campan), an office worker with bad health and a sad disposition, who spends his lottery winnings by proposing that a prostitute (Monica Belucci) live with him for 100,000 euros a month. Wacky hijinks occur, Gerard Depardieu shows up, Monica realizes that she's in love with Francois, and all the while, you get to see her gorgeous, seemingly eternally youthful body. Spoiler alert: Monica's nudity gives one of the characters a stroke.

3. School of Flesh: Did you make a resolution to fall in love this year? That's so sweet! However, we urge you to watch "School of Flesh" before you even make an OKCupid account. It's about Isabelle Huppert and Vincent Martinez and their May/December relationship that focuses more on lust, sex, and raw need than it does on emotions. It's based on a novel by Yukio Mishima, so you know it's good. If that doesn't convince you (and why would it?), know that "School of Flesh" features nudity from Isabelle Huppert and Roxane Mesquida.

4. Sex Is Comedy: When we first saw a clip of Roxane Mesquida getting it on in this movie, we assumed we were watching a small, albeit very well-shot sex scene in some romantic drama. Gosh, were we ever wrong! This movie is Catherine Breillat's semiautobiographical exploration of the making of a cinematic sex scene, and it's absolutely steeped in awkwardness. We think that the slow pace and discomfort involved with this movie actually increases its overall sexiness and makes the final scene much more moving.

5. Sugar Sweet: Is this the year you finally give up porn? We certainly hope not, and to dissuade you from that path, we present "Sugar Sweet," the story of a lesbian porn director named Naomi who tries to break away from her smut career by producing an all-girl dating show. Yeah, it sounds cool, but then Naomi's bosses says her work is "too gay" and her friends call her a sellout and her only comfort is hanging out in an online chatroom with a stranger. Is that what you want in 2012? Trust us, stick with the porn.

[Above: it doesn't matter what year it is as long as you're having fun! Via Mofos (fhg.mofos.com) ]