Finally: Michael Ninn’s “The Four”

February 2, 2012
GRAM-PONANTE

"The Four," Michael Ninn's long-awaited pornographic tale of what happened after the Battle of Thermopylae, is a 4-disc set worth owning. Why? Because it's way more than just Xerxoff material.

"The Four"

Studio: NinnWorx/Adam & Eve
Director: Michael Ninn
Starring: Brea Bennett, Renee Perez, Nikki Kane, Cassidey, Jennifer Dark, Marco Banderas, Jana Jordan, Dirty Harry, Charles Dera, Sledge Hammer, Veronica Jett, Amber Rayne, Maya Gates, Reno, Alexis Love, Tristan Kingsley

Review by: Gram Ponante

Shot in 2007, "The Four" takes the Bullet Time, greenscreens, and arterial spray common to "Gladiator," "The Matrix," and "Spartacus: Blood And Sand" and parks them right at the hot gates of Brea Bennett, Cassidey, and Jennifer Dark, among others.

Of course, it is "300" that is the basis for "The Four," but Ninn's movie is not a parody. Sherry Ziegelmeyer's script finds Queen Gorgo (Brea Bennett) lamenting the recent death of her husband, Leonidas (Charles Dera) by the armies of preening Persian Xerxes (Marco Banderas). She and her three compatriots seek revenge.

Granted powers (for a price) by the syphilitic gods-proxy Ephor (Dirty Harry), The Four march to Persia to confront Xerxes, each embarking on an erotic-byproduct vision quest on the way.

With a pounding, Nine Inch Nails-style soundtrack by Loren Alexander, "The Four" plays like a video game crossed with a libidinous fan fiction LiveJournal.

Its Achilles heel may be a somewhat repetitive voiceover, the floridness of which stands in contrast to the improvised dialogue of the sex scenes; women who were a moment ago gliding in slow motion and buffeted by wind machines are now shrieking "You like that pussy?!"

Beyond its value as a standalone piece of erotic art, however, "The Four" is an example of Things Ain't How They Used To Be.

Ninn's movie was the result of a once-promising relationship with a strip club chain that will remain nameless. The deal went south, court battles ensued, hundreds of thousands of dollars were spent, and now, half a decade later, a generation of porn performers has passed.

Ninn last year won back the rights to his own work, and Adam & Eve stepped in to release this sprawling epic, which couldn't have been made today and has not a single Pizza Delivery Guy in the dramatis personae.

So each copy of "The Four" is steeped in as much recent porn history as it is with shreds of Ninn's soul. If that doesn't appeal to you as a scholar, then you can console yourself with dangerous, naked Cassidey, Renee Perez, Jana Jordan et al getting in swordfights.

· Official "The Four" site (thefourmovie.com)
· Buy "The Four" (tlavideo.com)