How “Fuckstyles Of The Queer And Famous” Changed My Life

Guess what? I watched this movie, and now I'm into things I never knew I liked. That's what happens when someone sends you a copy of "Fuckstyles." Things get freaky, synapses start unfolding, your sexual desires expand; it's like receiving a music box in the mail, opening it, and finding a couple of knife-play-loving queers on the inside.

Fuckstyles of the Queer and Famous

Studio: Trouble Films
Directors: Courtney Trouble and Tina Horn
Cast: Arabelle Raphael, Jiz Lee, Wolf Hudson, James Darling, Papi Coxxx, Jolene Parton, April Flores, Sophia St. James, Maya Mayhem, Max Wellander, Varina Adams, Tobi Hill-Meyer, Maggie Mayhem, Ned Mayhem

"Fuckstyles" is a collection of Courtney and Tina's favorite scenes that they shot over the last year, but this is more than a greatest hits record; it's a love letter to smut watchers everywhere--whether or not they're familiar with queer porn--that encourages openness, curiosity, and horniness without boundaries or labels. It begins as all love letters should: with Jiz Lee and Papi Coxxx putting on some gloves and touching each other tenderly.

Well, it's tender for a moment. Papi gets their glove ready with a healthy dose of lube, and Jiz looks at their hand with affection and anticipation, knowing that there's going to be some serious G-spot tweaking in a moment. Some people complain that sex with latex gloves is "unnecessary," "too safe," or "oddly clinical," but I challenge those people to watch Jiz play with Papi's pussy and not get excited. Heck, Jiz gets so into it that it sounds like they're furiously typing away at a wet computer! How does Papi respond? With a blazing orgasm: their voice first lets out a feminine screech and then belly flops down a billion octaves to make a long, brutish grunt. And did I mention that the whole scene is bathed in green neon light, and that a mysterious artist sketches Jiz and Papi while they play?

If you asked me a week ago, "Ottimo, how do you feel about knives showing up during sex?" I would've responded, "Nuh-uh, not my steez." Then I watched Max Wellander run her blade up and down Varina Adams's body, slice off the straps of her tank-top, and tease her flesh with cold, sharp steel. I tried to take notes during this scene, really I did--I wanted to remember Varina's warm smile as Max rests the handle of her knife against her midriff, and the way Max's jaw falls open when Varina makes her come--but I was way too distracted to think about writing this review.

Basically, I got my ass handed to me by a porn film; now my ass is covered with knife-bites and glitter. How did this happen? Life is beautiful.

Hey, and speaking of asses and hands, let's talk about Quinn Valentine's ass getting handled by Sophia St. James! Quinn, ever the cowboy, keeps only his boots on while Sophia explores his anus with her fingers and fat strap-on, an act she does with such focus that I wondered if she enjoys it. My one complaint about the scene is that I wish Quinn would lavish more attention and touches on Sophia, but at the same time, I respect Sophia's generosity. She gives this lucky boy everything he could possibly ever want (yes, I do feel jealous, thanks for asking) and the grand finale involves Quinn riding the strap-on while Sophia jerks him off on her chest. Then he lies right down on her torso, snuggles up between her huge boobs, and dozes off; not even a thousand North Face sleeping bags look cozier than this.

Remember Ned and Maggie Mayhem, that adorable couple who runs Meet the Mayhems? Well, they have a scene in "Fuckstyles" and it's spectacular. For a second, I thought I was watching "This Ain't a Norman Rockwell Painting XXX." These tall, blonde, clean-cut, young Americans tear at each other with wanton lust, spanking each other raw before fucking, and when Ned finally slips inside his lady's pussy, there's no stopping them. If you put a piece of coal between them, it'll come out as a diamond; that's how hard they go. Obviously, there's more to a scene than the climax, but I'm kind of obsessed with the way these two come: Maggie's orgasms seem to come from all over her body, especially when the Hitachi Magic Wand is in play and she flushes deep red from head to toe. Ned's explosion is big and wet: his face drips with sweat, he covers Maggie's body in jizz, and he wails without a hint of self-consciousness. Then, because he's a gentleman, he licks his come off her tits and they hug and giggle.

Last year, Courtney Trouble gave everyone free access to the scene in which Wolf Hudson fucks James Darling in his tight pussy in a bathroom, and if you didn't watch it then, you have all the more reason to get "Fuckstyles." I enjoyed watching these gents go at it for a second time, and I got to better appreciate the way the sunlight dripped in the room, highlighting some ass cheeks, casting faces in shadow, etc. James is a gorgeous man, and we love how he bites his lips when Wolf fucks him from behind. And Wolf, well, everyone knows we're crushing on Wolf Hudson.

"Fuckstyles" is insane. Frankly, I'm getting excited just writing about it! Sure, there are scenes that I feel less than enthusiastic about, but there's something about queer porn that keeps you engaged and interested, and every scene has a few gems worth filing away in your fantasies. I was looking forward to Arabelle Raphael's scene with Jolene Parton (a phenomenal stage-name, by the way), but found the pace a little too slow for my tastes. However, I can still hear the sound of glass toys clinking together as Jolene's strap-on touches Arabelle's butt plug--that kind of thing sticks with you. On a similar note, I thought Maya Mayhem and Tobi Hill-Meyer--two cute trans girls having lesbian sex with a strap on--were too hesitant with each other, but they look so happy to be together that I was happy to watch them.

How does such a marvelous movie end? With April Flores touching herself! This isn't just a masturbation scene, it's a dance performance with a dildo. She writhes smoothly, leaves deep lipstick marks on her nipples, and sucks her plastic cock while looking up to the ceiling, as if she's really blowing a man. I get a synesthetic response from watching her touch herself--I taste cinnamon, flour, and lipstick. Oh, April Flores, you are a tasty dessert.

It's obvious that I had a blast watching this film, and I strongly urge you all of you to try "Fuckstyles" for yourself. Maybe you're already steeped in queer smut, maybe you've been watching nothing but Hustler's "Barely Legal" (no disrespect), whatever your smut situation is, hear my words: this movie needs to be in every respectable person's porn collection.

· Trouble Films (troublefilms.com)
· Buy "Fuckstyles of the Queer and Famous" (courtneytrouble.com)