The Encyclopedia Of Smut: U Is For Underwear

Hey, what's going on under there? Did you just say underwear? Oh, then you must have a panty fetish! Well that's perfect, because today we're going to talk about the tiny pieces of fabric that are loaded with importance and sexiness due to the fact that they spend the whole day rubbing against genitals.

Much Ado About Cotton

What's the appeal of underwear? What makes that tiny amount of cloth matter so much? We have some general ideas about proximity and intimacy and all that, but we also stumbled upon a fascinating eBay guide called PANTY FETISH: Why Men Beg, Borrow, Steal Womens Undies and we want to share an excerpt with you:

"Panties are the item closest to a woman's body. They hold all the scent that makes a woman a woman. Every woman has her favorite pair. Every day they are discarded, dirty, into the hamper. They are seldom handled by anyone other than the woman who owns them. And panties are one of the most intimate items a woman owns. To have a woman's panties is like having a little piece of her."

The author mentions a bunch of other interesting reasons why a person might crave underwear, including but not limited to:

· They enjoy the fine materials that underwear is made from (such as silk and satin).
· They get a kick out of stealing and hiding away the panties, which are very much a part of/important to the original owner.
· They like wearing underwear of a different gender, and to sense their arousal (moisture, erection, whatever) through another's clothing.

And let's not forget that some people simply love fashion.

[Above: Aiden Starr and Taylor Vixen in "Lesbian Adventures: Wet Panties Trib 2" via AEBN Porn Pay Per View Network and Adult Video On Demand (theater.aebn.net)]

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How to Appreciate Panties

If you ask ten underwear connoisseurs how to soak in the splendor of boyshorts, they'll probably all give you different answers. Just like Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, there's no wrong way to enjoy some undies. Here are a few of our favorites!

Non-Sexual or Indirectly Sexual:
· Sniff them.
· Taste them.
· Wear them.
· Rub them all over your body.

During Sex:
· Trade underwear with your partner.
· Touch your lover through their undies.
· Begin performing oral sex through the underwear, letting your mouth moisten the fabric and define the flesh within.
· Don't take the underwear off for penetration, but either pull the fabric to the side (for panties) or draw the junk through the opening (for boxers, briefs, and other penis-friendly items).

Things We've Noticed Pornstars Doing with Panties:
· Ball undies up for an impromptu gag.
· Pull panties down to the wearer's ankles and using them like shackles (or a nifty handle).
· Same as above, except with the wrist.
· Use panties as a quick cock ring/tourniquet, then fuck as normal or give a blowjob while using the panties as a handjob handle.

But hey, maybe you're the kind of person who wants to get a pair of panties, frame them, and hang them above your bed. Who are we to tell you what to do with underwear?

[Above: Xander Corvus wants to eat Mae Myers's ass, but he doesn't want to disturb her "High Heels and Panties"]

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Panty Economics

There's a whole huge market out there for the underwear fetishist, perhaps only surpassed by the markets that support the foot-related paraphiliae, and we're not just talking about all of the fancy and decadent lingerie stores out there. We're talking about used panties.

You probably already know this, but it deserves repeating: it is crazy easy to buy a girl's used panties online. Today, we stumbled across Used Panty Blog, a very well-designed website where you can get to know the wearers/sellers, review their wares, look at pictures, and even discuss ideas and articles about the panty-purchasing community. There are even special websites and payment services that are dedicated to facilitating the transactions of these items! And here we thought the used-panty vending machines were fancy.

Of course, you can still get underwear the old-fashioned way: on craigslist. If you're curious about how it's done, we encourage you to read one of Nerve's classic "I Did It for Science" articles about a woman's first time selling her undergarments.

And let's not forget about edible underwear! If humans could easily digest lace and silk, we're sure there'd be people devouring racks of Victoria's Secret lingerie, but instead we have big slabs of gummy candy shaped like panties. They were invented by David Sanderson and Lee Brady in 1975, and the U.S. Patent and Trademark office originally denied their application for a patent on the basis that candy and pants were incompatible. Eventually, the Patent people realized what a foolish statement that was, and the two inventors started churning out edible undies from a manufacturing plant in Chicago.

Don't act like you're surprised that edible underwear is an American idea.

[Above: Tiffany Star rides Anthony Rosano with her panties on in "My Little Panties 2"]

[At top: Vanessa Cage tries to eat non-edible panties in "My Little Panties 2"]