After The Year Of The Dragon, It’s The Year Of The “Big Dick In An Asian Chick”

Pop quiz: what is "Big Dick in an Asian Chick" a parody of? Did you say "Big Trouble in Little China"? If so, you are wrong. This is clearly a parody of that "Fat Guy in a Little Coat" thing that Chris Farley did in "Tommy Boy." Ramon Nomar's penis is Chris Farley and Cindy Starfall's mouth is David Spade's jacket, we guess.

You might wonder if it's poor form to base a whole porn movie around the same brief (albeit beloved) gag from a male-heavy 1995 buddy comedy flick, and that makes us wonder why you aren't busy gazing at the sun illuminating the fine arm hairs of Arial Rose as she pulls down her panties. You see, this movie is provocative, and it provokes a lot of questions. Here's another: how many licks does it take to get a "Big Dick in an Asian Chick"? Let's ask Mr. Owl.

For one, it's hard to count licks when you're only looking at pictures. Second, it's hard to count licks when so many of these licks are really big, wet, slobbery sucks, such as the one Cindy Starfall gives to Ramon Nomar's rod. Sweat runs down his arms, drool drips down her chin, and that--plus all of the lube get that applied off-camera--means that Big Dick enters Asian Chick faster than you can see "cultural exchange." Besides, we know for a fact that Cindy is skilled at handling enormous wangs; this is proven by her scene in "Lex is Too Big for Teens," during which Lexington Steele's shlong nearly turns Cindy's bellybutton into an outie.

You may notice that all of the women in this film are wearing sailor-style schoolgirl outfits, but we feel that Arial Rose commits to the costume in ways that the others don't. It's not just that she keeps the outfit on or enhances it with thick glasses; it's the studious look on her face as she gazes at the Mick Blue banging away at her tight pussy. After observing the way Mick cups either side of her tiny ass as he lifts and lowers her on his turgid member, Arial puts her glasses on and proceeds to spread her cheeks apart for the rest of the scene: every position, every moment, and even when he's tapping her tonsils with his dick, she's spreading those gams as wide as they can go so that we can learn about her labia as she learns about Mick. You see, it's really education that gets a "Big Dick in an Asian Chick."

Education, determination, and masturbation all contribute to the process, so if you want to help more large members enter young women of this particular heritage, buy "Big Dick in an Asian Chick" and promote this happy genital alignment with every stroke you make.

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