The Sexy Things We’re Thankful For

If it's the fourth Thursday in November (and it is!), it must be time to count your blessings. Curious to know what ours are? Read on.

Ottimo is thankful for...

GIFs. Did you know that GIF was named Word of the Year by Oxford American Dictionary? It's true! The word has been around since the '80s, but it's gained new significance in recent years. It's not quite a video, not really an emoticon, and it's not just a sequence of pictures looped together: it's a mode of expression and a fucking awesome way to capture tasty morsels of porn.

Netflix. Sometimes I feel like expanding my cultural horizons, sometimes I feel like seeing boobs, but mostly I want to do both at the same time (because I'm a busy man) and that's where Netflix comes in. Celebrity nudity at the tips of my fingers makes me feel powerful.

Richardson Magazine's videos. The whole magazine is great and often features some of our favorite people, but I personally have grown very attached to the surreal videos that Richardson occasionally puts out. They've shown us the innermind of a horny teenage boy, the emotional range of Dana DeArmond, the future of 3D hentai, and they even got us acquainted with the classic incest porno, "Taboo."

FEMEN. It's so comforting to know that at any given moment, somewhere in Europe, a gang of badass feminist activists are getting ready to cause a stir by stripping topless and calling politicians out on their shit. They've had many run-ins with the law--some more harrowing than others--but they keep on doing what they do and we love them for it.

Fleshbot Fridays at Headquarters. As you already know, we've been hosting monthly burlesque shows at Headquarters Gentlemen's Club and they are absolutely insane. It's basically a massive party with pornstars, burlesque performers, strippers, nerdy bloggers, cheap booze, magic, and no cover. It's also a nice way to get in touch with the beautiful art of burlesque, and I'm thankful that I get to be a part of it. If you're ever in New York at the end of the month, you should come be a part of it, too!

Florabel is thankful for...

The Vanity Vr4.5. The Rolls-Royce of vibrators, the Vanity Vr4.5 by jOpen manages to succeed where many others fail: hitting the G-spot (and how!) while maintaining flexible, comfortable, and lusty contact with the clit. It's the holy grail of self-love, and makes me happy in a way most objects simply can't.

ONE Condoms. Not only do they look super fly, but they feel great while still being durable as hell. I had an experience where two lesser condoms snapped and generally couldn't stand the heat -- but then I brought out my ONE, like a glistening gem from the bowels of my carpetbag, and it saved the day. Thanks be.

The inimitable Wolf Hudson. It's no secret that Wolfie is my number one stud of the year this go-round. I'm ever so thankful he fucks all the things he does, and does it with such style. He makes me smile on the inside and out.

My Ever-Loving Pocket Toyfriend. It's a diminutive yet cutie little vibe with a heart of gold and a powerful purr. Robust enough to do plenty of dirty work on its own, yet small enough to complement any other toy -- and be taken on the go! -- this Toyfriend earns my appreciation, well, quite regularly.

And most importantly, I'm thankful for all you gorgeous readers out there! Thank you so much for visiting, reading, fapping, validating our perversity, and giving me the sick livelihood of which I've always dreamed. Thank you!!

Gram is thankful for...

A decade of employment. November, 2002 was the month I started working at AVN. As a joke. I thought, "How can this business sustain writing about it for more than six months?" And yet so many ridiculous, wonderful, disturbing, thought-provoking, significant, and even newsworthy events have kept my interest all this time. And I am thankful for Fleshbot, which has been a home away from home since 2005.

Elegant Angel's boxcovers. Unless there was a movie featuring women with maybe ten to twenty extra pounds than the porn standard, all of them lounging around wearing just one item of my clothing and nothing else, I can't think of a better forum for presenting our nation's porn stars looking their best than the body of work that is the Elegant Angel boxcover.

Jacky St. James and Eddie Powell. This New Sensations writing/directing team might actually make you like couples' porn. It's a tall order, but they continually present sex as a function of life rather than—as many couples' porn movies do—an obsession. Don't you want to watch movies in which it looks like people enjoy having sex as opposed to being darkly/secretly/whateverly compelled to it?

Dana Vespoli and Manuel Ferrara. Whichever company the former couple are working for, each delivers great scenes that are believable. Chemistry is important to them, and with so much porn saturating the market, we sometimes forget that chemistry is important to us.

Lux is thankful for....

POV porn. Guys. You know that I'm a lady, right? Well. Being a lady, and one without a penis at that, I sometimes wonder what it might be like to have a penis of my own. POV porn may not provide me with all the sensation that having an actual, factual penis does, but it mimics the male experience of sex far closer than standard shot porn ever could. And for that, I'm truly grateful.

Tristan Taormino. I met this wonderful lady over a decade ago, when she was a Village Voice columnist and I was a star struck fan girl. Now she's one of my favorite porn directors, a woman who tirelessly works to put out some of the most consistently hot (and often educational!) porn on the market. And that's not even her full time job. I don't know how she does it, but I'm so incredibly glad she does.

The XBIZ Awards (sound warning!). Hey, did you know that we're up for an award? Because we totally are. I don't really know what a "fan portal" is, or what it takes to be Fan Portal of the Year, but I'm truly honored that XBIZ was kind enough to recognize us in the category. (And I'm extra super grateful that F is early enough in the alphabet to give us the top slot on that list of nominated fan portals.)

Clayton Cubitt. Not only is he a talented artist, he's also genius enough to combine my two biggest loves (masturbation and reading, duh) into one amazing artistic product. And I'll be even more thankful when he finally releases my episode to the masses.

Cindy Gallop. Anyone who gets the Times Style Section talking about porn deserves some props.

Matthew Barney. I can't actually say much about this one, but make a note in your calendar to stop into your local opera house in 2014 to see some serious craziness.

[Get thankful for gorgeous porn over at X-Art.]