And To Think That “Buttface” Used To Be An Insult

Sometimes it seems like porn is the end result of dealing with a lifetime of lame schoolyard trash talk. Perhaps someone yelled "Kiss my ass!" at Belladonna back in the day, and that stayed lodged in her psyche until she came of age and decided, "Yes, I will kiss ass, and so will all of my friends, and everyone is going to love it."

The next time someone says something mean and vile in your direction, pick their insult apart and see what money can be made off the filming of such an act. Then, instead of chanting "I am rubber and you are glue," you can chant, "I'm an entrepreneur and you should've secured the rights to that diss because I'm gonna be rich!"

Jada Stevens and Gracie Glam make an adorable pair for the simple fact that they seem so similar: they're both glamorous brunettes with devilish smiles and deceptively huge asses, so if you squint, you can pretend that one woman has cloned herself in order to tongue her own asshole. (Who hasn't wanted to do that before?) But the admiration each girl has for the other's ass goes beyond any narcissism, it's a pure rump respect: you can see it in the way Gracie pinches Jada's cheeks and drools over the creases she makes.

In fact, it looks like all of the pairs in this porno have great chemistry. Dig the way Lea Lexis crawls over Tori Lux--really smearing every inch of their (still clothed) bodies together--and sucks everything that can possibly be sucked. Nothing compares to the look of Tori's tushie in those tattered tights, and you can actually see the hunger in Lea's face as her tongue laps between Tori's legs. This affects us in the same way the sight of someone drinking Odwalla does. We see it and instantly feel thirsty and low on nutrients. We need ass nutrients now.

It's nice to see Kristina Rose in another Belladonna production! Her enthusiasm is always welcome, and in her scene with Reena Sky, that high energy gets channeled into desperate snuggles. The tryst begins with the usual assortment of rimming, facesitting, and ass cheek spreading, but by the end when they're completely naked and sweaty, all they want to do is be in each other's arms. We love the picture of Kristina clutching Reena to her bosom while rubbing the side of her calf against Reena's pussy. It says, "I love you and never want to let go, but I'm also going to grind against you with whatever body part is available." That's the kind of shit Hallmark needs to print.

If you like butts and you like faces, then you need to put 'em together and check out "Butt Face 2." It might sound like we're brown-nosing, but we're not--we just wish we were.

· Evil Angel (evilangel.com)
· Buy "Belladonna's Buttface Two" (store.fleshbot.com)