When you're plunging your finger in and out of your ass sometimes it's nice to spruce up the whole shebang with a pretty length of pearls. Asses are gorgeous of their own accord, but they also look right smart all gussied up going to the ball.
We want to caper and twirl and whisk this ass off its feet (as much as asses have feet). And then, yeah, we'd fingerblast it in a side room somewhere... But that always happens at the ball, are we right?
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